Improve Your Writing Skills (New Thread)

[Fenn]

Alright, I think its been two days, I guess the next person can post theirs now. (sorry for taking contol here Fenn, but I just wanted to say that people would know better when to post their story if you say when the two days are over with, and I realized that its been two days since the last one and thought I'd help out).

Dude jump in as mush as you want. You created this. I'll try to be more on top of it.

[ClockHand]

The Best Story Ever Writted.

So I'm going to tell you guys about the greatest story ever writted; so great that make pokerplayers cry, narcissits laugh and smartass stop being douchebags. So awesome that even my mom told me was great, and she is dead. So powerful that influence a Gandhi, even so I didn't writte it until now. And so... well you guys get it now.

Everything started in the 80's in a little village of Chupica, so little that if you fart in one extreme the people of the other side knows that was you. So charmi that even the elders are hot. So nice and polite that people use the few guns of the village as park decorations. It was a good town, it was a nice town.

But the story is not about the town, is more deeper than that, is about a gentleman. Sir Roger Waltermelon was a lier, a thief, a scamer and a rat. Yes he was a rat, literally speaking.

Everything started with the father of Sir Roger Waltermelon, the Sir Pancu Pancu. He was a nice man, a man of science and logic, who didn't had any hair of dumb, well he didn't had to much hair in head to be honest and he had weird a religious behavior. Every monday he cut his nails, nothing of the other world, but every nail longer than 0,9 centimeters he save it in a bottle, a bottle in a closet fulled of bottles with the same purpose. Not only this, but he has always had a weird fetish with shoes, he loved shoes, more than a woman does, because he doesn't only buy shoes in a sexual maner, he also like every shoes he buy, every new shoes pass by his tounge, and his pleasure doesn't end there because when the shoes were old and ragged he hanged them in the roof of his room, the bathroom, the kitchen and even places that didn't have roof.


Ok, critic me plz.

[Delphinus]

Ahahaha. Could you be any more obvious a troll?

[Fenn]

The Best Story Ever Writted.

So I'm going to tell you guys about the greatest story ever writted; so great that make pokerplayers cry, narcissits laugh and smartass stop being douchebags. So awesome that even my mom told me was great, and she is dead. So powerful that influence a Gandhi, even so I didn't writte it until now. And so... well you guys get it now.

Everything started in the 80's in a little village of Chupica, so little that if you fart in one extreme the people of the other side knows that was you. So charmi that even the elders are hot. So nice and polite that people use the few guns of the village as park decorations. It was a good town, it was a nice town.

But the story is not about the town, is more deeper than that, is about a gentleman. Sir Roger Waltermelon was a lier, a thief, a scamer and a rat. Yes he was a rat, literally speaking.

Everything started with the father of Sir Roger Waltermelon, the Sir Pancu Pancu. He was a nice man, a man of science and logic, who didn't had any hair of dumb, well he didn't had to much hair in head to be honest and he had weird a religious behavior. Every monday he cut his nails, nothing of the other world, but every nail longer than 0,9 centimeters he save it in a bottle, a bottle in a closet fulled of bottles with the same purpose. Not only this, but he has always had a weird fetish with shoes, he loved shoes, more than a woman does, because he doesn't only buy shoes in a sexual maner, he also like every shoes he buy, every new shoes pass by his tounge, and his pleasure doesn't end there because when the shoes were old and ragged he hanged them in the roof of his room, the bathroom, the kitchen and even places that didn't have roof.


Ok, critic me plz.

Here is a list of what this might be, in order of likeliness:

1. Troll post making fun of how artists and writers will call anything art. You were hoping for true praise which you would then mock.

2. A very strange story which uses poor grammar to try to convey a deep message, perhaps it is the perspective of a mental patient.

3. You have terrible grammar and want help improving.

Ahahaha. Could you be any more obvious a troll?

See #1. /:'

[ClockHand]

I want 4. English is not my native language and I want to improve. What abotu that? because if you don't like it you can put your fist in your ass (yeah I'm that cute).

[jubeh]

Not sure if you can see that thing under clocks avatar that says he has been warned. That being said if you ignore him he will leave kind of like micheal jackson.

[Fenn]

I want 4. English is not my native language and I want to improve. What abotu that? because if you don't like it you can put your fist in your ass (yeah I'm that cute).

Oh yeah?

Let me remember.

Well I didn't like the lack of deepness in the character (no background story of the other characters, no explanation of interest and goals, etc), a lot of accion that didn't make sense, a main story layered by a egocentric story, and bad narration.

I don't remember EVERYTHING but I think this is mostly what I dislike about the movie.

Now the movie is not bad like The Expendables, but neither is amazing as many mini Nolan fans are screaming. The movie is ok, but its die when you think (and its supposed to be an accion film with more phylosophycal implications. Failing in this, because if you think a little the movie fells down).

Bad grammar huh?

Not sure if you can see that thing under clocks avatar that says he has been warned. That being said if you ignore him he will leave kind of like micheal jackson.

I don't see anything but I'll take your word for it. Thank you. And I don't really mind so long as he doesn't kill the thread. I mean, techniically it is a story sort of...

Next writer may post...NOW!

[Tanatos]

I'm the next?! Things ran so fast D:

Ok, one or two days my history will be here =]

[Fenn]

I'm the next?! Things ran so fast D:

Ok, one or two days my history will be here =]

Hurry! Jk but btw we aren't going in order any more.

[Tanatos]

The rise

Long painfull years of torture and opression. A common story, repeated over and over again. And here we are, telling that story, waiting for a hero, waiting for a chance to fight, to scape, to change the tides of our fate.
It will end tonight. One way or the other. It will finaly end. Here we are on the woods outside the main castle. All the workers, I mean, all the slaves of the empire. Holding their tools as weapons, weapons crying for freedom, crying for a chance. The night cover our heresy, the cold warm our hate, and here we are planing.
After a few minutes of discussion the old man of our new formed ‘militia’ said loud to all of us:
-Lend an ear to the old man who talk to you. Tonight! Tonight we’ll strike the opressor into his own home, into his heart, and may our sacrifice spread trought the wind. May our brothers and sisters hear our call. We shall tremble the very base of the demon!
Everywere people were cheering, dancing, hugging and kissing their families, for the last time. All the ‘soldiers’, I almost don’t dare call them like that, were ready to atack. I was on the front lines, sixteen years old and going as the ‘flag man’. Such a young soldier holding such an enormous responsability. I was glad with my duty, I was in front, I was supposed to be the first to die, quickly. But, oh, how wonderfull is the hability of fate to change itself...

It's here!