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Thread: Improve Your Writing Skills (New Thread)

  1. #31
    Princess of Default Victories pajamajam's Avatar
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    A little. I'm a clumsy insomniac, and the easiest thing to make in the middle of the night without waking people up is toast. I've gotten myself pretty good a couple times from not paying attention, but I haven't cut my hand open with a cleaver yet.

  2. #32
    Regular Member Son44's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    Man, good. I'm just gonna post it.

    There is nothing quite like toast and raspberry jam at three in the morning. The only thing that could make it better would be to have some after a few hours of hot sex, but that doesn't happen very often. Obviously.

    So anyway, toast. Put some cheap bread in the toaster. Make sure it's plugged in. Open the fridge – great, the jar's empty. Go to the cupboard – Score! One jar left.

    Damn! It's shut tight. Hot water on the lid – still won't budge. The toast's just popped up, finished. It'll be cold by the time the jar gets opened. Maybe I should use grape tonight. Stubborn as hell, decide against it.

    Grab the first knife I can find – giant meat cleaver. Perfect. Bang jar lid with edge, not really paying attention – Fuck! Big, leaky gash on left hand now. Ignore the pain, turn knife around, keep swinging. Jar lid's all dented and crappy now, but try it and – success! It finally opens. Quickly find a smaller knife, put cold toast on plate, get to work.

    Blood dripping on slightly burnt toast. Ignore it, sloppily slathering the dark red preserves on the burnt bread, anxious. Red mingling with red as blood drips on the bread, use bad hand to pick up late-night meal, sit down on the kitchen floor, spent.

    Big bite from toast. Salty blood mixing with sweet, rich raspberry. I think I've improved my recipe.
    Wow... thats really interesting

    As people mentioned you really managed to get the character forward without pushing it. To me this is like a voice over in a movie like in Memento. Sweet descriptions and perspective as well

  3. #33
    Teen Member Avy16's Avatar
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    I think it's really good. Like everyone's saying it really shows what the character's like. I also found it funny in a creepy kinda way.

  4. #34
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    Only thing I've got to say is pretty much what everyone else has said. Good story.


    P.S. I can see that this thread is starting to get crammed with people, so if anyone is available, would someone like to be in charge of a second improve your writing skills thread?

  5. #35
    Three Trio Tres Member DrPumpkin's Avatar
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    I would happily take over the second thread.

    Would the rules be the same as this one?

  6. #36
    Junior Member
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    Yes. Same rules. The idea of no posting order that Fenn had is starting to sound like a pretty good idea to me. If you think we should do it, then that's up to you. Here are the people you will get:
    DrPumpkin
    Son44
    sawyer
    Avy16
    Devillan
    Illustrate me

    Thanks for offering.

  7. #37
    Three Trio Tres Member DrPumpkin's Avatar
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    Received and understood.

    What should I do if more people want to join? Should I let them join the thread I'm gonna make, or should I let them go to this one?

  8. #38
    Fenn
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrPumpkin View Post
    Received and understood.

    What should I do if more people want to join? Should I let them join the thread I'm gonna make, or should I let them go to this one?
    Make a second. Once mine gets too full I'll send people over to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    A little.
    O_O

    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    I'm a clumsy insomniac, and the easiest thing to make in the middle of the night without waking people up is toast. I've gotten myself pretty good a couple times from not paying attention, but I haven't cut my hand open with a cleaver
    Oh okay then. Makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    yet.
    O_O
    Last edited by Fenn; 01-14-2011 at 10:23 PM.

  9. #39
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    Alright, I think its been two days, I guess the next person can post theirs now. (sorry for taking contol here Fenn, but I just wanted to say that people would know better when to post their story if you say when the two days are over with, and I realized that its been two days since the last one and thought I'd help out).

  10. #40
    999 Knights Member Renzokuken's Avatar
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    C'est moi. Alright. Let's give it a go!

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