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Thread: Improve Your Writing Skills (New Thread)

  1. #21
    Princess of Default Victories pajamajam's Avatar
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    This one died before it really began. I hope the next dude posts something or forgets soon so it can be my turn to forget.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    This one died before it really began. I hope the next dude posts something or forgets soon so it can be my turn to forget.
    Once people start posting their short stories it will start up.

    Son44: Yeah, after finals things really died out. Its starting to come back a bit though. And when Rio deletes the old site, I'll move it to this forum. Only I'm going to kick out the non active ones. Unless they want to rejoin of course.

  3. #23
    Fenn
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    January is really busy for a lot of people. As the next month or two progresses we should get more people to participate. Heck even I forgot.

    Edit: Brain, I think I'm gonna change the rules temporarily, until we get some actual stories posted.

    Whoever wishes to post a story next, regardless of the list order, may do so. HOWEVER, once someone posts a story, everyone else must wait 2 days before posting their story, to give people time to read/critique it. Also, once you have posted a story you may not post another until at least one other person has posted a story and the 2 days is up.

    Okay?
    Last edited by Fenn; 01-12-2011 at 10:30 AM.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn View Post
    January is really busy for a lot of people. As the next month or two progresses we should get more people to participate. Heck even I forgot.

    Edit: Brain, I think I'm gonna change the rules temporarily, until we get some actual stories posted.

    Whoever wishes to post a story next, regardless of the list order, may do so. HOWEVER, once someone posts a story, everyone else must wait 2 days before posting their story, to give people time to read/critique it. Also, once you have posted a story you may not post another until at least one other person has posted a story and the 2 days is up.

    Okay?
    Sounds alright to me. Might get a little confusing though. Maybe someone could send you a pm if they have a story, though that was in the rules. I just don't think any one ever paid attention to it. But yeah, its whatever is more convenient for you.

  5. #25
    Princess of Default Victories pajamajam's Avatar
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    Man, good. I'm just gonna post it.

    There is nothing quite like toast and raspberry jam at three in the morning. The only thing that could make it better would be to have some after a few hours of hot sex, but that doesn't happen very often. Obviously.

    So anyway, toast. Put some cheap bread in the toaster. Make sure it's plugged in. Open the fridge – great, the jar's empty. Go to the cupboard – Score! One jar left.

    Damn! It's shut tight. Hot water on the lid – still won't budge. The toast's just popped up, finished. It'll be cold by the time the jar gets opened. Maybe I should use grape tonight. Stubborn as hell, decide against it.

    Grab the first knife I can find – giant meat cleaver. Perfect. Bang jar lid with edge, not really paying attention – Fuck! Big, leaky gash on left hand now. Ignore the pain, turn knife around, keep swinging. Jar lid's all dented and crappy now, but try it and – success! It finally opens. Quickly find a smaller knife, put cold toast on plate, get to work.

    Blood dripping on slightly burnt toast. Ignore it, sloppily slathering the dark red preserves on the burnt bread, anxious. Red mingling with red as blood drips on the bread, use bad hand to pick up late-night meal, sit down on the kitchen floor, spent.

    Big bite from toast. Salty blood mixing with sweet, rich raspberry. I think I've improved my recipe.

  6. #26
    999 Knights Member Renzokuken's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    Man, good. I'm just gonna post it.

    There is nothing quite like toast and raspberry jam at three in the morning. The only thing that could make it better would be to have some after a few hours of hot sex, but that doesn't happen very often. Obviously.

    So anyway, toast. Put some cheap bread in the toaster. Make sure it's plugged in. Open the fridge – great, the jar's empty. Go to the cupboard – Score! One jar left.

    Damn! It's shut tight. Hot water on the lid – still won't budge. The toast's just popped up, finished. It'll be cold by the time the jar gets opened. Maybe I should use grape tonight. Stubborn as hell, decide against it.

    Grab the first knife I can find – giant meat cleaver. Perfect. Bang jar lid with edge, not really paying attention – Fuck! Big, leaky gash on left hand now. Ignore the pain, turn knife around, keep swinging. Jar lid's all dented and crappy now, but try it and – success! It finally opens. Quickly find a smaller knife, put cold toast on plate, get to work.

    Blood dripping on slightly burnt toast. Ignore it, sloppily slathering the dark red preserves on the burnt bread, anxious. Red mingling with red as blood drips on the bread, use bad hand to pick up late-night meal, sit down on the kitchen floor, spent.

    Big bite from toast. Salty blood mixing with sweet, rich raspberry. I think I've improved my recipe.
    This is very disturbing. ._.

    I like the way it's written, though. Kinda like someone's talking to like a TV audience or something. That's the picture I get; a person eating blood and jam on toast, a wide grin on their face, with a (live) audience, scared to death of this person's inability to feel pain. XD

    Could I be a nuisance and request that my name be put on the list, please?

  7. #27
    101 Dalmations Member ScarletHue's Avatar
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    what an unusual character. I thought it was really well done , I got a real sense for what the person is like in that little chunk of writing. The part about sex not happening very often seems to indicate at least to me , that he/she knows how bizzare they are as they use the word obviouslly at the end.

    seems like he was in hell of a rush to get his toast even though its the middle of the night. Until the second half you get the impression of an average guy trying to get his favourite meal , and then into the second section it gets more and more strange , with his tolerance for pain as well as him being fine with eating his own blood on toast. Hes almost happy about it as he bites in.

    Strange , but it was very well done.

  8. #28
    Fenn
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    Quote Originally Posted by pajamajam View Post
    Man, good. I'm just gonna post it.

    There is nothing quite like toast and raspberry jam at three in the morning. The only thing that could make it better would be to have some after a few hours of hot sex, but that doesn't happen very often. Obviously.

    So anyway, toast. Put some cheap bread in the toaster. Make sure it's plugged in. Open the fridge – great, the jar's empty. Go to the cupboard – Score! One jar left.

    Damn! It's shut tight. Hot water on the lid – still won't budge. The toast's just popped up, finished. It'll be cold by the time the jar gets opened. Maybe I should use grape tonight. Stubborn as hell, decide against it.

    Grab the first knife I can find – giant meat cleaver. Perfect. Bang jar lid with edge, not really paying attention – Fuck! Big, leaky gash on left hand now. Ignore the pain, turn knife around, keep swinging. Jar lid's all dented and crappy now, but try it and – success! It finally opens. Quickly find a smaller knife, put cold toast on plate, get to work.

    Blood dripping on slightly burnt toast. Ignore it, sloppily slathering the dark red preserves on the burnt bread, anxious. Red mingling with red as blood drips on the bread, use bad hand to pick up late-night meal, sit down on the kitchen floor, spent.

    Big bite from toast. Salty blood mixing with sweet, rich raspberry. I think I've improved my recipe.
    Nice style, good choice of perspective, utterly gross. But this tells a hell of a lot about the character without stating it directly. The person probably doesn't care what anyone thinks about them, probably gets maimed often (suggesting either crime or recklessness), and has a sarcastic outlook on life. This would make for a great anti-hero/protagonist!

    Quote Originally Posted by Renzokuken View Post
    Could I be a nuisance and request that my name be put on the list, please?
    You're a pain in the butt, y'know that? Added.


    Please wait until tomorrow before anyone posts another story.

  9. #29
    Princess of Default Victories pajamajam's Avatar
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    Thanks you guys.

  10. #30
    Fenn
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    That wouldn't be drawing from personal experience now, would it?

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