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Thread: BozeSG's Mind Leaks

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    Three Trio Tres Member BozeSG's Avatar
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    BozeSG's Mind Leaks

    I made up a comedy story a few days ago and since i probably won't turn it into anything, i thought i might post it here:

    Sky Mermaid
    The story is about a boy who's scared of anything he sees. one day, his parents decide to go on a trip so they leave him with his uncle who's house is in the seaside for a few weeks.
    the boy tries to cope with his fears so that his uncle and his wife won't know about his cowardliness, but one time, in the middle of the night he freaks out when he sees his own shadow on the wall while going to the toilet, so he runs out of the house and hides in the beach nearby, but again he freaks out at everything he sees (mostly, about the fact that the line between the sea and the sky is not distinguishable) there so he runs back into the house.
    the next day, when he wakes up, he finds a baby mermaid (as big as his thumb) in his uncle's aquarium on the verge of being eaten by the other fish, turns out that at night, whenever the sea line cannot be seen, the sky and the sea connect and this baby mermaid had fallen from the sky to the sea and got into the boy's cloth when he was hiding in the beach.
    the story revolves around the boy trying to raise the mermaid in three weeks ( the mermaid's got a frightening growth speed ) so she can go back to her home in he sky.

    sorry if my literature skills suck, that's the main reason i got into manga and stuff that don't need much writing.

    EDIT: i decided to turn this thread into a story/plot critique thread, from now on, i'll just post new stories/plots which come to my mind so other users say their critiques or comments about it. how is it going to help me? i'll become more and more skilled in both creating stories and telling them and i might get a hint of how the reader reacts to stories... so i'd appreciate it if you would just post your thoughts about the stories or point out things that are wrong about them.

    FYI, the stories posted on this thread are mostly not going to be used by myself, so if you ever became interested in drawing a manga based on them, just let me know.
    Last edited by BozeSG; 05-10-2011 at 10:43 AM.

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