Your Unpopular Opinions

[CypressDahlia]

My point isn't whether or not victims have power, it's whether or not it's justified to label them weak when they are just responding in a manner scripted by nature. Besides, it's not up to the bully or onlookers to decide those standards for victims. The victims themselves should decide. Yet we abide by standards set indirectly by second or third parties. That is wrong, especially given something as unique to the individual as a bully and how one copes with his own emotions.

Also, I can't even imagine how you would begin to justify that second part. Elaborate.

[GunZet]

Dragonball z kai is better than the old dubs. Yeah I said it.

No.

[Fenn]

I never said anything about a physical confrontation. I believe physical confrontation is the last resort. What I meant is: it's not a crime to be sentimental. If you feel upset, cry. If you feel angry, get angry. Again, why should I hide my emotions to impress my bully? But obviously you have to draw a line before you start violating laws and statutes of the local environment because that is no longer simply about yourself and directly affects other people. But that's beyond the scope of what we're talking about. We're talking about how to be in control of your own emotions.

Let me pose a question: is every reaction you make to any conflict, not just verbal abuse, based solely on the first emotion you feel? Because mine certainly is not. Regardless of how I feel, I prefer to weight my options objectively and choose the logical reaction based on the situation. Once I am in a safer position, such as in my own privacy or with friends, I will open up.

Furthermore, part of my point was that it makes no sense to be angry or sad in the first place. Emotions are not wholly unconscious things. Something that makes you sad one day may make you laugh another because you understand the situation better. If you realize that there is no reason to be angry or sad, chances are you won't be angry or sad! Not always, but often.

You see, what you initially suggested was this:

"Verbal abuse should never be met with a negative reply..."

I thought that was wrong. What you're suggesting now is a choice on the victim's part to shrug it off and, as long as it's their personal choice, they are in control. That was my point. Oppositely, shrugging it off against an overpowering desire to be upset or angry is betraying yourself. But to argue that it's illogical to react in a way that our bodies are programmed to react is just wrong, Fenn. I think you're confusing logical with "socially flattering" (which is entirely subjective) as it's not always the best look to explode or cry or retaliate, but it makes sense.

Which is why I, again, ask: what the hell is up with apathy being the golden rule? It's to the point where we look down on people who demonstrate natural responses to things. It's especially "unflattering" to express sadness when being bullied because it writes you off as "weak". But, at the same time, that is a standard created by people who are //not// the victim ie. onlookers or the bullies themselves.

You are right, my initial argument was way off. I do that a lot.

My revised point, as stated above, is that the natural response is not always the appropriate one. When I get whacked in the face my immediate, natural response is to strike back, But I don't (usually); I might yell and ask why someone hit me, and it turns out it was an accident. Now, if I had just gone with my natural response, I would have harmed the person unnecessarily. You could say it was justified and fair to do, and the other person might even understand why you did that, but is it the desired result?

By "twisted bully mentality", what I meant is this: a bully will mark you weak if you get upset, despite the fact that they are clearly trying to make you upset. That's like getting mad at water for boiling even though you put it over a flame. Why the hell should someone abide by such a backwards thought process? And onlookers simply don't have the first-hand experience to make judgement calls.

Very true. However, let me pose this question: Give me one reason why, if a stranger walks up to you and calls you a fat gay retard (just an example), you should be angry or hurt by this? Because I can't think of anything.

[wolfman]

black pudding is delicious, so is milk and coke mixed together
i dont see why people like queen, or the beetles
i like CoD and find it fun

[CypressDahlia]

... Regardless of how I feel, I prefer to weight my options objectively and choose the logical reaction based on the situation.

My revised point, as stated above, is that the natural response is not always the appropriate one.

I get you, man. But see, this is where the discrepancy lies: logical does not always equal appropriate. In fact, the most logical way to behave in a situation is the way your body is programmed to behave because, in all objectivity, that is correct. It's like a computer that is programmed to do hypothetical Task A. Though Task A may not always be appropriate, it's entirely logical for the computer to do as it is programmed. But what you're saying is to gauge which response is most //appropriate// which is based on a lot of different factors (mostly societal). So I was just pointing out that it's entirely logical to respond naturally and that appropriateness is a separate standard. Otherwise, I do agree with you.

Give me one reason why, if a stranger walks up to you and calls you a fat gay retard (just an example), you should be angry or hurt by this? Because I can't think of anything.

Because it's an insult and my body and mind are hormonally programmed to respond negatively to insults. That is the most logical response and one cannot be demonized for responding that way. In terms of appropriateness, I would say it's not a big deal.

But since my argument was against your initial point, I guess we've come to terms.

[Hayashida]

i dont see why people like queen, or the beetles

goddammit lee

[Slurpee]

This thread is stupid. >_>

Originally Posted by wolfman
i dont see why people like queen, or the beetles

dude, HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THEM?

[Hayashida]

Is that your unpopular opinion?

[GunZet]

black pudding is delicious, so is milk and coke mixed together
i dont see why people like queen, or the beetles
i like CoD and find it fun

Blood sausage looks horrible. Yes I've knocked it before I tried it.
Milk and coke is completely horrid. I'll drink Brahmin milk before I drink that mixed.
Queen is cool. Never got into the Beetles.
CoD is fun...single player that is.

[Hayashida]

Dammit you guys, it's BEATles not beetles.

I haven't tried black pudding before but I'm going to try it this summer when I go to the UK.