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Thread: Malicious Intelligence (working title)

  1. #1

    Malicious Intelligence (working title)

    Genre: Science-Fiction/Horror/Action
    Title: Malicious Intelligence

    BioTECH Laboratories is a small company that is branched off from their mother company: BioTECH Industries. BioTECH Laboratories handles insignificant projects, such as cures for common diseases or how to make cough medicine taste better. The CEO and founder of BioTECH, [insert name here] accidentally stumbled upon a genetic altering virus while trying to combine a common cold with a fabric softener. Curious, he tested the new virus on an unsuspecting test subject. The outcome was a mindless killing machine that had a liking for human flesh, and who also feared the color orange. Amazed, [insert CEO's name here] decided to mass produce the virus and sell it as a bonus with each purchase of their company's “Children's Tasteless Cough Medicine for Children”. It was described as a vaccination that could, and would, change the way people thought of medicine.

    After a few incidents where children tried eating their parents' flesh, the “vaccination” was discontinued and recalled. BioTECH Laboratories was shut down as a result. Before the company's close, [insert CEO's name here] ordered that his daughter's brain be transferred into an A.I. he built. The artificial intelligence would continue testing and would monitor the facility long after its shutdown.

    Days later, everyone who worked within the confines of BioTECH Laboratories disappeared. Their mother company, BioTECH Industries, decided to leave it a mystery and sealed the facility shut. Nothing got in, and nothing got out. Or so they thought.

    Our protagonist Aleks finds himself awakening from a heavily sedated sleep in a furnished room. Confused, he tries to rationalize where he is and what has happened to him. Amnesia is a bitch. He also quickly realizes that he cannot speak. Whatever the reason, he's unable to speak and is lacking in the memories department. Just great.

    Also, he's alone. Utterly alone.

    A voice over an ancient intercom system instructs Aleks to proceed to the testing chamber. Unwillingly, he does as he is told. He follows the voice's instructions in hopes that he will eventually understand what the Hell is going on.

    thoughts?

  2. #2
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    Resident Evil Movie.

  3. #3
    Super Senior Member Delphinus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by distorteddirk View Post
    BioTECH Laboratories handles insignificant projects, such as cures for common diseases or how to make cough medicine taste better.
    Cancer is a common disease. So is AIDs. At one point, so were smallpox and bubonic plague. o__O

    On a less nit-picky and more literary note: what are the CEO's motivations for releasing this virus into the wild? My willing suspension of disbelief stretches far enough to accept the virus's creation, but surely the man isn't just doing this to score evil brownie points? Also, isn't it a bit contrived that he happens to have a daughter with a spare brain lying around (and an AI to upload it to) to run the laboratory, apparently again for the evil points? Finally, a protagonist with no memory, while an acceptable device in and of itself, is a lot clichéd; it sounds like a video game, especially the 'unable to speak' part. (This is typically done in video games to allow the player to project their own character onto the protagonist; a mute main character is highly atypical in other media.)

    All in all, not a good start. But fleshing out the CEO's motivations and the backstory behind the daughter could make that interesting, while developing the connection that the protagonist has to this company could lead to interest, particularly if you made his sedation and confinement something personal rather than "we need a test subject lol" or "supersoldiers lol".

    Remember, characters, not plot, make the story worthwhile.
    Last edited by Delphinus; 04-23-2011 at 08:33 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn
    You forgot your F in Modesty.

  4. #4
    Teen Member Meiguo's Avatar
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    If he cannot speak, How will he interact with other characters?

  5. #5
    Fifty Fifty Member Evil_Cake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClockHand View Post
    Resident Evil Movie.
    yeah...

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