This is why people should beat their kids.
I'm surprised people pick on games when movies like 'Hostel' and 'Saw' exist.
Wtf are these people on?
Or they could, y'know, just beat their kids... BTW, that was a joke response. I honestly hate the games vs. bad parenting debate. Anything is a scapegoat for bad parenting these days. Just nobody wants to fucking own up and take responsibility for their misguided kids. Personal responsibility is like a thing of the past.
But, in all honesty, I don't understand the current fear of corporal punishment. I blame our current generation's lack of responsibility on excessive hand-holding and lenience.
You guys know there's violence in a lot of books, right.
i wake up every morning and brush my teeth with rainbows after i piss excellence and wash my face with glory
And manga...mostly seinen. Reading a page of Tenjou Tenge, there were guts everywhere at one point.
"Positive reinforcement" is not a punishment. It barely qualifies as a means to counteract delinquency. But it does corroborate with my point that misbehavior in kids and teens stems from the fact that nobody realizes there are actual consequences to their actions anymore. We need to reinforce the concepts of cause and effect, especially when it comes to parenting. Kids need to know that they will get punished for their infractions, as that's how the REAL WORLD works. Positive reinforcement serves to do nothing but shelter kids from the very real idea that, if you piss the wrong people off, you will get your ass kicked. And, TBH, I'd rather it be me doing the ass kicking than some stranger on the street.
Of course, corporal punishment doesn't entail BRUTALIZING your kids (which would be "monstrous" and "perverse"). But giving them a spank or a slap on the wrist to let them know they're doing something wrong is just tough love. Then you have the parents who are too afraid to straighten their kids out and, when something bad happens, they're quick to point fingers at games, music or friends because they're under the impression that they did everything //right//. What with their positive reinforcement, and their time outs, and their sending their kids off to their room (where they probably just sleep it off or masturbate). How could they have gone wrong?!
Well, how about the part where you didn't teach your kid the value of CONSEQUENCES, lady? A consequence is supposed to actually be detrimental, not something you can just shrug off. I know so many people who find "suspensions" and "detentions" laughable. It's just a day off school for them. That's because they don't have parents at home who are willing to administer the type of punishment that schools are legally barred from. Ask a boy whose parents hit him if he thinks detention is laughable. I value punishing someone for their wrongs over praising them for their rights. The real world, likewise, doesn't always reward you for your good deeds and selflessness is all-too-rare among our "positively reinforced" generation. It's dangerous to ingrain the idea that you will always be rewarded in the minds of our children. That just leaves them under the impression that the whole world is a charity and plants the seeds for manipulative behavior, selfishness and an overinflated sense of entitlement. Surely enough, you can give Bobby a candy every time he says Please and Thank You. But how does that guarantee he //will// say Please and Thank You? If anything, he'll just say it whenever he wants a candy. But then again, why would candy matter, right? He could just stuff his entire hand into the candy jar with complete impunity because there's nobody there to impose w/ some form of ACTUAL punishment.
Long rant short: Positive Reinforcement is a stupid idea. We need to prevent kids from doing wrong, not try to bribe them to do right. It's a horrible form of sheltering that contradicts the reality of the parent-child relationship. As a loving mentor, the parent is responsible for CONDITIONING the child not to do wrong or self-harmful deeds, as well as usher them into the real world. PR is //not// how the real world works. Sheltering is dangerous. Kids should be exposed to reality; the parents' role is to put it in context.
Last edited by CypressDahlia; 01-25-2011 at 04:59 AM.
^Very nice. But I disagree with the final statement.
Although I don't think physical punishment is really needed unless you are stopping them from hurting themselves (slap on the wrist so they don't put their hand on the oven, etc). What you need to do is take away priveleges. When adults do wrong they lose their rights and priveleges; so should children. The problem today is that parents are unwilling to spend the time actually enforcing the rules they set in place. This implies both positive and negative reinforcement. Bad acts and behavior = games, toys, dessert, etc. taken away. Good acts and behavior = a better chance of parents saying "yes" when a child asks for a toy, game, dessert, etc.
Positive reinforcement does exist in the real world. Hard work and good behavior CAN lead to promotions, rewards, recognition, even if it doesn't always. Kids need something to look forward to if they do the right thing, even if its just a thank you (you'd be surprised how much a kid can learn to value that). If it feels like the only reason to be good is to avoid punishments, they can grow up fearful.
A balance of reinforcement and punishment is best, IMHO.
Last edited by Fenn; 01-28-2011 at 06:37 PM.