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Thread: ~*Blue Dragon Stuff-Mostly cleavage, but some nudity*~

  1. #1
    Lucky Member Blue_Dragon's Avatar
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    ~*Blue Dragon Stuff-Mostly cleavage, but some nudity*~

    So I have some commissions I've been given, and I need help on the first character I actually completed. I know this is crap, so help if you can, please! I hate the mouth, I couldn't get it to look like the sketch.

    Blah.

    Here's the sketch:



    Inked version--WIP



    I know the lines aren't all that neat...and the lips need work. What else can I work on before I either color it, or redo it?

    Lastly, I made some "thumb nails" at work in pen, so they're etchy, but is the design okay? Or should I work on something with their expressions? The girl's supposed to be pretty young, but determined and a little dejected. The dude's a mercenary (yeah, I spelled it wrong on the picture...make fun of me, it's cool. I can't spell.)



    Thanks for any suggestions!
    Last edited by Blue_Dragon; 10-29-2012 at 05:15 PM. Reason: Needed new title
    Website!: www.ceruleandreams.org
    Updated 4/6/13: Please Critique

  2. #2
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    As people have sayed above (no they haven't, thats the point of the ironic joke of MT), you need to work in proportions, depthness and line art.

    As we can see analizing the first draw, the head is to big, the boobs position doesn't match with the boob silhouette in the cloth and the hand thats try to do a depth effect with the wand/staff fail in the intent.

    In the line art of the same draw, we see the same problems, but in this case we also can see a lack of control over the lines.

    So the deal is simple: work with proportions, work with depthness and work in your line arts.


    I hate to gave critics on MT, but no one said something to you, so yeah.

  3. #3
    Moderator Psy's Avatar
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    I call it many names. The two that seem to be most accurate tho are "Hell" and "Work".
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    In the sketch you can see her leg under her cloak/dress but it vanished in the line art. Her head is to big but she is allso to short. The dress/cloak looks really heavy so be moving around that much in ( sweaty ). The other arm is hiding and im actually really curious what its doing? Her ponytail is far off to her left (our right) so it looks like its coming out of the side of her head instead of the back of her head (i once knew a girl who had two ponytails that were wraped like that and stuck straight out the back of her head about a foot each. she was chinese and her mom made her wear it like that when she was in trouble cuz she said it hurt).
    the bent leg looks oddly short and like its missing. I think the fur has a bit to much detail and just starts looking busy in some places.I allso think you should vary the line weight more. I hope i dont sound mean or hard but its what i see.

  4. #4
    Lucky Member Blue_Dragon's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone so far for the suggestions. I can see all the mistakes with your help (well, I knew some where, there, but it's hard to place without others' help, right?) I'm really irritated with the lines: I haven't used a pen in so long (I've been using mechanical pens...which aren't the same as ink and all.) I need some lessons in line weight.

    Any more suggestions are welcome! I think I'm gonna just have to completely redo this one. I want her in a more dynamic pose, too. Epic fail Just got to keep trying!
    Website!: www.ceruleandreams.org
    Updated 4/6/13: Please Critique

  5. #5
    - Don't avoid hands.
    - Legs too short.
    - Hair needs to flow better in the digital copy, use sharper smooth pen strokes.



    - Ear should not come before the jawline, but after it.

  6. #6
    Lucky Member Blue_Dragon's Avatar
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    Wow! Thanks you guys for the suggestions. I tried to take it all into account when I redid it. I'm still in draft mode...but here's what I got now.


    I tried to take everyone's advice into account.

    --tried to work on proportions, especially the head
    --made a more dynamic pose, since it's an RPG battle character I'm working on
    --in the inked version, tried to have more control over thickness and stability
    --tried to make the robe look heavier, and didn't add unnecessary clutter to fur
    --put ear behind jaw line (I should have known that! I'm so ashamed!)
    --tried to make ponytail look more natural and positioned correctly
    --drew both hands

    *I think that's all the suggestions I got. You can't really tell how tall she is here...but I hope I at least got the upper legs the right length.



    I have already since made a few changes to this...but this is the sketch. I try to keep her body outline predominate in the sketch so I know how to put the clothing around it, but you'll notice the inked version is less detailed (she's a priestess, so the dude doesn't want her naked though I thin she'd look better that way ) I actually feel the sketch is better than the ink job I did, which follows:


    *I spelled scepter wrong in drawing...grr...I suck at life.*

    I know I still need a lot of work, and I really appreciate everyone who commented and helped me get further. Keep it coming! (please)
    Last edited by Blue_Dragon; 04-01-2011 at 05:13 AM.
    Website!: www.ceruleandreams.org
    Updated 4/6/13: Please Critique

  7. #7
    Senior Member nisaren's Avatar
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    I like this sketch a lot better than the first one you did of her. It's a pretty complex piece when you take perspective and how the body is moving. I took the liberty to do a quick red-line of the sketch you did just to show a few of my points.



    If you can't understand my handwriting, my main points were the following:

    • Give more of an upper arm to her right (our left) arm
    • Decrease the size of her shoulders to make her a little more feminine
    • Make her right (our left) foot smaller in accordance with the perspective of the piece
    • Reverse the curve that is going over her left (our right) hip so it takes into account the shape of the thigh lifting up
    • The eyes and other facial features would look better if they were moved downwards. Eyes are supposed to be located halfway between the top of the head and the chin. But this may be a style issue.


    At any rate, hope this helps.

  8. #8
    Im gonna expand on what Nisaren already covered.

    One thing that I like is that you went for perspective! And A perspective that I like! 8D So bravo for taking a dip dive! Another thing I like is the way you drew the hair.

    Now,
    The main problem with the piece is that you've covered up most of the content of the image, making it look relatively dull, and unappealing. For instant, look at the sketch and the line art. In the sketch, you can very well see the legs, which really makes the image interesting as there were content to see, but in the line work, you have block this with her coat. So instead, you get a big blop of emptiness. To fix this, you can actually push the coat back, to reveal more of her legs.



    - I also find her head was a little big.

    Hopefully this red line will give you an idea C:

    Keep it up!

  9. #9
    Lucky Member Blue_Dragon's Avatar
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    Dude! You guys totally rock! I really appreciate the red lines, and I'm glad to get more suggestions! I will definitely take this into account when I redo it (I hope I don't copy too much---but I'm gonna really try to mimic what I see!)

    I'll get back to work, but feel free to keep commenting! I need it!
    Website!: www.ceruleandreams.org
    Updated 4/6/13: Please Critique

  10. #10
    Lucky Member Blue_Dragon's Avatar
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    Okay, so I'm gearing up to color my DnD character, Myfanwy (My-Fawn-wee) and I just want to know which one looks better proportioned, and if there's anything major I need to touch up. One is still in pencil, cause it's a redraw. I don't want to ink it if people think the finished one is better.



    Please help! I wanna get this done soon so I can start on other images I'll eventually try to fix up my other drawings and re-post them here, too (but...that may be a while.)


    This is the first revision



    This is the "revision" I did, but I'm not sure if her head is too small...which one's better? Thanks!
    Website!: www.ceruleandreams.org
    Updated 4/6/13: Please Critique

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