~*Blue Dragon Stuff-Mostly cleavage, but some nudity*~

[Blue_Dragon]

So I have some commissions I've been given, and I need help on the first character I actually completed. I know this is crap, so help if you can, please! I hate the mouth, I couldn't get it to look like the sketch.

Blah.

Here's the sketch:



Inked version--WIP



I know the lines aren't all that neat...and the lips need work. What else can I work on before I either color it, or redo it?

Lastly, I made some "thumb nails" at work in pen, so they're etchy, but is the design okay? Or should I work on something with their expressions? The girl's supposed to be pretty young, but determined and a little dejected. The dude's a mercenary (yeah, I spelled it wrong on the picture...make fun of me, it's cool. I can't spell.)



Thanks for any suggestions!