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Thread: GALACTIC

  1. #1
    Devilish Member Slurpee's Avatar
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    Cool GALACTIC

    Ugh finally after doing so much stuff I finally got myself a first page. YES. I hope I get neater as I go long. This is a long term project btw, and I have the end written out and everything. Just gottta draw it all out.
    Summary: Ace and his teammates are Galaxy Defenders. They defend all 24 galaxies without taking their drop seriously.
    Contains some bad jokes, but no nudity. Mostly Comedy and Action.

  2. #2
    Bad Enough Dude to Rescue the President Kodos's Avatar
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    You kinda have to make that bigger. Some of the text, like that third panel in the box, is literally impossible to read at this resolution :O

    Do you like big boobs? Dragons? Ninja? Martial arts? Wizards? Then click here and make all your wildest dreams come true!!

  3. #3
    Devilish Member Slurpee's Avatar
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    Okay. thanks. I'll try re-uploading them at 300.
    And now... page TWO. sorry about the whole word size thing, I'll re upload this later.

  4. #4
    One Thousand Member JJJorgie's Avatar
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    I'm not really a writer, but here are some things I've noticed:
    The two pages don't seem to go together at all and some parts need to be explained better. Like what's with the girl's mind reading powers? Why can't she control them? It's just a kind of confusing thing made worse by the fact that the order you have to read the dialogue changes. I thought the spaceship was a crack in space at first. It doesn't look very functional or ship-like. What is the girl supposed to "pay attention" to?

    Basically, the whole thing just seems like a mashup of different plot points. Some different parts seem that they'll make an interesting story, but they need a better intro and more thought to them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Demonfyre View Post
    She has spoken and so we must obey!

  5. #5
    Devilish Member Slurpee's Avatar
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    Yes you're right. Maybe I should give more thought to all of this before drawing it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Yes you're right. Maybe I should give more thought to all of this before drawing it. I honestly wrote out the script and everything.. but when it came to putting it on computer and planning the thumbnails I rushed it. I'll do these pages over.
    Last edited by Slurpee; 06-10-2013 at 09:16 PM.

  6. #6
    One Thousand Member Regantor's Avatar
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    Yeah. The humor was okay, but I think just rushing things to get it done it one of the worst downfalls that we are all guilty of. If you are having trouble with the pacing, one "thing" being the focus of each page is generally a good idea, wither that is a plot point, a joke, or an action taking place. And you don't have to have speech in every panel, either. Just a person looking annoyed can say alot.

    Either way, I do think you have potential. :3

  7. #7
    Devilish Member Slurpee's Avatar
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    Exclamation Back from the dead

    I'm back from the dead. And with a new lime flavor as well.Think I've slightly improved, but only in the inking department.

    Is it okay to update this thread... or should I make a new one? I'm not really sure if I'm necroing a thread but this isn't locked....
    ANYWAY, I redid everything, wrote a plot, the whole nine yards and I'm starting from the beginning with a new page.


    Galactic: CH 1 PG 1 by ~V3raD on deviantART
    Attached Images Attached Images
    • File Type: jpg 1.jpg (59.4 KB, 4 views)

  8. #8
    Devilish Member Slurpee's Avatar
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    Oh shit, look page 2.

    Galactic: CH 1 pg 2 by V3raD on deviantART

  9. #9
    Fifty Fifty Member Evil_Cake's Avatar
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    hard to judge after just two pages, but keep em coming. improvement is p much guaranteed after a while, as long as u try your best and believe.

    and get helpful critiques or comments (unlike this one : \ )

  10. #10
    Devilish Member Slurpee's Avatar
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    That's the most helpful comment I've gotten, seriously. Most of the time I get is stuff like
    "Neat".
    "that's pretty"
    or
    "His face is off".

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