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Thread: Cyberspace Delusion Chapter 1 (Doodle Story)

  1. #1
    Junior Member scanten71-402san's Avatar
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    Cyberspace Delusion Chapter 1 (Doodle Story)

    Author: Ray Scanten
    Rating: Low PG
    Genre: Drama, adventures
    Characters: Sean, Haru

    Sean, a 11 years old boy from United States, wanted to find friends from overseas. He wanted to join Facespace, a social network that a friend have recommended. But when joining Facespace, registration revoked due to underage. He began surfing in the Internet. He has found a Russian social network Vkontakte, but he did not understand Russian. He speaks only English. He has copied the rule which prohibits children under 13 from joining Facespace, and after 1 hour surfing he has found that it is because of worldwide international law, which is designed to protect children from pedophiles and themselves. But Sean knows about pedophiles and has a special power against pedophiles. But he got frightening and began crying. Then he began searching websites for his age - nothing found. He wanted to join ICQ, but registration revoked again. But after 5 minutes of thinking he decided to use incorrect birthdate or not to use it. He joined ICQ successfully without a birthdate. He searched 6 hours a IM-pal for his age - nothing has found. He began crying more and decided to sleep. After 215 days of sleeping he saw that 2 contacts have added him. First was spam bot. But he used his special attack power against spam and pedophiles, and spambot disappeared. The second was anonymous. He added him. Then, after 60 days, anonymous contact said: "Konnichi wa!". He answered in his non-fluent Japanese. Then, after 1 hour of chatting, he has discovered that this anonyomus contact was Haru, a 10 years old Japanese girl. Sean was nervous and sleepy. When he slept, he in his bitter and strange dreams saw Haru. Haru has chilled and calmed Sean and told him that she had same problems and parents always disallowed her to use Internet chat services and computer at all, but her grandfather allowed and was a big computer scientist. So Sean and Haru are now true friends. Then they have began a virtual family, which was not same as teens make, and was based on this true and real friendship and sympathy. They could not part each other. But, after one month, Haru needs to fly to one lonesome island in Pacific Ocean. After Haru's departure, Sean began crying and scratching walls. After watching repeatedly the post with the rule which prohibits children under 14 using IM and chat services due to protection of them from pedophiles and themselves, he cried more and more, and once upon a time his nose began bleeding. Sean spent without Haru 65 days. But when he had received a parent's slap and was closed in the dark room without computers, he after 1 hour saw Haru. She brang Sean a new modern PC with wireless high-speed Internet connection. And they with the PC have teleported to Japan, to the upmost floor of the skyscraper in Tokyo. They found a website, which provides an e-pal service to children of all ages, and had smiled. Sean have trained Haru his special atack against cyberbullying, and they are now in infinite friendship and love.

    Nota Bene: It is just a delusion of a drunk smoker, but I wrote this story. I hope you will not like it.

  2. #2
    Please change the name of the Character Sean.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Seiko's Avatar
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    Is this a story about you? Cause it sounds a lot like your welcome post.

    But Sean knows about pedophiles and has a special power against pedophiles.
    What's the relevence of this?

    . But he got frightening and began crying
    Why?

    So Sean and Haru are now true friends. Then they have began a virtual family, which was not same as teens make, and was based on this true and real friendship and sympathy.
    What the Christ?

    But, after one month, Haru needs to fly to one lonesome island in Pacific Ocean.
    Why would she do this?

    . But when he had received a parent's slap and was closed in the dark room without computers, he after 1 hour saw Haru. She brang Sean a new modern PC with wireless high-speed Internet connection. And they with the PC have teleported to Japan, to the upmost floor of the skyscraper in Tokyo. They found a website, which provides an e-pal service to children of all ages, and had smiled. Sean have trained Haru his special atack against cyberbullying, and they are now in infinite friendship and love.
    WHAT THE


  4. #4
    Junior Member scanten71-402san's Avatar
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    No, it is not about me.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Seiko's Avatar
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    Could you answer the other questions please?

  6. #6
    Junior Member scanten71-402san's Avatar
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    He got frightening and began crying because he saw the post about the law, which prohibites children from using chats and IM.
    Sean and Haru are true friends because they had the same problem - they could not chat with each other due to they are underage.
    Haru needed to fly to the lonesome island in the Pacific Ocean because she had a vacation.

    . But when he had received a parent's slap and was closed in the dark room without computers, he after 1 hour saw Haru. She brang Sean a new modern PC with wireless high-speed Internet connection. And they with the PC have teleported to Japan, to the upmost floor of the skyscraper in Tokyo. They found a website, which provides an e-pal service to children of all ages, and had smiled. Sean have trained Haru his special atack against cyberbullying, and they are now in infinite friendship and love.
    All Sean's parents altogether disallowed him to chat. They saw him nearby PC and have detected that he is chatting. That is because he received a slap. They teleported to Japan because, first, Haru had a teleporting ability, second, Sean needs to evade his parents.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Seiko's Avatar
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    Haru needed to fly to the lonesome island in the Pacific Ocean because she had a vacation.
    Why would she go on a 65 day holiday to a lonesome island?

    They teleported to Japan because, first, Haru had a teleporting ability, second, Sean needs to evade his parents.
    Soooooo what's the deal with the powers? Does everyone have powers or what? Why did they teleport to a skyscraper? And what on earth is a special attack against cyber-bullying?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Superdooperphailmachine
    Please change the name of the Character Sean.
    Also, consider this.

  8. #8
    999 Knights Member Regantor's Avatar
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    There is something wrong with you guys, this sounds like the most epic story ever written to me. I don't think anything containing pedophiles yet rated "low PG" is a piss take at all.

    I can only assume that Sean gained his powers from having a rediculous number of parents, them being all of them altogether.

    There should be an added plot line where either the FBI or some kind of ICQ age protection force come and lay combats on Sean for breaking their holy internet laws.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Seiko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Regantor View Post
    There should be an added plot line where either the FBI or some kind of ICQ age protection force come and lay combats on Sean for breaking their holy internet laws.
    This must be included in chapter 2

  10. #10
    Junior Member scanten71-402san's Avatar
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    She would go on a 65 day vacation to lonesome island because she did not have plans for moving elsewhere except this island.
    Haru and Sean used their powers using a portable teleportator in Haru's cell phone..
    A special attack against cyberbullying, spambots and pedophiles is the one of Sean's powers.

    The whole story is incomplete, but if I can, I will try to complete the second part of chapter 1.

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