Hello guys. I'm new here and a 'lil nervous sharing a manga idea I've been writing as a hobby. Anyways check it out! Looking for constructive criticism, since there's a few areas that I'm weak in. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the first chapter. Read away!

Title: Hunter academy

Synopsis: Living in resentment of his mother for kicking him out of her house, August James is forced to find work, and live alone. The town he's living in is under threat from mysterious dark creatures, but August soon discovers an organisation that deals with these monstrosities! The Dark Hunters!

Genre: Action, adventure, drama, comedy, fantasy, romance

Rating: Teen for mild language.

This manga is written in script format! Apologies for everything sticking to the left, I guess this site doesn't accept source formatting!

Chapter 1: Me, my sword and I

SPOILER! :


BLACK PANEL


NARRATIVE
They exist to maintain the balance
of light and dark.


NARRATIVE
A conflict beginning since the
birth of spiritual energy.


NARRATIVE
And today the rays of light shine
on a new face!


EXT. DERELICT FLAT - DAY


Morning sunlight is pouring in through a dirty, stained
cracked window. Birds are chirping nearby.


INT. DERELICT FLAT - ROOM - DAY


The light rays are focusing on the head of a dark haired
teenager.


Near to his bed is an alarm radio which reads 08:59AM. As it
hits 09:00AM a radio station starts playing.


NEWSREADER MALE
Good morning, this is Sunrise radio
the best sound to wake up to in the
morning! We hope you’re all awake
and ready to start the day!


The male shuffles getting up slowly out of bed, his face
looks drained. The radio is now going over the news.


NEWSREADER FEMALE
And in further news this morning,
we are still having reports of
unusual sightings of the black
creatures emerging unexpectedly out
of nowhere.


The male stands up eying the radio with a nonplussed
expression.
NEWSREADER FEMALE
So far there have been over 30
casualties. People are warned to
take care when venturing outside,
and to avoid cordoned areas until
further information can be given.


NEWSREADER MALE
Thank you Marie, and now on to the
weather with Jonathan Blake.


The male leaves the room heading to a closet in the dusty
hallway. He opens it revealing a sheathed katana on a stand
which he straps around his back.


He heads back to his room booting up his computer, the main
desktop is shown as he browses the web to check his emails.


He scans over them and frowns realising there is no new
mail. He turns the computer off and leaves the house.


EXT. HIGH STREET - DAY


The teenage male arrives outside a familiar grocery shop, he
walks in to meet the owner a rather large man with stubble
and a stained apron.


OWNER
Oh you again! Sorry kid still no
jobs!


MALE
Do you know if any will show up?


OWNER
Have you been checking online? You
do realise everything is done by
machines these days!


MALE
I’ve been checking, but nothing
still, and not a single email!


OWNER
Hm sorry there lad, come back and
try again next week why don’t you?


The male sighs and leaves the shop back into the blazing hot
outdoors.


Suddenly a ringtone plays from his pocket, he takes a cheap
mobile phone out and answers.


VOICE O.S
(loudly)
Oi loser good morning!


MALE
(holding the phone away
briefly)
You again ‘sis! What do you want?


SISTER
I want to know if you’ve got a job
yet? Or is your broke ass still
lazing around in that crapshack
flat of yours?


MALE
I’m trying okay? Look you know it’s
not my fault!


SISTER
It so is! You’re the one who was
kicked out for the summer holidays,
you did nothing in that house, just
sleep eat and crap all the time!


He grunts loudly continuing to walk.


SISTER
So are you ready for inspection?


MALE
The fuck you on about? You can't
come to my house, you have no
permission!


SISTER
Says who? I could turn up right now
if I wanted to! And watch your
language kid!


MALE
Too bad you wouldn’t find anyone at
home.


SISTER
Oh I forgot, too busy wishing you
had a job to pay your rent!
(laughing) You could always live
with me!


MALE
Screw that.


SISTER
Well then, you get a job now okay?
Got to take care of yourself, being
17 and all! Bye bye now!


She hangs up as he puts his phone away heading to the local
park.


As he sits on a bench, a group of kids rush over to an ice
cream van nearby.


He watches sweating as he dips his hand into his pocket. He
feels around but pulls out a dirty grey lining.


he sighs and sits back fanning himself as the sun glares
down on him above.


ICE CREAM MAN
(waving to children)
Thank you! Come again!


The dark haired teen continues sitting but suddenly hears a
rustle behind him. He hears it again then hears a dog
barking loudly.


He gets up and sees the dog barking at a small bush


MALE
Crazy mutt!


He looks closer however, and notices the bush shaking
slightly.


A cream coloured fox with large ears pops out from the bush
running from the dog who barks menacingly at it.


MALE
Hey stop bullying the poor animal!


FOX
Gii! Gii!


The dog continues barking as the fox stays near the
teenager's feet. He shoos the dog away and it eventually
leaves.


MALE
You okay?


He holds it up observing it closely noticing how small it is
in his hands comparing to a puppy.


MALE
Hehe your ears are cool!


He strokes one with a finger and the fox paws at it. It
looks up at him at he puts it back down.


MALE
I wish I could, but I can’t keep
pets, I’m too broke. The landlord
probably wouldn't allow it either.


He sighs and turns away sadly from the fox walking away.


FOX
Giii!


He looks down noticing it is clinging on to his ankle.


MALE
Huh? You wanna stay? Okay I guess
while we’re out it couldn’t hurt.


He picks it up and tucks it into his beige strap bag facing
the front.


MALE
Let's go!


The duo head down a narrow path with not many people around.
It is more shaded due to the trees above.


MALE
(smiling)
I’m James, August James!


The fox tilts its head at him.


AUGUST
Yeah I know, sounds weird right?


It continues to stare at him rarely blinking.


AUGUST
I wonder what your name is?


He searches for a name tag or collar, but it has none.


AUGUST
Oh you’re a girl? I see.


Caption: It's not that hard to tell.


FOX
Gii!


August chuckles as she pulls her ears down over her eyes,
she lets go and they spring back up making him laugh again.


AUGUST
You're funny!


They cross a bridge over a lake, but August shivers.


AUGUST
Oi it’s gotten cold all of a
sudden!


FOX
Gii! Gii!


A slight eerie wind picks up as temperatures suddenly drop.


AUGUST
What? What’s going on?


The wind picks up making the trees rustle. He hears a loud
rumble before noticing a puddle of black liquid bubbling up
from the soil.


The puddle gets larger and a figure rises up from it forming
into a large black creature. Two slits on its face open up
to reveal a pair of blood red eyes.


AUGUST
Crap it’s them!


He removes the bag placing the fox somewhere safe.


The creatures mouth splits open bearing a sharp toothed
grin. It strikes at August, but he turns and draws his
weapon.


By luck he blocks with the sword, but the blow makes him
struggle.


The monster pushes him back and he hits the ground hard.


It punches at him again and he blocks, however the recoil
makes him drop his weapon. The creature grins menacingly
sending him flying as it swipes August with its paw.


August crashes into a bench trying to get up quickly.
Already the creature is advancing on him. It towers above
August about to deal the killing blow.


FOX
Gii! Gii!


The fox is standing between August and the creature.


AUGUST
Oi what are you doing? Get back
you’ll be killed!


FOX
GIIIII!


Her fur begins to glow bright yellow as a gust of wind kicks
up around her.


Her eyes glow also as his sword begins to shake. He picks it
up feeling a surge of energy travel down his arm.


AUGUST
Whoa! What is this light?


The fox glows brighter and there is a flash of yellow as it
merges into an orb of pure light.


August panics as it fuses with the blade of his sword
casting a glow all over.


He continues to feel the strange energy surge inside him as
the sword stops glowing.


August looks amazed noticing the pattern of the blade has
changed to an orange and black flame design going down from
the tip.


AUGUST
What is this?


The creature responds to the sudden shift advancing on
August again.


August grits his teeth looking up at it feeling more
determined.


The creature punches at him but he avoids it and swings. Its
hand falls coming clean off dissipating into thin air.


It recoils but August goes at it. The creature uses its
remaining arm to block the sword back and attack.


The creature slams its fist into the ground trying to crush
August. He avoids it and leaps at the creature who is well
open.


AUGUST
What!? Since when could I jump so
high?


He sails at speed towards the creature gripping his sword
tight before slashing wide across its chest.


It falls backwards crashing to the ground and August lands
on it stabbing through its chest.


Black liquid spurts everywhere from the wound and the
creature's red eyes die out before it dissipates completely.


He stands on the ground looking closely at the sword
observing the pattern.


FOX
Gii!


He drops it in shock and it starts glowing again. An orb of
light lifts from the blade changing back into the fox.


The light fades and she sits there looking up at him.


AUGUST
Hey it's you again!


August notices the blade has gone back to its original bland
design.


AUGUST
So you were in there? But how!?


She pats the sword with her paw as August picks her up. He
sheathes his sword and walks over to put her back in the
bag.


AUGUST
That just now when you were in
there. That energy I felt, what was
it?


He touches his chest and feels a rather strange pulse, but
not like his heartbeat.


Up above in the canopy of trees a girl is dashing from
branch to branch.


GIRL
Come on, come on where are you?


She leaps another branch looking down at the ground below.


GIRL
I can’t feel anything Yuno, are you
sure it’s here?


YUNO O.S
I felt it before, but it seems the
energy has dissipated.


GIRL
Wait! Someone purged it already?
Who could have done that?


She pauses on a branch for a while.


GIRL
Hold up, I sense another. Straight
down there!


She leaps down in front of someone and turns to meet a
scruffy looking August giving her a shocked look.


The girl is dressed beautifully in blue dress and black
stockings. Her long matching sky coloured hair flows around
her body gracefully.


AUGUST
(thinking)
Whoa she's pretty.


GIRL
Hey who are you?


She leans forward demanding an answer, but then she notices
he has a katana and a cream coloured fox tucked in his bag.


GIRL
Huh? He’s one of them. Yuno it
looks just like you!


YUNO
Hmm?


Her backpack flips open and a similar looking blue fox pops
his head out. He has smaller ears.


AUGUST
Ah a talking fox! I-It just talked.
Hey get away from that thing it’s
dangerous!


August pushes her away making her fall as the fox leaps onto
the ground.


GIRL
What are you doing creep!?


She covers her chest with her arm as the blue fox comes
close to her.


YUNO
How dare he? I’m not dangerous at
all.


AUGUST
Just what is going on here?


The girl stands up abruptly


GIRL
Who are you, and what academy are
you from?


She narrows her bright red eyes at him.


GIRL
Hm no emblem either, got anything
Yuno?


YUNO
(looking at his claws)
Nope he's just a blank!


GIRL
Do you have a liscense to use that
thing?


AUGUST
What do you mean?


GIRL
Your sword you dummy, how can you
not know you need a liscence for
it?


August still looks confused.


GIRL
Just as I thought! A faker!


She looks away from him but he stares at her long, beautiful
blue flowing hair. August admires her more but he then
notices she's wearing a blue hat which is twitching.


AUGUST
Hey your hat is moving!


GIRL
Don't touch it!


She pulls her hat down her head and storms off.


GIRL
Ugh come on Yuno, before he does
anything creepy!


As she leaves he notices a blue katana sheath strapped to
her back.


AUGUST
Hey wait! That sword!


She ignores him and leaps high into the air amongst the
branches.


AUGUST
That's impossible!


August then remembers when he leapt high at the creature
before.


AUGUST
Wait come back! I have questions!


He takes after her and now realises he is somehow running
faster.


GIRL
What a creep, first he touches me
and then stares at me, honestly?


Yuno rests his chin on his paws


YUNO
No idea why he acted like that, but
I found something else peculiar.


GIRL
And that is?


YUNO
That's the exact same area where
the dark being was purged!


GIRL
WHAT? Wait what is that?


She senses something and looks down.


GIRL
Wait, is that?


AUGUST
Hey I want to talk to you!


August is down below having caught up with her still
running.


GIRL
Impossible! How is that freak
keeping up with me? He's a fake we
checked out!


YUNO
Maybe we should talk to him?


She decides to stop and drops down to his level. August
catches up without breaking a sweat.


AUGUST
(fidgeting with his hands)
I have to ask you something.


GIRL
You'd better not be coming onto me
faker!


AUGUST
No, your sword can I see it?


She turns sharply away from him.


GIRL
Nice try kid but you can’t. You
don’t even have a liscense!


AUGUST
Kid? I’m 17! And what is this
liscence crap!?


GIRL
You're definitely not a hunter!


AUGUST
A hunter?


GIRL
You ask too many questions!


AUGUST
Where are you heading?


Caption: He's not listening.


GIRL
Did you not just hear me creep!?


AUGUST
Your hat again!


GIRL
(pulling it down)
Oh no.


August reaches out to help.


GIRL
Don't touch me creepy pervert!


She lets go to push him away, but as she does her hat
springs off her head.


August looks in awe as a pair of cute, furry blue ears
twitch amongst her hair.


She blushes standing in silence as August continues to
stare.


AUGUST
They're real?


She squeaks and covers up her face but the blush is still
visible.


AUGUST
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult
you.


She remains mute as she snatches her hat from the ground,
and before August can say anything she storms off in a
hurry.


AUGUST
What was that about? And those
ears, is she even human?


The cream coloured fox pops her head out from the bag
looking up into his eyes.


AUGUST
Did you see that blue one? He could
talk, and since when were foxes
blue?


She blinks staring casually at him.


AUGUST
Well, can you talk too?


FOX
Gii!


AUGUST
(sweat drop)
Never mind!


She looks at him as his stomach rumbles.


AUGUST
Sadly I can't afford a meal.


He decides to leave the park.


INT.UNKNOWN BUILDING - DAY


A man with a barely visible face is standing at window, he
rubs his stubbly chin continuing to observe.


MAN
Seems there's another one out
there.


VOICE O.S
Are you sure?


MAN
I'm quite sure, it's been a while
since one has popped up, but he's
compatible alright!


VOICE O.S
So its found him?


MAN
(clenching fist)
Yes, the light has found him. Now
all we have to do is get him before
anyone else!


He turns to face the unseen person.


MAN
Send out a team, hurry!


VOICE O.S
Yes sir.