Practice Comic by ClockHand

[ClockHand]

Okay, this is a comic I made to practice the following things:
-Visual narrative (show don't tell).
-Action/combat panels.
-Page composition.
-Panels tempo.
-Must be more than 14 pages long.

























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[BunnyVoid]

nice so this is what show dont tell mean. its really expressive especially the silhouettes. color also compliments style. i wish i could color like that hehe...

thanks for sharing. now i don't have to look far to know what good tempo is.

[ClockHand]

Thanks.

Well, I'm not sure of the success of "show don't tell"; I guess we could make it more interactive, if people wish, try to tell what is going on (you tell the story). It would be a success if you can tell the story I tried to tell (I already did this with toast and worked, but lets see if it can be extended to more people). Also, it will be best if you use spoilers (so people don't get spoiled/biased when they try to tell the story of the comic).
Anyway, "show don't tell" is your narrative capacity of telling a story without dialogues, only through images.

Thanks, silhouettes were a mayor concern, because I was also trying some experimentations on the construction of characters, as they are never full detailed, but I only reveal a part of them in each panel. This is a little dangerous because if its done wrong the audience might get lost, and be like "wait, was this guy the other guy?". I don't know if I completely succeed (specially because I'm biased and I need other people observations), but if I did, cool. And colors, it was a mayor to minor relevance for me, like a day of discussion with toast about color pallet, because night light makes almost every blue so incorporating other colors is hard, and I wanted to add more warm colors for the action panels but I feel I didn't grasp it very well (the colors are some what dull and don't feel organic). Anyway, practice, practice, practice.

Again, thanks, hope you enjoy it, and everyone is welcome to write down the story you understood (on spoilers).

[Demonfyre]

I love the way you are able to tell a whole story without any use of speech and you didn't have to take up pages and pages, it's also surprisingly gripping it's great Clock

[Midori-Midori]

I don't know whether I interpreted this right, but either way it was beautiful.

SPOILER! :

My first impression, while reading this through, was that the man was some form of cowboy riding out with a woman who seems to be frightened/scared/weak. The man and woman seemed to be lovers, as he seemed to gently stroke her cheek before leaving to fight the other men who had had them trapped at a cliff. After that the battle sequence starts, the cowboy kills the first man and the then is killed by the second man, who seems to have been very angry at him or he was just more skilled.

(The part where the man with the cane holds out his hand and the woman takes his hand in tears was pretty eye-opening. That was where my mind flashed through so many possibilities and outcomes. I read it over again and got the impression that maybe the woman was forced to follow the cowboy, because the part where she cries is when showed us her facial expression. But i'm not sure so I'll stick to the first impression.)

So back to the first paragraph. The heartbroken woman was forced to go with the man who reached out to her and abandon the remains of her former lover.

Well that was really fun. Great job!
Oh and is she carrying a child? Or am I just seeing things?

[BunnyVoid]

SPOILER! :

Leading man is followed by henchmen under the full moon in the desert. He is with a woman, who i assumebelongs to another man who is connected to the henchmen. At onepoint, he decides that it is best to fight his pursuers instead of endlessly running away. The woman is worried but he tries to reassure her. He puuls out his sword And fights the men. He shows some skill and seem to have the upperhand at first. they exchange swords some more, naybe they exchange words too. they are arguing while fighting. His enemy must have mentioned something harsh. They both ready themselves for a final round. The leading man fails. The henchmen packs up and leave while the man with a cane connected to these henchmen approaches and claims the woman back. His death symbolize somehing. like the death of opposition to the abusers of wealth and power.

btw, i think the leadingman is recognizable despite the silhouettes. Hat and thehint of color helps. tho i think his sword can be used more to identify him throughout the fight... if the enemies had different design of swords it distinguishes him a bit more...

the nice thing about this comic is that reader is given freedom to think of the situation more. there is more attention given to the art at the same time plot is given more space to digest.

[Tetsu Yawl]

I think that's one of the best comics I've seen on MT in a while, really, the art and story are so well mixed it looks like a movie reading it Silence often mean more than words when well pictured. Anyhow I suggest making more shorts like this, it's pretty damn cool.

[CypressDahlia]

I like it. The only thing I would say is, though...don't...use "parry". I think it's rly awkward. You should just put a sound effect to signify that something of note is happening in that panel instead of outrightly saying what it is. It breaks the fourth wall.

[Tetsu Yawl]

What if there was no word, no sound at all? idunno im just pitching an idea here

[ClockHand]

I'm glad you guys liked it. Also I took notes about the problems (onomatopoeias) and some traits you guys gave to your "story telling" of the story, which are very interesting and I will have to give a time to analyze and see how to apply in a new comic (there is a lot of information from your guys feedback, so I'm going to be swallowing this slowly to see how to work on a next project).

At the moment I have no new script to work on (neither an idea), but I do want to approach Horror, as this practice placed me in a good (basic= ground about "show don't tell", so it will be logical to take "provocation" as the next goal.

Thanks for the feedback and glad you guys liked it. Also if someone feel to keep posting opinions or want to participate in "tell the story", you sure are welcome, any type of feedback, opinion or critic is necessary.