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Thread: SOTZ Concept by BunnyVoid

  1. #1
    Regular Member BunnyVoid's Avatar
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    Lightbulb SOTZ Concept by BunnyVoid

    Secret of the Zodiacs is the title of my manga. I draw inspiration from my love of Astrology, study of the soul, and usual scenes from several mangas, animes, and game plots which i adore.

    So I realized that the story was a bit too much to handle so I revised it. Thanks to clockhand for the suggestions. My plot is now summarized into a simpler form. I will focus on a more specific time frame. It will be titled: 'ACT ZERO - Origin of the S.O.T.Z.'. It focuses on the protagonists' early encounter with the Secret of the Zodiacs.


    ACT ZERO - Origin of the SOTZ


    PLOT THESIS:
    Prince Havel has to face his fear of his 'gift/disease' to uncover the first secret of the Zodiacs and save the Kingdom of Ozdica from Ophiuchus' wrath.

    CHARACTERS:
    • Havel Khevah is the story's main protagonist. He has this mysterious 'gift/disease' that absorbs other peoples' souls/soul energies.
    • Eve Khevah is the Queen of Ozdica and mother of Qayin and Havel.
    • Adan Khevah is the King of Ozdica and father of Qayin and Havel.
    • Qayin Khevah is the older brother of Havel.
    • Synn O'Donnor is Havel's loving mentor.
    • Seth Alsius is Qayin's mentor.
    • Ophiuchus is the story's main antagonist. He is the 13th Zodiac who happens to be very evil.

    SETTING: Palace of Eden, Kingdom of Ozdica, with time equivalent to 1800 AD
    PLACES:
    • Mother's Room
    • Havel's Room
    • Palace Main Hall
    • Palace Training Area
    • Guardian Headquarters
    • Isolation Prison is Qayin's mentor.
    • Dream State - SOTZ Gate

    PLOT:
    note: I have to apologize btw. I'm not too comfortable writing in narrative form so I just *crossesfingers hope that this would suffice...
    SPOILER! :
    1. Havel's mother becomes sick after childbirth because of Havel's rare power of absorbing soul energy. This disease makes her weak and eventually leads to her death. Despite that, she insists that she will take care of Havel despite the effects of his powers on her health. Havel witnesses her death. Her soul completely becomes a part of him and a symbol of Zodiac Cancer (pertaining to his mother's zodiac) appears on his body (like a tattoo).

    2. A lot of rumors surrounding her mother's death spread. King Adan and the Palace of Eden's effort in taking special measures to keep Havel's powers secret were insufficient. Havel (age 6) gets bullied by a group of children because of his uncontrollable 'gift' that absorbs other people's souls. Out of hate and sadness, he goes on berserk and attacks the group of children.

    3. His guardian mentor, Synn O'Donnor, is able to stop this by sacrificing himself. Before completely disintegrating into soul energy, he tells Havel that one day he will discover the purpose of his 'gift'.

    4. Qayin (age 13), Havel's lazy and laid back brother prince, witnesses this from a far. He suddenly felt like, he had to take care of Havel from now on. Qayin comforts Havel by promising to help him find a 'purpose' for his 'gift/disease'. Qayin introduces Havel to his master, Seth Alsius, and starts to train very hard with them. Qayin later becomes very sick because his interactions with Havel. His soul was very prone to Havel's 'gift'.

    5. Ophiuchus, the unrecognized 13th zodiac, is an evil Zodiac wishing to overthrow other Zodiacs by becoming king and controlling the kingdom of Ozdica. He overtakes Qayin's weak body (age 15) to fulfill his goal.

    6. One night, Adan becomes very sick because of a very terrible message from the Zodiacs. Havel (age 8) fears that this was caused by him. the 'evil' Qayin sets up Havel to give Adan a medicine, which was actually poison. Adan dies the next morning and Havel is put in an isolated prison.

    7. Meanwhile -- Seth, along with few but high ranking guardians, unveils Adan's knowledge of Ophiuchus and argue how this could have been Qayin's doing. Seth and few others plan to stop the prince' ascension to the throne.

    8. Havel meets fragments of the 'real' Qayin's soul. It tells him that there is something wrong with Qayin (dilemma of Ophiuchus). It wants him to confront 'evil' Qayin. Seth, who came to interrogate the prince, witnesses Havel's communication with Qayin's soul. After the apparition, he reveals himself to Havel and briefs him of the current goings in the palace. This confirms the message of the 'real' Qayin's soul. He mentions of plans to stop 'evil' Qayin's ascension, and asks for Havel's help.

    9. On the day of Qayin's coronation, several guardians took arms against him. While this was happening, Seth frees Havel from the isolation prison using his dimension ability. When they arrive at the main palace hall, Qayin has already defeated several of the Guardian soldiers using Ophiuchus' immense zodiac power.

    10. Seth is also defeated. Havel is the only one left to confront Qayin. He fears that he might kill his brother but suddenly fragments of the 'real' Qayin appears and encourages him. The soul recalls their promise and encourages Havel that this might be the right time.

    11. They battle for a while, with Havel barely surviving Qayin with his mothers Cancerian powers and his former mentor's Sagittarian powers protecting him. He eventually absorbs enough amounts of the 'evil' Qayin's soul energy. This enables him to see through Ophiuchus' secret (The fact that he is a false zodiac). Havel becomes completely exhausted. Both Cancer and Sagittarius soul energies are depleted. Ophiuchus self-destructs before Havel completely uncovers Ophiuchus' secret (password to defeat him: FALSE ZODIAC).

    12. Despite gaining insight of the secret, Havel is thrown a back by Ophiuchus' powers. Seth, now conscious, traps him in a dimensional prison, and escapes.

    13. Everything suddenly restarts up to the morning of Qayin's coronation. Everything go smoothly, with Seth and Havel absent from all the events. Some issues are left lingering: Is King Qayin is the real or the evil Qayin? Was Ophiuchus really dead? etc.etc.


    OTHER SPECIFICATIONS:
    • Type of Manga: Fantasy, Action, Drama
    • Estimated number of Chapters: 5-8
    • Estimated number of Pages per Chapter: 10-15
    • Read: From left to right
    • Workflow / Estimated Time of Completion:
    • Character, Place, and Plot Conception - 1-2 months
    • Thumbnailing - 1 week
    • Concept art will be released
    • Inking of first 2 chapters - 2-4 weeks
      1st chapter posted online by the end of this process
    • Inking of next 2 chapters - 2-4 weeks
      2nd chapter posted online while this process is going
      3rd chapter posted online by the end of this process
    • Inking of next 2 chapters - 2-4 weeks
      4th chapter posted online while this process is going
      5th chapter posted online by the end of this process
    • Inking of next 2 chapters - 2-4 weeks
      6th chapter posted online while this process is going
      7th chapter posted online by the end of this process
    • Bonus colored material is produced - 1 week
    • Last chapter is posted

    TENTATIVE DATE OF RELEASE: February to March

    hopefully this would work...
    Last edited by BunnyVoid; 10-02-2012 at 03:28 PM. Reason: REVISED
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  2. #2
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    As I see each act is going to consist of too many pages and if it takes too many pages (or too much time for audience to read), you might get lost them through all the introductions you have to make. So, if the case is that there is too much background story going on, you can pick one character and narrate the story from his/her perspective on a local point that start the "call of adventure". You could use something quite used as placing Eira entering the Academy and then meeting Havel or Seth or what ever, and those characters create the "call of adventure", being the academy (or outside of it, depending how you tell the story), "the ordinary world".

    With this you can uncover the background story through raccontos, flashbacks, flash forwards and so on. And bring the action quicker to the story and a better passing. Also with all this said, I would change the plot to fit in the narrative form so it would be easier for us to understand what is going on.


    Now I have to make some questions. Have you ever done (finished) a comic book before (including one shots)? Have you read anything about comic book composition and narrative? Have you ever made a management of time on single comic strips to understand the amount of time and energy you might need? I'm asking this because the project is bold, it has 500 pages (it can be reduced) and if you have no experience I would recommend you to work on a one shot and let the big long stories for later ones you have experience and your ideas have growth and fermented.

    PD: There is always 1 antagonist. I have had this discussion before, people saying there is possible to exist 2 antagonist, which for me is wrong. As there is always one entity (it can be just fate or gods) that pull the triggers and so its the real antagonist on the story. And the same goes for the protagonist, there is always one protagonist on the story, even so this can be diffusive as game of throne or other novels have proved, but there is always one protagonist, and I think its better you stick with one, so the narrative forme get more consistent.
    Last edited by ClockHand; 09-27-2012 at 12:29 AM.

  3. #3
    Regular Member BunnyVoid's Avatar
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    Wow, quick reply. I must thank you for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by ClockHand View Post
    As I see each act is going to consist of too many pages and if it takes too many pages (or too much time for audience to read), you might get lost them through all the introductions you have to make. So, if the case is that there is too much background story going on, you can pick one character and narrate the story from his/her perspective on a local point that start the "call of adventure". You could use something quite used as placing Eira entering the Academy and then meeting Havel or Seth or what ever, and those characters create the "call of adventure", being the academy (or outside of it, depending how you tell the story), "the ordinary world".

    With this you can uncover the background story through raccontos, flashbacks, flash forwards and so on. And bring the action quicker to the story and a better passing. Also with all this said, I would change the plot to fit in the narrative form so it would be easier for us to understand what is going on.
    That's exactly a bit like my idea.
    In ACT 0, Seth is protagonist because narration comes from him. (Havel is support character but story revolves around him, Eira still unborn)
    In ACT 1, Eira is protagonist because narration comes from her. (Havel and Seth are both antagonist from her point of view, but it highlights the fact that Havel is vengeful, vicious and desperate about the secrets of the zodiacs)
    In ACT 2, Havel is protagonist (Seth and Eira are support)
    In ACT 3, Havel is still protagonist (Seth and Eira are support)

    Quote Originally Posted by ClockHand View Post
    Now I have to make some questions. Have you ever done (finished) a comic book before (including one shots)? Have you read anything about comic book composition and narrative? Have you ever made a management of time on single comic strips to understand the amount of time and energy you might need? I'm asking this because the project is bold, it has 500 pages (it can be reduced) and if you have no experience I would recommend you to work on a one shot and let the big long stories for later ones you have experience and your ideas have growth and fermented.
    I might shorten it though... It was just a bit of an estimate... Thanks for the precaution.

    Well If books can be counted I could say I have finished about two books already... Unfortunately, those were for architecture school (about 80 to 100 pages each). It involved a lot of planning, illustration and design work, but mostly with 3d. Each of them took me 2 months to make, (which includes a lot of written analysis, lol. i mention this if it counts as a bonus)...

    Yes I think this project is a bit bold, but the boldness of a challenge inspires me. As soon as I grasp the characters, scenes, and places wholly in my head, i think its possible. I'll finish up all the character sheets, places, and items for reference of the story. When all the thinking is done, I can start drawing scenes. I think I could devise a workflow, like how i finished my two previous books.

    I have read a lot of articles about comic creations but I don't consider myself an expert. I plan to make thumbnail sketches for acts 0 and 1, from what i heard thumb-nailing don't take long. I think I could finish that in about a week, before project commences. I don't know how long inking would take me. They say that on average, a professional can make about 2 pages. Maybe at least, I could make 1-2 pages in two days, if all the thumbnails are done ahead of time.

    On the other hand, I think i can just convert ACT0 into a oneshot with about 40 pages. I think this would give me the feel of making manga... and maybe i could merge ACT 2 and ACT 3. Again, I have to thank you for the thought. This would probable half my page count to about 150 to 200.

    Btw, the timeline for my project spans about 10 mos... I think its plausible for a 200 page manga... what do you think?

    Quote Originally Posted by ClockHand View Post
    PD: There is always 1 antagonist. I have had this discussion before, people saying there is possible to exist 2 antagonist, which for me is wrong. As there is always one entity (it can be just fate or gods) that pull the triggers and so its the real antagonist on the story. And the same goes for the protagonist, there is always one protagonist on the story, even so this can be diffusive as game of throne or other novels have proved, but there is always one protagonist, and I think its better you stick with one, so the narrative forme get more consistent.
    Sorry if the list is confusing. I'll revise it...

    Overall the real antagonist is Ophiuchus (since he's controlling Qayin), and the real protagonist is Havel. The story revolves around their battle for the throne and acquisition of the secret of the zodiacs. Narration will come from a different person just to highlight the characteristics of Havel Khevah. I thought it would be quite boring if the story be told from Havel's point of view.

    I must thank you again for your reply.
    Last edited by BunnyVoid; 09-27-2012 at 02:57 AM. Reason: my post has error when exceeding some #?? of characters
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  4. #4
    Regular Member BunnyVoid's Avatar
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    Revised Character List

    Character list is revised

    CHARACTER LIST

    The following is a list of the characters of SOTZ. This is just a brief overview, not too much detail. Btw, I manage to put their Zodiac signs already so that I know the nature of their powers. I also incorporated Tarot card archetypes, so that i envision their role in the story. Arcanas are not mentioned in the story, its just for me to immediately recognize their role in the story. FYI, I based this on Persona 4's Arcana types and personalities.


    Protagonist
    Havel Khevah Main Protagonist, Narrator for ACT 2 and 3, Suitor (Eira) |
    Anti-hero | Arcana: Justice SCORPIO (w/o Eira's SOTZ), ALL ZODIACS (w/ Eira's SOTZ)
    Eira Seolfor Narrator for ACT1 | Willing Hero, Arcana: Fool| PISCES, none (w/ SOTZ activated)
    Seth Alsius Narrator for ACT2 | Catalyst Hero, Arcana: Hierophant | PISCES

    Antagonist
    Ophiuchus Main Antagonist | Arcana: Devil
    Qayin Khevah Puppet of Antagonist, Suitor (Eira) | Arcana: Emperor | OPHIUCHUS, ALL ZODIACS + OPHUICHUS (w/ Eira's SOTZ)

    Support Characters
    GUARDIAN ARMY OFFICERS
    General Vladimir Kovaleva Obstacle | Arcana: Judgement | LIBRA
    Major Titus Fiontan Obstacle, Support (Seth) | Arcana: Strength | ARIES
    Captain Luna Mizuki Obstacle, Support (Seth) | Arcana: Temperance | VIRGO
    Lleu Griffin Support (Seth) | Arcana: Star | LEO
    Penny Llaw Support (Seth) | Arcana: Fortune | GEMINI

    GUARDIAN ACADEMY FACULTY (also Army Members)
    Raiken O'Donnor Rival (Havel), Support (Eira) | Arcana: Magician | SAGGITARIUS
    Vyr Gates Support (Havel), Obstacle (Eira) | Arcana: Moon | AQUARIUS
    Victoria Larsen Obstacle | Arcana: Empress | CANCER

    GUARDIAN ACADEMY STUDENTS
    --CLASSMATES
    Aurora Rafferty Obstacle > Support | Arcana: Lovers | TAURUS
    Rex Gaasyendietha Obstacle > Support > Suitor (Eira) | Arcana: Sun | ARIES
    --BATCHMATES
    Magnum Ross Support | Arcana: Popes | SAGGITARIUS
    Skye Devitt Obstacle > Support | Arcana: Chariot | GEMINI
    --UPPERCLASSMEN/STUDENT COUNCIL
    Gustav Vasa Obstacle| Arcana: Tower | CAPRICORN
    Ruso Delano Obstacle > (Eira) | Arcana: Death | SCORPIO

    Diseased Characters (in order of death)
    Synn O'Donnor - | SAGGITARIUS
    Former mentor of the princes. He was accidentally killed by Havel Khevah.
    King Adan Khevah Arcana: Hanged Man | VIRGO (w/o ring) ALL ZODIACS (w/ ring)
    Havel Khevah was framed by his brother Qayin Khevah into poisoning King Adan.
    Fuyuki Seolfor Arcana: Priestess | CANCER
    Died during birth of Eira Seolfor.
    George Maksim Arcana: Hermit | TAURUS
    Havel Khevah kills him to take steal his identity, memories, personality, and abilities.

    Special/ Summoned Characters

    • Aries - Fire
    • Taurus - Earth
    • Gemini - Wind
    • Cancer - Water
    • Leo - Fire
    • Virgo - Earth
    • Libra - Wind
    • Scorpio - Water
    • Sagittarius - Fire
    • Capricorn - Earth
    • Aquarius - Wind
    • Pisces - Water

    PS: Zodiac indicate personality and innate element. All of them take on these zodiacs, except for Qayin who gets his powers from Ophiuchus.
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  5. #5
    Regular Member BunnyVoid's Avatar
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    Really quick on photoshop: SOTZ act ZERO. This is the oneshot's flypage after the coverpage.
    Last edited by BunnyVoid; 09-27-2012 at 04:48 AM.
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  6. #6
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    Another thing. Pick your target, if are japanese you write in kanji (or whatever) and from right to left, but if you are not aiming to them, write in english from left to right. This is important because if you write like manga but you are not reaching that audience, you are basically going to piss of a lot of people from the other audience.

    Also, you should read the wholes discussions about this mater and the distinctions between comic and manga. We have a lot of threads where this discussion was raised.

  7. #7
    Regular Member BunnyVoid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClockHand View Post
    Another thing. Pick your target, if are japanese you write in kanji (or whatever) and from right to left, but if you are not aiming to them, write in english from left to right. This is important because if you write like manga but you are not reaching that audience, you are basically going to piss of a lot of people from the other audience.

    Also, you should read the wholes discussions about this mater and the distinctions between comic and manga. We have a lot of threads where this discussion was raised.
    ahhh yeah, i just recently read that thread by Owithrow and I do agree that manga is highly contextual--just as other terms specifically targeted to certain groups of people in certain places. That probably made me rethink of what to call this work of mine. Personally, I don't feel like thinking this particular issue over so I'd just leave it out first... but thanks for pointing that out!

    The comic will be read from left to right so that's its comfortable for me and my friends.
    I hope you (and Owithrow) don't mind me taking this quote from Owithrow's thread. You could have said the same thing to me and it would make a lot of sense--considering how ambitious I am with this project.

    Quote Originally Posted by ClockHand View Post
    Even manga-influece is kinda weird. The thing is that the "manga" doesn't have a defined style, and this has been proved countless of times by different mangakas. The thing is that the line that separate comic and manga is very thin, soo much that the only possible difference is the cultural one of the authors, and even this one can be crossed ones the authors separate their work from the cultural canon.

    Now, this is not subject to kill you or something like that, but we tend to be kinda blunt about this with many new users, because this has been a subject for a long time ago, and most of the new users come from this only mono-vision on the comic industry where they have only been influenced by mangas, without knowing how extensive and deep the whole medium of comic books is.

    My tips are:

    TIP 1 -Set a basic goal or thesis for the story. A thesis is an idea you want to argument through the story and a goal can be provoke in a emotional level to the reader (there are many different goals).

    TIP 2 -Set a main character, only one; there are stories that use more than one character, but if you are a first timer, use only one, it's really hard to place more than one main character in a cohesive story. Also to clarify main character: Harry Potter is the Protagonist, Ron and Hermione are Secondary characters. Secondary characters can be deep and complex, but that doesn't make them protagonists.

    TIP 3 -Set moments that change the story, this can be by using the 12 steps of the hero or sydfield paradigm (use google), to get and idea on how to structure your story in a emotional, narrative and a productive level.

    TIP 4 -Cause and Consequence, never become a mad god who just play with the characters, you just place the setting, the characters are the ones who made mistakes or success, and so, every event on the story must be through cause and consequence.

    TIP 5 -Keep it simple, I know a lot of people want to do this big one epic story that is going to hook the audience forever, but trust me, neither of us have the experience, talent and time for that, so be realistic and keep it simple, do a short story with a meaning, and let those crazy epic adventures for ones you get the experience.
    - - - Updated - - -

    I shall pursue each tip. However these are just my temporary insights, they may still change later.

    1: Act Zero - Origin of the Secret: Havel, the prince of Ozdica, has to face the fear of using his 'gift' to uncover the first secret of the Zodiac

    2: So since I'm a beginner, I'll try to change SOTZ working story and completely focus on Havel's experience. For 'Act Zero - Origin of the Secret' the main protagonist will be Havel and the main antagonist is Ophiuchus.

    3: I have yet to accomplish this using the Sydfield paradigm. For now it will only be the twelve steps. Btw, big thanks for sharing this tip. This is truly helpful in clearing things.

    As you can see, I have completely revised the story. So please do ignore the incongruousness. This is the updated working ACT Zero - Origins of the Secret. BTW, Havel is a prince of the kingdom of Ozdica. All of these events take place at the palace of Eden.

    SPOILER! :
    1. Havel's mother becomes sick during childbirth because of his rare power of sucking in souls.
    2. As a child, he saw his mother die because of his powers. She however insists that Havel is innocent. Her soul completely becomes a part of him and a symbol of Zodiac Cancer (pertaining to his mother's zodiac) appears on his body (like a tattoo).
    2. Havel gets bullied because of his uncontrollable 'gift' that sucks in other people's souls. Currently he only has his mother's Zodiac symbol, but since he's a prince and the mother was the queen, rumors spread like wildfire. He musters a deep hate against these people, and one day he plots his revenge against them.
    3. His mentor, Synn O'Donnor, is able to stop this by sacrificing himself (to save other children) and telling him that one day he will discover the purpose of his 'gift'.
    4. His older brother, Qayin, comforts him by promising to help him uncover that purpose. Qayin introduces Havel to his master, Seth Alsius, and trains very hard with them. Qayin later becomes very sick because his interactions with Havel. His soul was very prone to Havel's 'gift'.
    5. Ophiuchus, the unrecognized 13th zodiac, is an evil Zodiac wishing to overthrow other Zodiacs by becoming king and controlling the kingdom of Ozdica. He overtakes Qayin's weak body to fulfill his goal.

    - - - Updated - - -

    SPOILER! :

    6. One night, Adan becomes very sick. Havel fears that this was caused by him. Qayin sets up Havel to give Adan a medicine, which was actually poison. Adan dies the next morning and Havel is put in an isolated prison.
    7. Meanwhile -- Seth, along with few but high ranking guardians, unveils Adan's knowledge of Ophiuchus and argue how this could have been Qayin's doing. Seth and few others plan to stop the prince' ascension to the throne.
    8. Havel meets fragments of Qayin's soul, seemingly telling him something urgent (dilemma of Ophiuchus). It wants him to confront Qayin. Seth, who came to interrogate the prince, also witnesses this event. He reveals himself to Havel and briefs him of the current goings, confirming the message of Qayin's soul. He mentions of plans to stop Qayin's ascension, and may need Havel's help.
    9. On the day of Qayin's coronation, several guardians took arms against him. While this was happening, Seth frees Havel from the isolation prison using his dimension ability. When they arrive at the main palace hall, Qayin has already defeated several of the guardians using Ophiuchus immense power.
    10. Seth is also defeated. Havel is the only one left to confront Qayin. He fears that he might kill his brother but suddenly fragments of the 'real' Qayin appears and encourages him. The soul recalls their promise and encourages Havel that this might be the right time.
    11. They battle for a while, with Havel barely surviving Qayin with his mothers Cancerian powers and his former mentor's Sagittarian powers. He eventually takes hold of parts of the fake Qayin's soul and sees through Ophiuchus' secret (Apocalypse when he completely absorbs all their Zodiac energy). Out of exhaustion of using his powers, both Cancer and Sagittarius souls are depleted and sent back to the Zodiacs. His tattoos are gone too.
    12. Despite gaining insight of the secret, Havel is thrown a back by Ophiuchus' powers. Seth, now conscious, traps him in a dimensional prison, and escapes.
    13. After that, everything suddenly restarts up to the morning of Qayin's coronation. Everything go smoothly, with Seth and Havel absent from all the events.


    4: I think certain causalities has been established in the 12 points in the spoiler. I'll present them in a nicer format when I have time.

    5: So I picked a story with a relatively shorter time span. Its simpler and easier to deliver since events are very specific.

    These five tips helped me clear things a bit. I'll revise this thread soon when I have enough time.

    @Clockhand: Again, I have to thank you for giving time to comment on my work. I am very grateful. Your insight is valuable.
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  8. #8
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    Tip. The story doesn't need to go around the chronologic story. You can start from point 9 or before point 3, the deal is that, you have this chronologic story and you need to find a way to narrate it to us, using all the tools at your disposal.

    Also, I would like to mention Antoine Cucca (L'écriture du scénario), who state that the seed of a story (script in his case) is the idea "First creative condition and interpretation from the author", and this must be visual, emotional, credible and universal. I always believe there is true in the final proposition, because you write for others, and to reach other people you need to create a empathic bridge, and so your idea most be emotional, credible and universal, ideas like "love" fit very well here, but it's also how you deal with the idea that makes it tasteful. I'm adding this concepts because I want you to see which are the ideas behind your story, and so when you identify them, see if they work under the proposition of being "credible, universal, visual and emotional" and how are you going to deal with them while doing a nice narration of the story.

    A example of a well use of the "idea" in the narration can be the scene when Rorschach deny the fake peace and prefer to die (Watchmen), the encounter of Lila Crane with the "mother" in the basement (Psycho) or the quotes made by Kurtz on the darkness (Apocalypse Now).

    Tell the story at the time you find fitting, and try to create empathic bridges to your audience that go around an idea (or many ideas... but if you have more than one try them to form a cohesive argument).

  9. #9
    Regular Member BunnyVoid's Avatar
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    Thanks. I have identified some universal themes from the piece that I have written. I'll arrange them according to their strength, in terms of emotional intensity. Also, I'll indicate the corresponding PLOT number relating to the idea.
    These are:
    1. Good versus Evil (6, 8, 9, 11)
    2. Love and Sacrifice (1, 3, 4)
    3. Overcoming fear (2, 10)
    4. Individual vs. Society (2, 6)

    Below is a plot number reference for these ideas.
    SPOILER! :
    1. Havel's mother becomes sick after childbirth because of Havel's rare power of absorbing soul energy. This disease makes her weak and eventually leads to her death. Despite that, she insists that she will take care of Havel despite the effects of his powers on her health. Havel witnesses her death. Her soul completely becomes a part of him and a symbol of Zodiac Cancer (pertaining to his mother's zodiac) appears on his body (like a tattoo).

    2. A lot of rumors surrounding her mother's death spread. King Adan and the Palace of Eden's effort in taking special measures to keep Havel's powers secret were insufficient. Havel (age 6) gets bullied by a group of children because of his uncontrollable 'gift' that absorbs other people's souls. Out of hate and sadness, he goes on berserk and attacks the group of children.

    3. His guardian mentor, Synn O'Donnor, is able to stop this by sacrificing himself. Before completely disintegrating into soul energy, he tells Havel that one day he will discover the purpose of his 'gift'.

    4. Qayin (age 13), Havel's lazy and laid back brother prince, witnesses this from a far. He suddenly felt like, he had to take care of Havel from now on. Qayin comforts Havel by promising to help him find a 'purpose' for his 'gift/disease'. Qayin introduces Havel to his master, Seth Alsius, and starts to train very hard with them. Qayin later becomes very sick because his interactions with Havel. His soul was very prone to Havel's 'gift'.

    5. Ophiuchus, the unrecognized 13th zodiac, is an evil Zodiac wishing to overthrow other Zodiacs by becoming king and controlling the kingdom of Ozdica. He overtakes Qayin's weak body (age 15) to fulfill his goal.

    6. One night, Adan becomes very sick because of a very terrible message from the Zodiacs. Havel (age 8) fears that this was caused by him. the 'evil' Qayin sets up Havel to give Adan a medicine, which was actually poison. Adan dies the next morning and Havel is put in an isolated prison.

    7. Meanwhile -- Seth, along with few but high ranking guardians, unveils Adan's knowledge of Ophiuchus and argue how this could have been Qayin's doing. Seth and few others plan to stop the prince' ascension to the throne.

    8. Havel meets fragments of the 'real' Qayin's soul. It tells him that there is something wrong with Qayin (dilemma of Ophiuchus). It wants him to confront 'evil' Qayin. Seth, who came to interrogate the prince, witnesses Havel's communication with Qayin's soul. After the apparition, he reveals himself to Havel and briefs him of the current goings in the palace. This confirms the message of the 'real' Qayin's soul. He mentions of plans to stop 'evil' Qayin's ascension, and asks for Havel's help.

    9. On the day of Qayin's coronation, several guardians took arms against him. While this was happening, Seth frees Havel from the isolation prison using his dimension ability. When they arrive at the main palace hall, Qayin has already defeated several of the Guardian soldiers using Ophiuchus' immense zodiac power.

    10. Seth is also defeated. Havel is the only one left to confront Qayin. He fears that he might kill his brother but suddenly fragments of the 'real' Qayin appears and encourages him. The soul recalls their promise and encourages Havel that this might be the right time.

    11. They battle for a while, with Havel barely surviving Qayin with his mothers Cancerian powers and his former mentor's Sagittarian powers protecting him. He eventually absorbs enough amounts of the 'evil' Qayin's soul energy. This enables him to see through Ophiuchus' secret (The fact that he is a false zodiac). Havel becomes completely exhausted. Both Cancer and Sagittarius soul energies are depleted. Ophiuchus self-destructs before Havel completely uncovers Ophiuchus' secret (password to defeat him: FALSE ZODIAC).

    12. Despite gaining insight of the secret, Havel is thrown a back by Ophiuchus' powers. Seth, now conscious, traps him in a dimensional prison, and escapes.

    13. Everything suddenly restarts up to the morning of Qayin's coronation. Everything go smoothly, with Seth and Havel absent from all the events. Some issues are left lingering: Is King Qayin is the real or the evil Qayin? Was Ophiuchus really dead? etc.etc.


    The story will likely first revolve around how the ideas of 'Individual vs Society' and 'Love and Sacrifice (with focus on Sacrifice)' created 'Fear of Self' in Havel. Eventually, the idea of 'Good vs Evil' helps havel overcome his 'Fear of Self'. This idea intensified more by the concept of 'Love and Sacrifice (with focus on Love)' near the ending.

    It's still a bit unclear for now. I will develop this further later. Thanks again!
    (}_{)
    (>.<)
    (___)0 VOID "Every act of creation, is first of all an act of destruction" - Picasso
    http://bunnyvoid.deviantart.com/

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