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Thread: My Manga: Puppeteer

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    Talking My Manga: Puppeteer

    Hey everyone! I've been making this manga, or at least the idea of it, for about 3 years now. I haven't been able to really ask anyone to critique it since its conception until now, of course.
    (By the way, I can't draw for my life so I had to use a anime character maker to show my characters. I'm deeply sorry for that.)

    Premise:
    An evil man named Zedekiah Zedekiah.jpghas taken over the planet Puppet and has been doing so for the last couple thousand years. His next target is Earth and small rebel group on Puppet won't take it but they need help from an unlikely hero from Earth, Reed NiseReed Kensai.jpg. Reed is a regular adopted child from Earth who, like the rest of the world, doesn't know anything about this planet or its affairs but he soon learns that he must once he is brought to Puppet to work up to Zedekiah and dethrone him and end his reign of terror. The way he does so is by learning the art of Puppeteering which involves its user to manipulate atoms of objects, enemies, or even themselves like strings to fight. This allows users to form weapons made from debris, make an enclosure out of their surroundings or even transform into air and remerge elsewhere. Reed will gain friends throughout his quest, learn new skills and prepare himself to eventually challenge, and hope to, defeat Zedekiah and his Imperial order.
    Last edited by rgf123; 11-16-2013 at 07:25 PM.

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    Sir-Mass-a-Lot Sylux's Avatar
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    imperial*

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    Thanks for the correction.

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    One Thousand Member JJJorgie's Avatar
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    The basic plot is very clichéd. Do you have something totally new to offer? What's special about your characters? Why was Reed chosen to be the hero?
    Quote Originally Posted by Demonfyre View Post
    She has spoken and so we must obey!

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    Reed was chosen because when he was born he had a power sealed away inside of him and that power, or really ability, has the chance to allow Reed to become stronger quicker than others. Each character in the main "team" are diverse in their own right; some are quiet and collected whilst some are more out-going. There are plot twists here and there, would you like me to tell you some?

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    Bad Enough Dude to Rescue the President Kodos's Avatar
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    Why did he have that power sealed in him at birth? That's not answering the question of why he's the chosen one so much as saying that he's the chosen one all over again, just in a different way.
    Basically you should be able to answer 'why me?' Why was Reed chosen instead of literally anyone else?

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    He had is sealed in him at birth due to the fact that all members of his family are born with either an easily achievable ability or a hard-to-acquire one; Reed has the latter of the two. When he was young King Zedekiah visited Earth as word about a boy who could grow up to fight against him existed so he came to Earth and tried to suck all the life out of Reed but only could take about half of it away as his family came and saved him. The reason Reed doesn't remember this event is because he lost his memory of his life, Zedekiah and his family. His family became targeted by Zedekiah and as such had to leave Reed behind as they wanted him to stay safe most of all.

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    Sir-Mass-a-Lot Sylux's Avatar
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    what ability u gotta b specific

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    One Thousand Member JJJorgie's Avatar
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    ^Yes, and also, why does his family all have special abilities? Ancient alien race? Passed down mutations? Why?
    Quote Originally Posted by Demonfyre View Post
    She has spoken and so we must obey!

  10. #10
    Bad Enough Dude to Rescue the President Kodos's Avatar
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    In general I find that when you are writing a story, you should imagine that you are telling the story to a small child who always asks why. If you've ever dealt with small children, you know they always ask why - even when you explain them; they want explanations for the explanations. That's how you should think. Could you explain your story in such a way that eventually even the dumbest child could no longer meaningfully ask 'why?' about some element of it. If someone can ever reasonably ask "why?" about something in your story, then you've got yourself a problem, generally speaking.

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