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Thread: Vermy's Writing

  1. #1
    Regular Member TheVermillionFox's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Vermy's Writing

    SEE NEWEST POST.
    Last edited by TheVermillionFox; 03-26-2013 at 05:21 PM.

  2. #2
    101 Dalmations Member Prince of Angels's Avatar
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    Not sure if I'm supposed to say anything here, but I'll offer up some help for the Prologue or whatever that top paragraph is. Grammaratical Error #1: But when the royal bloodline is wiped out, the Grim Reaper takes hold of the kingdom, and spreads his dark reign arcoss the lands.
    PoA Suggests: But when the royal bloodline is wiped out, the Grim Reaper took controll of the kingdom, and spread his dark reign across the lands. And that's really all I could find. :3 Hope to be of help and sorry if I wasn't supposed to post here...
    I am the Prince of Angels, high monarch of the heavens, and I crush all those who stand in my way!
    Would you like some pie?

  3. #3
    Regular Member TheVermillionFox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheVermillionFox
    Critique is welcome, but warning, the first chapter is very long.
    Thanks for the small crits
    I am actually Roy Mustang.

  4. #4
    101 Dalmations Member Prince of Angels's Avatar
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    Oh... I thought that meant for the chapters. :3
    Last edited by Prince of Angels; 08-10-2012 at 10:59 PM.
    I am the Prince of Angels, high monarch of the heavens, and I crush all those who stand in my way!
    Would you like some pie?

  5. #5
    Regular Member TheVermillionFox's Avatar
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    Nah, it's alright. People can do either one.
    I am actually Roy Mustang.

  6. #6
    Regular Member TheVermillionFox's Avatar
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    Pretty much a major update; I rewrote them both and started working on another novel as well. I also renamed the two.
    Constructive critique is graciously accepted.


    The Rising:

    (Formerly The Lost Prophecy.)

    Chapter One
    Chapter Two
    Chapter Three

    Malevolence:

    (Formerly Impulse.)

    Prologue Part One
    Prologue Part Two

    Project Angel:

    (NO, IT ISN'T A RIP OFF OF MAXIMUM RIDE.)

    Chapter One


    I'll stop updating my old threads now.

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