Vermy's Critique Thread

[TheVermillionFox]

Third Entry: 8/8/12

Contest prize for n3k0k0n3k0 on MOB.

Yuzuki Yukari © 2011 AH Software, All Rights Reserved.

[Demonfyre]

Okay the first obvious thing that stands out to me is that you have an arm that looks like a box, either you've made the upper section incredibly and abnormally large or you have forgotten to show the joint and beef the arm out correctly, I'll draw an example ASAP and edit this post and add it in for you.

The second thing is the eyes, I personally think they are too close to the edges of the face, but I could be wrong, wait to see if anybody else says the same thing is what I would suggest.

Lastly the pose looks as if it's being drawn 3/4, if this is the case the face looks off again, it looks like its looking straight at us but the features have been moved to the side. If this pose is in fact straight forward then I think your problem lies with the way you've drawn the chin... It's hard to explain why though :/

Edit: Never mind I think it's because the head is tilted slightly up if that makes sense

[TheVermillionFox]

Well the jaw is angled correctly so I don't see what's wrong with it, really.

And I suck at drawing curves T_T so that's why the arms lack thereof.

Thanks ^_^

[Demonfyre]

Hope that helps

Other than what I mentioned it looks really good VF keep up the good work

[TheVermillionFox]

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind (or my iPhone, either one.)

[TheVermillionFox]

Fourth Entry: 8/8/12

Exodus character sketch, I'm still working on her design a bit.



She's wearing a suit, so her legs are supposed to look like that.

EDIT: Fixed most of it.

...Either the upper body is a little too short, or the legs are a little too long (this depends if you want 6 heads high or 7). Also, because the upper body's shorter than the lower body, the arms look too short, too...

From what I've learned, the older the character is, the longer the legs. My character is in her mid twenties.

[JJJorgie]

I'm going to assume that you want this to have correct human anatomy, so that's what I'm going to use for critiques.

The far arm is too short compared to the front arm. Since the shoulders aren't dipped or shrugged, the arms should be the same length.

Either the upper body is a little too short, or the legs are a little too long (this depends if you want 6 heads high or 7). Also, because the upper body's shorter than the lower body, the arms look too short, too.

The hands are too small. The eyes are a little low and too far apart (eye are only one eye length apart). The breasts are oddly shaped (boxy instead of being rounder). The shoulder on the left shouldn't be that much smaller than the one on the right. the arm upper should go down to the waist; it's too short.

Hope this helps.

[Prince of Angels]

PoA's Notes: Its really good, but I found basically one thing other than what JJJ put. An I will tell you in teh form of a question: Is she supposed to have 4 fingers? Or can I not see the fifth? :3 Hope this is of use.

[Demonfyre]

Everything I noticed has already been mentioned by JJ and PoA, for a quick way to check the leg length they should be aproximately the same length as the length of the body from the top of the head to the crotch, hopefully that will make checking the leg height easier for you also that character design is awesome, kinda reminds me of Predator keep up your good work

[TheVermillionFox]

Everything I noticed has already been mentioned by JJ and PoA, for a quick way to check the leg length they should be aproximately the same length as the length of the body from the top of the head to the crotch, hopefully that will make checking the leg height easier for you also that character design is awesome, kinda reminds me of Predator keep up your good work

Thanks, I'll come up with an improved digital version soon ^_^

PoA's Notes: Its really good, but I found basically one thing other than what JJJ put. An I will tell you in teh form of a question: Is she supposed to have 4 fingers? Or can I not see the fifth? :3 Hope this is of use.

Nah, I'm just lazy with hands.
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Fifth Entry: 9/8/12


Character for my upcoming webcomic, "The Fall".



Cover for CH 1