Two friends must race against time to nullify the Mime King's curse before they themselves become mimes forever.
Many, if not most of you who have looked into publishing your works know the importance of an elevator pitch (a short summary of your story). So let's pitch things to each other and work on improving them. This should make our pitches themselves better, and it'll help solidify the most basic concepts of our stories in our minds and help us focus on them when we feel like writing a big city battle scene inspired by Transformers 7: Crack of the Butt.
Also, when someone asks you what your book/comic/thing is about, you can actually tell them clearly and concisely without meandering around a few different plot points for 15 minutes.
One of mine, for example:
May not be perfect, but it establishes a character and a problem without me bumbling around trying to explain the economic and political implications of the queen's actions, the themes that come through from this or that character, a major side-character's entire arc, etc. Keep it simple and understandable on a basic level, and save the complex sociopolitical commentary for the book/comic/thing itself.A young queen discovers why assassination is considered a natural cause of death for monarchs.
A kid goes to a magical school, becomes a wizard, and fights a powerful evil wizard over the course of 7 years.A young boy learns to control the elements to defeat the evil Fire Lord.A chemistry teacher recently diagnosed with cancer cooks meth to support his family after he's gone.Each of those four stories is so much more than that, but can be summarized in very few words, and you can likely identify every one of them without me telling you the titles. That's the point of an elevator pitch. So let's do it.A boy and his magic dog go on adventures in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world.
To be clear, there should be critiques of some sort here. If someone posts a pitch and it doesn't grab you, see if you can figure out why and tell them.
The Mime King sounds like a douchecanoe. I really don't see anything wrong with the pitch or the concept, so I'll tentatively say I'd read that.
What a terrible fate it would be, to be cursed forever by the mime king
Long ago, the Goddess Rio created the Earth. The heavens shone brightly upon the world's surface, but the light created shadow. Deep in a realm below Earth, the Darkness was born. It sought to consume the light and all the good in the universe. Rio sent her lover and most trusted god, Shimatsu, to keep watch over the darkness. But the darkness consumed the light within Shimatsu, as it does in all things, and drove him to madness. He tried to take over the heavens, where he was quickly and swiftly stopped. In anger, his son Amatsu overcame the limitations his father faced. With the Succubus Queen and her army of goblins and kobolds and orcs, Amatsu flung open a path to Earth and let the darkness reign free, where he took revenge on Rio and her most prized creation: the humans. The human race has gone extinct, save for two young men, Shun and Jiro, whom the Goddess created from the fighting spirit of mankind in the final battle for their existence. Now, led by a former lieutenant in The Succubus Queen's army, the brothers must fulfill a prophecy left for them by the Goddess Rio: Defeat Amatsu and turn back time to bring mankind back to life, and purge the darkness from this world.
Bit more than a paragraph, but if Rio...
Hey, I see what you did there.
JJJorgie pretty much just handed you a one sentence summary on a silver platter, heh. :3
Good thread idea Matt, this always twists my melon.