Negative Body Image

[CypressDahlia]

Like I said. Confidence is a self-derived thing. I have no issues with people being fat and happy. I just don't understand why they expect others to coddle them about it. Nobody is required to help you be confident in yourself. So the idea that it's expected for me to avoid using the word "fat", or avoid mentioning a person's weight for no reason other than to facilitate their ego bothers me, because it's neither an insult nor a judgment, merely an observation.

[Inksprout]

Hmm, yes thank you captain obvious. My point is that when people are making fun of someone for being fat they are implying more than that the person is just fat. They can be implying that the person is lazy, inferior, ugly etc just through that comment. Sometimes people who have weight problems can even start to think those things when no one is implying them. It's this rather than the actual weight problem that makes it difficult to deal with. Do you disagree?

EDIT: This was directed at Haya, not you cyp

[Hayashida]

So are you saying you can't call a fat person fat? Because yeah, some people are going to be malicious about it, but you can be malicious about like every adjective.

[jubeh]

Like I said. Confidence is a self-derived thing. I have no issues with people being fat and happy. I just don't understand why they expect others to coddle them about it. Nobody is required to help you be confident in yourself. So the idea that it's expected for me to avoid using the word "fat", or avoid mentioning a person's weight for no reason other than to facilitate their ego bothers me, because it's neither an insult nor a judgment, merely an observation.

What's going on here. Who did you call fat that told you not to call them that.

[Inksprout]

I'm saying that the taboo surrounding it as arisen because people do use comments about weight maliciously and it does have a serious negative effect. In my opinion at least, its gotten to a point where even when the intentions are not malicious those who are uncomfortable with their bodies will find it upsetting: simply because its difficult to think of being overweight without also thinking of the negative connotations that come from people using it maliciously in the past. I'm not saying that you should tip toe around the issue, but I am saying there is a valid reason why people get upset about it.
But hey, when is it ever polite to make point blank observations about people? The only times it's really necessary to say anything about someone's appearance is when you want to compliment them or when you are concerned about them, or maybe if you were describing a person (but then you wouldn't be saying to the person you are describing anyway).

[Hayashida]

People get offended by it because they don't have self confidence. And it's not polite to make observations about people you don't know, but it's fine with people you know imo. You wouldn't go up to someone random on the street and be like "hey what the hell are you wearing today, you look like crap." If one of your good friends was wearing something ridiculous though you could say that to them. I think that's part of being a good person, don't you think so? If someone looks bad, you shouldn't tell them they look okay because that's lying to them and shows you don't have a lot of integrity. There's being straight up rude to someone and there's being honest with someone.

[Inksprout]

Yeah I agree with you on that count, but even with friends it can be a sensitive issue. With something like an outfit they probably just put it on that day so you pointing it out is an example of being a good friend and helping them out. I would disagree that randomly pointing out a friend's weight problem is helpful though. They have to buy big sized clothes and look at their bodies and know how much they weigh so I'm sure they are already know they are fat. I'm not sure what purpose simply reminding them of that is going to serve beyond teasing them. If you are talking about being more constructive like maybe suggesting they eat something healthier because they are fat or offering to go jogging with them that's a different matter.

[CypressDahlia]

Jubeh: I didn't call anyone fat. This is something I picked up from one of those "everyone deserves to feel beautiful" facebook statuses.

[Inksprout]

Just to be clear, I agree they you shouldn't have to compliment people on their appearance when they do have a weight issue and I completely agree that people have to work on their appearance if they want others to say they look great. I just don't see any reason to do the opposite and point out obesity as an issue in most situations.

[jubeh]

Yeah thats ridiculous unless that person was fat then that doesn't justify

I have no issues with people being fat and happy. I just don't understand why they expect others to coddle them about it. Nobody is required to help you be confident in yourself.

Its almost scary how you've painted all fat people as insecure whiny babies. Who are you even talking about here.