Kami's work :)

[Matt]

The breasts are positioned better, but her forward lean looks abrupt, like her spine is curved 90 degrees at the middle of the ribs. I'll do a redline and see if I can explain it any better through drawing.

Here you go:

EDIT: Why does Imageshack always do this? Here's the text, since it's hard to read:

SPOILER! :

Urgh, this is a terrible redline. But I can make some observations with it.

Ignore the arm and hand. I did them wrong.

Her head was huge. It took boxing it in to see it, but you can see where I went from there.

You fixed the cleavage, but the heart of the problem was in her torso. For the angle it was bent, the tits and clavicles were much too high.

This bone is where the bulge in the hip starts. The skin and muscle above it spread to meet it.

Here, her hips were really, really wide considering the rest of her body. My redline retains the wide hips, but do you see how wide they look under the clothes even after I've reduced them? Protip: draw her naked first. If she looks wrong naked, she'll look wrong clothed. There's only so much you can hide.

Most drawing books tell you to rough in guidelines before committing yourself to anything. Well, do that. Your mannequin drawing is decent. Just superimpose a mannequin on any given one of your drawings. If the mannequin can't achieve the pose you have, a human probably can't.

Furthermore, if anything looks awkward on the mannequin, chances are it'll look awkward on a human as well.

[kamisoyokaze]

The breasts are positioned better, but her forward lean looks abrupt, like her spine is curved 90 degrees at the middle of the ribs. I'll do a redline and see if I can explain it any better through drawing.

Here you go:
[URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/163/6xx1yhcritique.jpg/]

Thanks thats really useful! I actually enlarged the head :P I thought it was too small. I'll try to fix it based on your corrections, or i might just start again Cheers.

[kamisoyokaze]

Right, seems as I have a problem with anatomy, I decided to get away from manga drawing for a bit and try to draw real people, so i get a sense of how they should look. Using this as my model http://characterdesigns.com/bandaid/...t_040_2378.jpg I have started sketching it. I haven't done much yet but I have to go to college now and I was hoping I could get some CC for when I got back However I really couldn't get that perspective down so i ended up going off on a tangent and doing it from a much more basic perspective. If there are any tutorials on perspective or you have any tips, please fire them my way, I've read a few, but not really grasped it yet...




EDIT:
Updated the last sketch



EDIT AGAIN:
A sketch of a man holding a gun, I really tried with perspective here, how did it turn out?

[Shadowsfade]

Wow that's some awesome foreshortening!!

For the picture above, I think the breasts look a little off in your edit, they looked better in the first one - i think it's to do with the angle you've made them come off the chest, they come off at quite an angle, and slope upwards, and when they're rejoining at the bottom, they shouldn't really curve upwards like that. Also, considering the angle of the rest of the body, I don't think you should be able to see both of them as much, the one closest to us should be covering most of the one furthest away.

Got some nice work here though!

[kamisoyokaze]

Wow that's some awesome foreshortening!!

For the picture above, I think the breasts look a little off in your edit, they looked better in the first one - i think it's to do with the angle you've made them come off the chest, they come off at quite an angle, and slope upwards, and when they're rejoining at the bottom, they shouldn't really curve upwards like that. Also, considering the angle of the rest of the body, I don't think you should be able to see both of them as much, the one closest to us should be covering most of the one furthest away.

Got some nice work here though!

Cheers and thanks for the pointers I'll give fixing them a go

Also here's another one, the start to my zombie scene... I think this is enough of a sketch, so once ive fixed this up ill ink it on sai and colour it in...

[Sunny]

You have a good start with these sketches.

For the man with the gun: I'd pay a little more attention on how the body is put together. If you need to, look in the mirror and hold out your arm. See how your armpit looks and how your arm connects to your shoulder? The bottom of it should go in.

Also, take your fingers and look at your own body. How large is your arm? Where does your armpit start? The chest area is a bit up in regards to the armpit. I also think if the arm had been back a bit, you'd have more force of character in the picture. You could also make the hand a little more clenched.

The torse is really great and I really like the knees as well. The hand is pretty cool and well done as well.

[kamisoyokaze]

You have a good start with these sketches.

For the man with the gun: I'd pay a little more attention on how the body is put together. If you need to, look in the mirror and hold out your arm. See how your armpit looks and how your arm connects to your shoulder? The bottom of it should go in.

Also, take your fingers and look at your own body. How large is your arm? Where does your armpit start? The chest area is a bit up in regards to the armpit. I also think if the arm had been back a bit, you'd have more force of character in the picture. You could also make the hand a little more clenched.

The torse is really great and I really like the knees as well. The hand is pretty cool and well done as well.

Thanks for the CC, Ill fix the armpit I didn't think of that at all Also What do you mean by "if the arm had been back a bit"? Cheers ^-^

[kamisoyokaze]

I decided to try and make my own original character, so here we are... Meet Hanako, a closet sadist. On the left is her 'normal-mode' and on the right is her 'S-mode', her sadistic alter-ego.

[Demonfyre]

A sadistic alter ego whom is female, interesting :P your design looks good so far but in her normal mode you should make the axis on which the eyes are placed straight rather than curved as she is looking straight at the viewer. It also looks as if her eyes are pointing diagonally, maybe you could straighten them out so they are parallel with the horizon. Ignore this if this was deliberately done for your OC keep up your good work

[kamisoyokaze]

A sadistic alter ego whom is female, interesting :P your design looks good so far but in her normal mode you should make the axis on which the eyes are placed straight rather than curved as she is looking straight at the viewer. It also looks as if her eyes are pointing diagonally, maybe you could straighten them out so they are parallel with the horizon. Ignore this if this was deliberately done for your OC keep up your good work

Cheers, I'll fix the eyes on the computer ^_^