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Thread: F.E.N.R.I.S. - Collaboration Project

  1. #91
    Super Senior Member Demonfyre's Avatar
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    So... F.E.N.R.I.System?

    And what I meant was that I liked Mereana's idea of having several more rogue valkyries helping out Jett and Tyra work out what Ragnarok is and how to stop it etc. And also suggesting that we could have a rogue valkyrie that remains with the Valkyries and acts as a mole and gives information to Jett and Tyra. Make more sense?

  2. #92
    Regular Member Shnorkel's Avatar
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    -F.E.N.R.I.S. = Fully Enhanced Neohuman Radiopasteurization Inducing System (better than my older suggestion, since it more accurately describes FENRIS's function, which is basically inducing the Ragnarok, which what it does is 'pasteurizing' the planet of normal humans, allowing the 'Neohumans' to be introduced into the destroyed world so it can be 'reborn')

    -Hmm I don't know about their friends joining from the Valkyries, I figure it's possible but then it rules out the whole inner conflict Tyra has for having to choose between her friends+organization and Jett.
    -About having a mole inside the Valkyries- it sounds quite good. Who will the mole be? (preferrably not anyone that's a close friend of Tyra.)

    -BTW I thought about a name for the inner government circle: The Harbingers.

    -What about side characters for the inner circle, that teacher who works for the governemnt, and Okinsella's assistants/colleagues?

  3. #93
    Super Senior Member Demonfyre's Avatar
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    The Harbringers is a good name also in regards to more rogue Valkyries, Mereana dI'd raise an good point about the fact that Jett and Tyra are going against two massive factions it's unlikely that they wouldn't get caught/killed hence why we should make it something like the order too kill Jett was from the top people of the organisation and by this point Llyod and Viorell are also friends with Jett and so want to help and tyra work out what is going on and sneak them out or something?

  4. #94
    Regular Member Shnorkel's Avatar
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    Cool

    What if Jett and Tyra do get caught and imprisoned, and then Viorell and Lloyd violate their orders and rescue them by sneaking them out before they're executed or something?
    Still, I think there should be collective orders to all Valkyrie members about catching Jett and Tyra as highest-priority objective. It won't make sense that some members of the Valkyrie try to catch them while the others don't.

    And IMO it does make sense that they manage to survive two organizations since they can be just on the run all the time, running away from the police/special forces and valkyrie informants.



    Here is the summary of part I of the story!
    notes:
    * [unnamed city] and [organization's name] need to be filled in!
    * some parts are missing such as Jett's training days and his affliction-building moments with her (Tyra is a bit of a Tsundere, FYI). Additionally, comic reliefs and his bonding with some of the organization's members.
    * I only included characters and scenes with characters that we are 100% sure about having.

    F.E.N.R.I.S. part I

    The story begins with Jett, an ordinary highschool student living in [unnamed city], a floating city in the "Valorian States" in the year 2081 AD.
    On his way home from his part-time work, a mysterious boy looking somewhat his age approaches him in the empty street, and addresses Jett as 'Fenris'. The boy attacks Jett with superhuman strength, and just as the beaten Jett is about to receive the powerful finishing blow, a girl jumps into the scene and deflects it.
    She was a quiet yet very attractive girl from his class, named Tyra; she always made Jett wonder about her.
    Tyra, wielding an odd spear, fought back at the boy who attacked Jett. After a short battle, the injured boy reaches out to Jett and punches right through his chest. Then Jett suddenly goes berserk and unleashes destructive powers at the boy, without being aware of what he is doing. Soon afterwards, the mysterious boy flees, and Jett faints, falling on the floor of the recently destroyed street.

    Jett wakes up in the care of Tyra, with his seemingly fatal wound mostly healed. Tyra admits to him that he is in the center of a government conspiracy, and she was sent to his high-school by an underground anti-government organization known as [organization name], in order to supervise him. She also tells him that he is involved in this because he has 'superhuman traits' but doesn't elaborate on the topic.
    Tyra insists that Jett, for his own safety, stay underground. She introduces him to her organization's members. Among them are Viorell, who belongs to the 'Valkyries', [organization name]'s top Special Forces unit, and Lloyd, the Valkyries' main mechanic and engineer. Jett soon befriends them.

    Four days after his incident with the mysterious boy, on their way to [organization name]'s headquarters, they stumble across a girl who also addresses Jett as 'Fenris'. She introduces herself as 'Skoll', and also notes that she apologizes for her brother's, Hati's, incivility for not introducing himself when he first met Jett 4 days prior. She questions Jett about his memories and physical condition, and attempts to convince Jett to come with her without resistance but for no avail. A battle ensues between them and Skoll. The more the battle intensifies, Jett feels overwhelmed with adrenalin, and as Skoll is about to land a deadly blow on Tyra Jett instinctively uses an unfamiliar power to knock away Skoll and prevent her from hurting Tyra. Impressed, she then begins fighting more viciously and quickly defeats them both. As she is approaching the defeated Jett, she is attacked by the Valkyries and soon gets overpowered by the barrage of attacks, and retreats saying that next time they won't be so lucky.

    .
    . [ To be added, Jett finding out more about his powers and their nature, telling Tyra about his 'past' and the accident that caused memory loss 11 years prior. Also, some affinity building up between Jet and Tyra]
    .

    One night, Jett wakes up to find a girl who appears to be around 10 years old sitting on his desk chair. She appears like an ordinary girl, but has bionic prosthetic part of her head and legs. She introduces herself as 'Hel', and declares that she has no intention to harm him, and that she only wants to talk. She begins by explaining to him that he is more than an ordinary human, that he belongs to The Harbingers, that his existence and powers have a very specific purpose, and that he should return to 'father'. Once asked if she is the same as Hati and Skoll, she replies that she is ordered by The Harbingers the same way they are, but that she is "just a regular human, slightly tinkered with". She says that she worries for his safety, and warns him that sticking with Tyra and her organization is very dangerous for him. Afterwards, she climbs out the window and disappears into the night.

    The morning after, Jett tells Tyra about his encounter, and she takes him to the [organization name]'s HQ in order to report it to the higher-ups. Once Jett describes his encounter while omitting Hel's warning about the organization, he is requested to stay in the headquarters and spend the night there for the meantime.

    Unable to fall asleep, Jett goes to the moon pool (reminder: the story is in a floating city) and sits by the poolside to think about Hel's warning. To his surprise, Tyra comes out of the pool next to him, saying she was just doing some swimming and diving. She sits next to him and they talk. She tells Jett how she got into [organization's name] because she wanted to follow the steps of her now deceased father, and that she is happy now that she doesn't need to watch Jett from a distance without any interaction like she had to before. Jett tells her about Hel's warning, and that he doesn't want to believe it to be true. Tyra tells him that it is her duty to protect him and that she will never do anything to harm him. Just before the two kiss, Viorell walks in and interrupts them, when she asks them what are they doing awake so late.

    The day after, as Jett spends his time breathing fresh air on the roof, Hati and Skoll appear and blast him off the roof down to one of the alleyways. Jett attempts to escape and the twins give chase. After a short while of being chased by them, Jett finds himself cornered. They order him to come with them, as he is cornered and outnumbered. Jett refuses, and attacks first using his powers. As they fight, Hati and Skoll begin telling him about his true past. They reveal to him that 11 years prior he was in the center of a covered-up experimental testing of 'The Ragnarok', and that he is living in a lie created by [organization's name]. They explain to him that they address him as 'Fenris' because that is his true name which is an acronym for for 'Fully Enhanced Neohuman Radiopasteurizing System', and that he was actually brought up in a lab while being heavily augmented with bionics. They reveal to him that after the successful testing of 'The Ragnarok', [organization's name] kidnapped him and wiped out his memory using an algorithm named 'Gleipnir', which restricts his powers, and ridding of the restrictions was Hati's purpose when Jett first met him.
    Jett also realizes that he is adopted as he has no sibilings and no pictures of himself younger than 7 years old.
    Feeling shocked and betrayed, Jett asks Hati and Skoll about their goals, and they answer saying that all they do is filling the orders given by 'The Harbingers', by capturing Jett. They continue explaining by telling him that he is the trigger to The Ragnarok, and that when he was an infant he was taken in and augmented by The Harbingers only for that sole purpose.
    Then, the three of them are interrupted by the sound of Tyra's spear falling and clanking on the ground. Tyra was frozen in her spot upon hearing all of this, but the Valkyries that she came with began attacking Hati and Skoll and a battle ensues.
    Jett ran away from the scene, still utterly devastated upon hearing the truth.

    __________________________________________________ ____________________

    You're welcome to change parts and add new ones!
    Well what do you guys think?

  5. #95
    Super Senior Member Demonfyre's Avatar
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    I think that it reads really well and explains the situation very well i'll need to read it a couple more times to see if I can find any holes etc but so far seems fine right do we want use this period of success to go on and continue working on part 2 of 3 or should we start constructing character profiles and emotion charts etc?


    NOTE: I'll add that into the first page and update the first three posts now that the story is starting to take shape
    Last edited by Demonfyre; 06-24-2012 at 05:08 PM.

  6. #96
    Regular Member Shnorkel's Avatar
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    Well I was thinking that before we make progress, we complete designing ALL of the character set. Just making character profiles for everyone, including some drawing designs of them.
    Where's Mereana with that Jett design? lol

  7. #97
    Super Senior Member Demonfyre's Avatar
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    Dunno, and yeah I agree with that plan of action i'll work on... tyra? Or do you want to work on tyra?

  8. #98
    Lucky Member eltoroguaco's Avatar
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    hehehe... Fenris. Love it when people use names from Norse Mythology on stories, as shorts or initials for other companies, items, unions... etc.

    Reading through it, I see you use more names from Norse Mythology. Sense we have some fans of old Scandinavian/Nordic believes here? :P
    Last edited by eltoroguaco; 06-24-2012 at 05:58 PM.

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  9. #99
    Regular Member Shnorkel's Avatar
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    haha actually the entire story is based on some of the Norse mythology that's all.
    The 'father' or more precisely Dr. Laurence O'kinsella (Dr. L.Oki) represents the god Loki, who is the father of Fenrir, Jormungand and Hel. All three of them are Okinsella's creations (Fenrir being a lab raised cyborg, Jorm being an android and Hel being an augmented ordinary human). Plus, Hati and Skoll which in the mythos are Fenrir's children, are actually in the story created from Jett's DNA. The supercomputer that engineered all three of Okinsella's creations is called Angrboda, named after Loki's mistress.
    In the mythos, the gods chained Fenrir in a magical silk rope called Gleipnir (in the story, it's the name of the algorithm), and the god of war Tyr (The story equivalent being Tyra) had his hand bitten off by Fenrir when Fenrir was chained up (same thing, Tyra lost her arm when Jett's memory was wiped). Tyr's weapon is a spear (so is Tyra's).
    Hati and Skoll are two wolves that chase the chariots of the moon and sun (respectively) trying to eat them. It is said that when there's a lunar/solar eclipse, the moon/sun are in danger of being eaten. The story starts on a lunar eclipse night where Hati appears.
    The valkyries are flying female warriors, same with the Valkyrie unit.
    Hel, the youngest of Loki's children is described to be beautiful but with half of her face and her legs being dead and rotten like a corpse's. Hel in the story is a little girl who lost her legs and got injured in her head in an accident. They were replaced with bionics.

    I'm sure there's more references to the Norse mythology in the story that I haven't mentioned

  10. #100
    Super Senior Member Demonfyre's Avatar
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    Reading through it, I see you use more names from Norse Mythology. Sense we have some fans of old Scandinavian/Nordic believes here? :P
    I'm a believer in ancient Egyptian religions, Norse mythology shall suffice for now xD

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