Demon's Critique Collection

[Demonfyre]

@BV - Thanks yeah that leg is pretty long (which is also what she said), I'll try to shorten it a bit and bring it back to normality

@Stan - That was done on my sketch pad I just clean it up and add my tag onto it digitally and thanks!

[toast]

Hey man!
Your biggest problem when it comes to poses like these is cohesiveness. Instead of paying attention to everything as a whole, you seem to focus more on the details. Because of this, you lose the flow of the pose. Your poses become stiff, and different parts of the body don't match each other in terms of movement. At the moment, you drew her as if her torso and shoulders are relaxed. Except the problem is that, in that pose and according to the reference you sent me, her shoulder is raised and she's also leaning backwards. Also, because her leg is outstretched, she would also be outstretching her body. It would be extremely uncomfortable otherwise.

My whole problem with the reference you're using is that the clothes prevent you from seeing a lot of stuff, and that really distorts your view. So I'm hoping this redline helps a lot more

Here are the problems. In the spoiler below are all of the pictures. I'll add short descriptions under each so you can tell what's going on:

1. Again, her body is quite stiff and doesn't match the flow of the pose. This can be observed in the followings pics at the bottom of the post.
2. You drew her vagina way too low, and the lines are also too prominent, which wouldn't be that visible when her legs are outstretched (hopefully this makes sense in the pictures)
3. Her breasts look too relaxed, when in actuality she's supposed to be leaning back. Also, because one arm is raised, one breast raises with that arm. Now remember, when fixing the breasts, think of the breasts and torso as a whole. I like to think of the breasts as if they're on an axis that is attached to a cube (which is the torso)
4. The neck would not be as visible in this pose!!! Her shoulders are raised and her head is looking down
5. You already mentioned in the PM that you drew her leaning too forward, and that is correct
6. The knee on the leg bending would not be that prominent. Remember that the reference is of a doll, and dolls typically have prominent knees so...realistically, thats what the bent leg would look like (because we put leg muscles and fat into consideration. Also the knee bone doesn't jut out when bending. It points down)
7. The same leg also needs to be forshortened more
8. As for the outstretched leg, it needs to be outstretched more. BUT!!! as you do this, you need to pay attention to the hips in relation to the leg! This is where that whole "looking at the big picture" thing comes in. You need to make sure everything flows together.
9. The foreshortened arm needs to be raised higher and the hand needs to be larger. Remember, the closer the object the bigger it is.

anyone who wants to look at these, these pictures are NSFW. nudity and stuff

SPOILER! :

My redline overlayed on your drawing. This way it's much easier to see what I'm talking about.

SPOILER! :

Without your picture. I'm sorry about the hand, I just kind of scribbled it in.

SPOILER! :

With a bra, just in case

SPOILER! :

And without boobs so you can see the torso a lot better

SPOILER! :

Guideline/skeleton/whatever

SPOILER! :

alternative approach to the skeleton, focusing more on the figure and flow

[Demonfyre]

Thanks, think I will just start again, was worried that this was the case. Not sure why it didn't flow though, I did use a gesture :O

---

Revised gesture;



Adding form now;

[JJJorgie]

This looks like it flows better! I think the torso is about half a head too long.

[Shadowsfade]

looking much better just pretty much the same as JJ in that the torso appears a bit too long - in a pose like that when you're bending, you tend to bend in line with your belly button (as i believe you can see in the first of toast's pics) - if you compare where the belly button would be on your picture to be in line with the bend, it's too close to the crotch, and too far away from the breasts to work.

[Demonfyre]

@JJ - Thanks I will make sure to change that.
@SF - Thanks for posting ^_^ I've made it slightly shorter, and sorry about the confusion with the belly button, that was just a guideline I put in, I'm still to put in the anatomical details, been really busy this weekend and haven't had much time to draw

Update; (Probably get it finished tonight if I get some free time, sorry for the still present guidelines :/)

[Gaff]

Hmm... The movement is there, but I think the curve in her back is so pronounced now that her gun arm would be pointed straight at the viewer, instead of slightly to the side like that. Other than that, her left breast is larger than the right, her left thumb is upside down and I think her left forearm is too long, given the way the upper part of her arm is angled.

[Shadowsfade]

Oh yeah, I didn't mean where your guidelines were, I meant theoretically, if you were to draw a belly button in line with the bend the picture looks much better now that you shortened the torso. it may seem a weird comment, but i really like the shape of (our) left calf :P uhh besides what gaff said, her left hand looks like it's going to be too big from your current guidelines - it's the same length as the guidelines you have for her whole head, it should just be as big as her face

[BunnyVoid]

i feel kind of guilty not being able to comment on your thread a bit earlier.

You should know that I'm a big fan of your pencil sketching style which is tight and well defined. But since, i also am a fellow artist who wants a friend to advance in his endeavors, i suggest that you loosen it up a bit. Maybe its a bit too defined for making gestures... try to squiggle stick figures a bit more. maybe four or five of similar poses until it looks more relaxed, less mechanical and more natural. From the week I spent here in MT forum, I feel like you're one of those artists who seek perfection more avidly than others. Its okay to be less precise if it allows the picture to 'breathe' a little--to be a little more varied and random, almost graceful. After that, I think it would be easier for you to produce more believable poses. I'm sorry if this critique is quite confusing. I hope you understand the message.

Don't worry, I think you're awesome as always. I just felt that you are a bit frustrated recently (and had a strong urge to tell this to you). Take it easy sometime, demonfyre, it will come eventually. I hope this doesn't let you down but will instead allow you to be a bit more forgiving to yourself... that's all...

[theAnimeRebel]

Well.... IIIII can't draw girls to save my life so that looked awesome however, for the sake of preserving this threads intent. *ahem*

Like people have already said, although you place a lot of emphasis on stuff being anatomically correct, the drawings lack vividness and vibrancy--- the life gets cut out of them.

Problem? Spending way too much time on the initial pose and details.

Try making little thumbnail roughs of the pose you want before you draw....that might help. I know I never do anything too "final" in my sketchbook. *Jealous*
(To tell you the truth I didn't really have that much of a problem with the pose... exageration is what I think these people are looking for, perhaps a more dynamic pose.)

Anyhow, as far as proportionally speaking: (heh)
1. The left hand, the way you have it roughed in right now, is going to look wrong. Just an FYI
2. The left lower leg (one furthest from viewer) seems off to me....maybe I'm just seeing things.

Sometimes it's hard to catch mistakes if your scanner/camera distorts stuff.

Hey though, it's great!