Demon's Critique Collection

[Demonfyre]

Thanks a lot both of you! I think I will now lineart the sketch for the practice

[WhenRabbitsAttack]

she is adorable, james your clothing has improved alot, and i especially love how you've drawn her skirt! well done!
only problem i can see is that her boobs are a bit disprportionately large. each one is about the size of her head, though this could be stylistic
they are also slightly uneven in positioning. the right (her right) is higher than the left ^-^

[Mr_Liebe]

Great work on the proportions, and the poses very nice. this has inspired me, thank you, bro.

[Shnorkel]

Hey hey slow down you're getting better too fast!
I'd say that her neck is too thin in relation to her shoulders, but it seems that she's drawn like that in the anime itself so I guess it's ok.
I absolutely love how you drew the shirt, it's nice to see variety from the shirts you used to draw on your OCs. The hand looks really good too.
The only flaw that I can point out is the hair. Although the bangs are a-ok (and the ahoge which is adorable), the longer hair looks a wee-bit unnatural, and it looks like that because the width is varying wrongly. Look at the rightmost piece of hair for example (the one that curls), it starts out sort of thin, suddenly gets wider and then gets thinner- it makes no sense, there can't be 'more hair strands' in the middle than in the start of it. The hair should either stay the same width or get gradually thinner, with several exceptions like when it's tied together like in a ponytail or generally originating from one spot.

SPOILER! :

I'm not saying ALL of the long hair strands you drew are wrong, just a few of them.

Hope that helps.

Anyway, it seems that doing fanart and anatomy practice helps you ALOT, so keep it up!


Yeah I guess you're right, though it doesn't seem to be the case here and it makes the hair that's resting on her chest look odd IMO.
V

[WhenRabbitsAttack]

shnorkel. hair can also appear that way because it is in a denser bunch in places while it fans out in others. also, it can be stylistic ^-^

[Demonfyre]

@Mereana - Yeah, but alas that was how large they were on the reference :/ if your aware Lala is from an ecchi/harem genre manga/anime so... well... they tend to exaggerate certain areas of female anatomy :P and I think when it comes to stylistic hair i'm just rubbish at making denser bunches looking natural, something else to work on I guess :P thanks for the feedback


@Mr_Liebe - Your inspiration has inspired me to draw thanks a lot, and your welcome i'm glad that I can help you even in the subtlest ways


@Shnorkel - That makes lots of sense about the hair, thanks for telling me that and yeah skirts are something that i've been working on so I can develop variety and just making them look natural I guess and I'll definitely stick to fanarts for a while, they really do seem to be helping

I think I will try a few more fanarts with long haired females and then move onto incredibly spiky haired males as they are my weak points with the hair. Thanks for posting

[Raikov]

Already seeing lots of improvement c; About the circle thing on the head, yeah, it's somewhat the width of the arm, the upper part of your arms is too thin, so using the circle on the shoulder, and try to follow the size with some shapes of course. Good luck~

[Demonfyre]

Thanks for clarifying that i'll put that tip to use on today's drawing

[Shadowsfade]

nice, I think this is one of your best so far! The pose looks muuch more natural than some of your previous ones (and the arm size is much better in this pic!)

also nice improvement on the folds of the top and you captured the flow of the skirt nicely, you can see where it's moved from her leg being forwards. very good

[Mr_Liebe]

Aw, shucks.