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Thread: Reassemble Empire

  1. #1
    Tween Member Bijju's Avatar
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    Post Reassemble Empire

    I need to break this up into multiple post because I keep getting error messages when it's posted all at once...

    Everyone on here is so concise...
    I’ve had an idea for a manga for a while now, but this is the first time I have actually tried to put it on paper. I have all the key characters.
    I feel my story is a bit weak, because whenever I sit down to write the story, I think of all the miscellaneous stuff that exists in the story’s universe (Technology, history, politics, etc) and end up with a lot more of that then the story itself. (I’ll post those if needed)
    A lot of the story uses real countries- the reason I set it 200 years in the future is so I can provide/inject more history to explain why the “factions” act the way they do.
    Any critique or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    Origin/history

    Year: 2291

    There are basically three world superpowers {names uncertain}
    AA- American Alliance
    ES- European Sanctuary
    Core

    In the year 2023, bio-weapons were becoming prevalent in warfare. While some countries attempted to move away from it, they could not deny the change.
    The PRC (now weakened from democratic protesting and widespread upheaval) built a secret facility in Southern China dedicated to one cause alone: immunizing the populace from viral weapons. It was codenamed “Project: Metamorphosis” They planned to use a different virus to immunize people from bio-weapons. It would have to adapt to any situation. The project began kidnapping families to be used as test subjects. In 2034, 11 years after the start of the project, the project was discovered by the growing Middle-eastern powers and the complex was raided. A small group of test subjects escaped without detection. Within weeks of the raid, people began showing up at hospitals with a strange illness. It combated all forms of medication and began creating growths of biomass on the hosts.
    The new species of human was surfacing. Taking immediate action, the weakening government ordered the execution of all the infected. However, rebel groups began kidnapping the infected people and supporting them. The original escapees emerged as the three leaders of the rebellion against the PRC, naming their organization the “Core”
    By 2045, the Core had overthrown the old government and had formed their own. The virus that inhabited them was evolving, and new sub-species of Core people began appearing. Core began rapidly expanding its borders for access to more resources.The European countries banded together against the “menace” Core to form the European Sanctuary, governed by a single dictator. It pledged to eradicate the Core virus, using the large Christian population’s support to rally the country, and went into open conflict with Core. The US acted as a mediator, although anti-Core attitudes are high worldwide.

  2. #2
    Tween Member Bijju's Avatar
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    Post Reassemble Empire 2

    Around 2100, the ES and USA had almost exhausted their natural resources, and resorted to using South America and Africa as resource mines, claiming large amounts of territory for themselves. Core had expanded to the coast of the Indian Ocean. However, the areas retained their former cultures, albeit adopting the Core standard. The US is leading in technology, and is a world super-power. The ES has begun to spread propaganda to incite fear and paranoia into the populace. It is becoming desperate in its mission to save the human race.

    Familiars

    When a child of Core is born, the city generates a “familiar” for them- a companion that generates the Core virus and exudes it into the air. The familiar is link to its host, and therefore crumbles when the host dies. It is a projection of the host’s unique personality, and becomes more defined as the host matures. A familiar is essentially a golem of sorts. However, they are their own consciousness, and act as a very loyal individual. However, there are records of familiars leaving their hosts to die outside Core, or to kill them based on mistreatment. (Although these are exceedingly rare cases). Most familiars are small, but people with strong and defined personality traits have large familiars. Older members of Core’s familiars are often distorted if the person is mentally ill with a personality disorder. Familiars give Core a huge advantage in manpower and scouting in the military, as they are with almost every Core member. Familiars are hard to kill, and can take many wounds before dying.
    Core pretty much has its own culture, customs, martial arts, way of life.
    The core virus lets them do some pretty cool things, too


    Characters

    Kaito
    - Name: Kaito Aubreaguard
    Gender: Male
    Age:21
    Height: 5'10''
    Weight: 168 lbs
    Build: slightly muscular
    Eyes:Brown
    Hair: Black
    Skills: Soldier, Engineer/mechanic,
    Weaponry: A small submachine gun
    Abilities:Can redistribute muscle mass to different parts of the body without pain or physical harm.
    Personality Traits:Careful, does not like taking risks. Pays attention to detail. Does not push himself. Pushes aside emotion to clear his mind. has a girlfriend in the ES

    Aiko xin
    -Acts like everything’s fine, but hides severe problems
    -Believes that she must protect those closest to her, lest they die it would be her fault
    -direct
    -will do reckless things
    -Distrustful of others.
    -Has “Xin” character tattooed across her shoulderblades/back.
    Aiko is in a high position in Core’s government- her father was a general, meaning she is his successor. Aiko’s father was assassinated at age 6. Her mother died when she was a baby[childbirth]- ER soldiers attempted to recapture and and purge Heart city. The war and loss traumatized her, and she is psychologically unstable and periodically slips into hallucinations/depression. She has a hate for non-Core people, believing that they are all her enemies. She is looked down upon by the other Core Generals, being the youngest member, they saw she was barreling down the path of war when all Core wanted was peace. To her, Kaito and Seth were the first people who didn’t treat her with fear. Perhaps this is why she trusts them more than others. She so blindly believes in her own motives that she doesn’t recognize her own weaknesses, which lead to trouble…

    Sumaki-
    - Worked on smuggling ship
    - Attracted to Kaito
    - Outgoing (socially “loud”)
    - confident.
    - expressive
    Sumaki is a healer; therefore she is highly versed in medical practices- but not so much in combat. Being more “average/girly” than Aiko, she is more concerned about her physical appearance. She is more expressive in front of Kaito- opposite to Aiko, who is harboring a sort of “crush” … Sumaki has quick temper and often quarrels with people.


    Neil-

    - quiet
    - Childhood friend of Aiko
    -common sense- smart
    - strong

  3. #3
    Tween Member Bijju's Avatar
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    Reassemble Empire 3

    3rd (and final) post.
    I've crammed as much as I can with avoiding the error messages.
    The story- This is a very abridged version. I don’t think it would be civil to copy and paste 15 pages of a word doc onto here.

    So Kaito is an ES combat engineer being dropped in to a battle for the ruins of Moscow against Core. He is in the same division as the war hero “General Skirvish”. While moving through a ruined building to flank the Core troops, the ceiling collapses on top of Kaito ( as a result of the massive Core warbeasts), pinning his legs.
    Suddenly he is in a surprise attack and plays dead, with Skirvish taking down all but one person.
    That one person is Aiko, one of the Core Generals. Her and her familiar try to kill skirvish, but Kaito takes out his pistol and puts 3 bullets in her shoulder. Then, reinforcements arrive, but Aiko escapes. In the battle, Kaito is infected with the Core virus by Aiko’s familiar. Kaito passes out.
    He wakes up in an ES secret facility, and is introduced to the commander of the ES forces, Gorau Tiggo. Tiggo makes him a deal- since Kaito is infected with the Core virus ( and the only living survivor so far), he can be spared from a life of cruel testing- if he goes undercover and researches the Core people- their weapons, biology, society, everything. Kaito is given a camera-contact lens and is chloroformed, then smuggled onto a boat inbound to one of Core’s military capitals, Heart City (southern china coast).
    Upon arrival, he is completely lost and wanders to the villa/mansion at the highest point of the seaside city. He knocks on the door, and comes face to face with Aiko. She attacks him, but is held back by Neil, who doesn’t know what’s going on. After getting her temper under control, she grudgingly lets him live, showing sympathy for him since he was “abandoned by his country”, and conscripting him to copy all the designs he can remember of the ES’. Little does she know, he is also gathering information….

    I have a bit more story from this that I’m still working on.
    What I’m trying to make the interactions between people as multi-layered as possible, taking into account the differences in culture and other people around.
    For example, if Kaito wanted to interact with Aiko, she has this familiar closely guarding her at all times, which makes it hard to communicate.
    Aiko is a hero/public figure in Core, so whenever she goes out in public (when not in combat), she is greeted by both supporters and protesters of her.
    Kaito needs to remain discreet and carry out his mission- he develops feelings for Aiko later on, but has a girlfriend back in ES- he doesn’t know if she’d still accept him though, since he is a Core now.
    -insert more story here-
    They all of course do go on the battlefield too, later on.
    I’m trying to capture a bit of everything, a little war story, a little fighting, a little romance, a bit of mind games, social conflicts. I just don't want to make a generic manga.

    Thanks to whoever sat through this, and sorry for making it so vague (and badly formatted).

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