Unicorns are your best friends bro. They're strong and quick and magical and their only weakness is virgin women. Also, they can cure sicknesses and shi-crap- with their awesome horns. If you get shot in the street a unicorn is your homie, 'cause he'll fix you right up and gallop you far far away. If you're looking for a good girlfriend, they also double as fantastic slut detectors, since they're sure as hell not going anywhere near nonvirgin women.
So are pegasi. Pegasi carry lightning bolts for ZEUS.SPOILER! :
They're so friggin' awesome that every time they stomp the ground with their hooves the earth immediately breaks open and gushes water. Even your mother couldn't stomp the ground that hard with her feet. Oh, did I mention lightning bolts? You thought Zeus was powerful and everything? Imagine a pissed off pegasus, and imagine Zeus doin' his thing and smiting Titans left and right. Suddenly he runs out of lightning and calls out "Hey, pegasus, gimme a lightning bolt!" So then the pegasus laughs and goes "HA, no, BIT-female dog-!" and flies off. Who's king of the Greek gods now, huh?
Also, HORSES. Horses are the test of your manhood. I remember a story about this powerful warrior who was asked what animal he wanted to take with him into war. Did he want a lion? No. A T-Rex? No. What about frickin' Bahamut or Tiamat? Hell, no. He wanted an effin' HORSE. All 'cause horses are loyal and don't get in the way of kickass skills. Choosing anything other than a horse would have made him a weak-willed PU-domesticated cat- on the field of battle.
So Don't. You. Dare. Make fun of ANY equestrians. They can and WILL f-under commision of a certain monarch- you UP. Comprendes?
Also, we should invite Sparky.