View Poll Results: Is it a companion animal
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Fifty Fifty Member
Ignore Sylux, in general. Although, yeah, sounds sort of generic at this point. Not that that's bad per se.
I'm Not a Spammer!
Thanks for the warning, I'm just happy someone will listen and give honest yet nice feedback, by the way I love the avatar Bacon_Barbarian
Last edited by nimture; 03-28-2012 at 06:17 PM.
Fifty Fifty Member
If that's the case, my advice to you is to get cracking.
I'm Not a Spammer!
well actually i have the whole thing written out, in summary form, i just didn't want to give away too much but yeah i do need to go, hey at least I've got the basic designs finished. Well anyway got to go. Feel free to bicker amongst yourselves.
What's there to give away everything sucks
Ok, now its more clear and I can say the following things:
-This didn't need its own thread (you should have used a special thread for these kind of problems).
-If you had all figured out why you did this question?
-Still it doesn't look like the question between "pet or family" is directed to your problem. Not even know if you have an actual problem.
-Sylux is like that, so read all his comments with zoidberg voice.
It's funny, because that's how I talk! Why not Sylux!
Sylux Sylux Sylux . .what are you doin' here boy . .have I not told you to destroy the world yesterday. damn. .DO IT know or no dinner!
Ok so suggestions:
1) A familiar is usually a demon in the form of an animal that serves a witch while she comes into her powers. So having a werewolf as a familiar is acceptable but familiars serve witches to protect them so there should be some sort of contrac between the two. I would go for in return for protecting her as she learns her powers she promises to release him from his curse one day when she is strong enough to protect herself.
2) She shouldn't have any knowledge before hand that she can heal OR she shouldn't be such a special snowflake and say she was taught by someone OR she shouldn't have to heal him in the first place. I say go for a scene setup where the were wolf is terrorizing a town of something and she is presented with the opportunity to take him as her familiar (either in a way where she did or didn't know she was a witch. Like he fallowed his nose to her so she feels bad that she caused the destruction in a way and the only way to make him stop is to take him as her familiar.).
3) By her taking him as her familiar he is bound to protect her with his life so that also means he is given the power to transform at will (depending on what myths you fallow for him like some say they can transform at will and others say only during a full moon.) and even in his wolf state he will obey her every command ( maybe put a bit of a wrench in there for realism and say he goes crazy or can become disobedient during a full moon.
4) Stay away from cliche names for your were wolf. AnythIng with an "L" is cliche for a lycanthrope.
5) I wouldn't go for "she works for a circus" because that is too convienent for the story and doesn't seem real or believable. Say she decides to take off and find a master to teach her and they decide to join a traveling circus bee cause it travels the world or something increasing her chances of finding a master.
6) If you go for my suggestion of making a contract and the werewolf seeking a cure for his curse you will want to think of the age carefully. Is he a young man or boy bitten years ago and told tales by other werewolves he has met of witches and their power to lift the curse. Is he trying to regain the family that he left to protect after he was bitten and maybe almost killed? Are lycanthropes immortal and he is ready to die by having the curse lifted (I kinda like this one because it creates some drama for the witch when she learns that he is hundreds of years old and removing the curse means instant death for him)?
I may have more to say. Idk I'm still thinking of possibilities for this situation.
999 Knights Member
Yeah, I think the biggest problem with this is the whole "She's already magic." thing. If you make a character a "chosen one" like that, it just sort of ruins the drama by subconciously telling people that the main character is simply more special than everyone else, and thus can't be hurt or harmed by any run of the mill bad guy. You might also be jumping the shark a little by not explaining why the two get along so well... But yeah, otherwise, it's honestly pretty average. There are much worse things published out there.
Out of all Psy's ideas, I probally prefer the first one personally.
To make it more readable, I'd at least recommend thinking about their personalities and motivations more.
Good writing is supposed to be driven by the character's personalities, it shouldn't simply shunt the characters along all by itself.
Last edited by Regantor; 03-31-2012 at 11:16 AM.
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