Random's Tips / Hints / Guidance / Focused Critique Request!

[Mr_Liebe]

Work a bit more on body proportions, and on facial expressions. Other than that, you're doing just fine.

[Im_not_random]

Did some more stuff! Would appreciate some critique on a couple of them..


Did this this morning, originally thought ' wow this looks awesome.. ' but I've found things don't look so amazing after you stand up and take a good look... at the whole thing. Practice etc, but I'd really appreciate some critique and picking out of the annoying naggly things I did totally wrong :/

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Second!

Sketched, lined out and sort of shaded this one... I'm not sure though, whats the opinions regarding it? ( I scrapped the left side... ran out of paper space and it was kinda just not working out as I imagined... )

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Finally, a couple of the 'expressions' practice - cheesy grinny laugh, focused 'What you think you doin'' and a "What.. Do you think you're doing?" ( sarcastic blunt, little scared version).

I tried the lip chin nose change thing on the one I never filled hair into ( I need to work on hair as well as the rest, make it more interesting etc. ) but anyway, Critiques appreciated!

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[Rubisko]

Heya,

I scrolled this thread, and I think I can see some improvement between the first and the last post; the drawings gets better and better as you begin to understand the basic underlying shapes. It seems from your comments you're in a phase where you try to read every manga tutorial on the net, been there... However, I've found that most of the tutorials out there are mostly derives from the books by Andrew Loomis, so I encourage you to get them (since they were written so long ago, they are now completely free to download, google Andrew Loomis and you'll find them). This is probably the best one to start with, and it's my personal favourite of his books:

http://www.ryman.org/currentstudents...ithapencil.pdf

[Im_not_random]

Thanks, Will check this out!

[Im_not_random]

Still at it!

Been mostly trying different hairstyles, facial expressions and such. Looking at real life pics, then adapting to some form of drawing. Spent a little time doing this though... originally planned to do a full pic, including background, but I totally failed on attempting to draw the female character in this one... There's some visibility in the sketched back, left the perspective guide I threw in there also.

In terms of the perspective though, I think I got it about right - any critiques regarding that?

Somewhate based on a little idea I had for a scene in Atrophy, Joran ( Not final design - based on earlier drawing of dif. character ) facing off against a hostile ( and somewhat broken ) KE.

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I think I need to find a better method for plotting out female anatomy, proportions. Used the one I do for male characters ( which seems to do me not too bad ) but still a bit lost at how to go about sketching out a female one.

[Rubisko]

Hey man!

As far as I can tell, the perspective looks right, but I might be wrong. This is how i percieve the perspective you put in, if it deviates from your plan we were probably both wrong

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But the guy in the foreground looks kinda weak, being so low on the canvas. Size does matter, and if I got your idea right those two are about to fight. Now it looks like he is gonna sneak away as quietly as he can though. Personally I would have done it something like this. I use the same perspective and proportions i think you used, but altered the poses and the placement of the characters a little

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Sorry for putting in too many details, it was fun so I got carried away. Then I realized that it was a crit, not the "pimp my art"-thread... I hope it helps you anyway, see ya

[Im_not_random]

Thanks for the extremely detailed crit man!

That is roughly the perspective I went with, I was probably a bit ~ish with the construction of it.

Didn't consider the placement of characters as to suggest strength / disposition. Makes a lot of sense now you point it out though, will be handy to use that in future for effect, thanks! Will need to go back and redo that one in the near future for practice!



More recent work though, in between a few attempts to do character designs for 'Atrophy' I decided to plot one down for Joran ( He's currently probably my favourite of the bunch. Likely the deepest and most complex anyway. )... Ended up thinking 'bah! I'll try to throw a couple characters down on one page...'

This was the result, would appreciate some crit! ( Please note I sort of gave up on it when i saw it start to fall apart... I do really like the Joran design though... May improve on and use that as a final. )

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Characters (left - right, all main story arc timeline)

Kwi, Joran, Ashia, Heia (very lightly face sketched Heia, decided to call it a night and leave it as a 'good try' )

Couple things in particular I'd really like crit on - how's the composition? Couple of bits are potentially jarring, being a little stylistically different in places.. Unfortunately still finding my 'style' but getting there... So a little randomness likely.

Intent was for Kwi to be kinda wraithlike, Joran to be fairly laid back looking, Ashia sort of fierce / determined and Heia just being cheerful.

[Rubisko]

Hey man, starts top feel like a dialouge this, but here I go:

Charcter designs are tricky, so I decided to read about Athropy in your other thread. I didn't clearly get the hang of the genre: if it's fantasy or postapocalypse. So I can't really make a comment on that, I trust you've taken all the lore into account in the design already. What I did note about the story however is that you could benefit by reading a specific book, the Brothers Lionheart. It's a classic here in Sweden, and it's a good example of the modern people in a medivial world thing, here's the wiki page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brothers_Lionheart
With the rebirth-concept I guess you could could also benefit from reading "the priests tale" in Dan Simmons Book "Hyperion", it's about a people who are resurrected whenever they die but have become obsessed and enslaved by their own immortality as a consequence. May not be what you try to capture, but one might as well know as much about what others done as one can I guess. When I come to think of it, watching the three episodes about "Coon and friends" from southpark season 14 episode eleven. You can find them at southparkstudios.com (the official website, the episode stream is financed by ads, so expect some interruptions in the stream)

On composition there are some things I guess you could do. Triangular composition, diamond composition and the rule of odds should all be helpful when you're doing something like this, try to google them. I encourage you to read as much about is as you can, and if you find any good articles on it please let me know, I think this is the most fascinating subject when it comes to art

[Im_not_random]

Heyloes again!

There are elements of post apocalypse, fantasy, medieval and sci fi all bundled into one. Depends where in the timeline you are. The 'old world' is essentially left in a post apocalyptic wreck, but aside from a few quick references it's mostly just the subject of nostalgic daydreams or random conversations of the same nature.

This is more writing crit, so will try to keep it short, can create another thread in the writing / roleplay section for further discussion if necessary.

Basically there are 3 arcs, or ages.

1. Prologue - Very much fantasy / medieval - Ashia is introduced to the world in this age and her armour is aimed to reflect it.

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Based on a mix of plate armour and also a little influence from Mass Effect NC7 armour, to suggest people are a little wiser in the making of armour this time around. I plan to reduce the level of coverage in the main arc, to suggest she's adapted to favouring flexibility, given she has that nice little shield thing going down to protect her. Also to reinforce the experience she's gained, possibly bash in or dent parts of the shoulder pads etc. Then also, the scarf that originally belonged to Draidzn, hinting at the inner turmoil within

2. Main Arc - Fashions, tech from the old world becomes available to factions and the rich via trade with Elkra. - Joran's shield, trenchcoat and armour reflect modern or possibly near future armour types.

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I referenced this for inspiration when creating the underlay armor beneath his trenchcoat - http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_372pXNDb6u...frrcEIso/s1600 /MNU_armour2_views4_fin_GB_1100.jpg

It still needs development though, of course.

3. Final Arc - Mainly weapons tech development, the world hits a bit of an apex in the main arc, very little progress otherwise. Fancier armour, similar to Joran's becomes easier to obtain though, with most of the characters upgrading their equipment to suit. Line infantry and general reborns are forced to keep what they have though.

On top of all that though there are specific 'fashion' trends per nation and group. I.e. Elkra nationalists wear heavy, concealing robes when outwith their fortress city ( for example, when on trade runs. ). The outlaw faction, being desert based, wrap up in multiple layers of tattered cloth, with a nomadic sort of look to them. Within the inner confines of New Europa, everyone wears fashionable dresses, suits etc modelled similarly to modern day dresses. Where as serfs and peasant types in any random corner of the world would be forced to wear tattered old low quality cloth garments.

It's an eclectic mix, basically.

In terms of the world's lore - it's only really a few years old, so the lore will be fairly minimal. It's established also that no-one really has any clue what's really happened, how this world came to be or the likes. There are a few theories going around, but no real proven facts.

So I guess 'lore' is a bit of a misnomer, more ' recent history ', and 'systems' defining how things like magic, rebirth, general physics work.

Rebirth, depending on where you are on the class ladder, could either be a blessing or a curse. Mostly curse though. I want to weigh in on the psychological aspects of it but have characters weave humour around it as a form of catharsis or mere escape - see Draidzn's gamer attitude.

I'm not sure about reading other material when I know they'd be going on a different angle than I am... Plus my musicianship instincts tell me I'll pick something up and incorporate it subconciously by paying too much attention to how someone else went about it. I think I need to go about it as ' This is what I want to express / convey... Now, I'll figure out how to do so.. '

I have seen the south park episodes however. Death for Kenny is mostly just a pain in the ass however, with only minimal backlash in terms of Psychology. It's pretty empty and purely for the morbid humour aspect. Whenever any character development was built up it was shortly killed by turning it into a joke ( the scene where he off's himself in front of the others, telling them to remember it this time and those following come to mind ). What really would be crippling in reality is brushed off as merely aggrivating and used as comedy material. I'm trying to do something a bit more serious.

Any humour would need to try to make the whole thing light hearted and mostly be between Sparks and higher members of society. Serfs and peasants would have nothing to laugh about, living in squalour. Sparks and Royalty are, for the most part, overjoyed they can potentially continue living this relatively good-to-awesome life forever ( some Sparks excluded ). The not so fortunate struggle to survive in order to just avoid having to suffer the pain included in a slow death by starvation.

Many new reborns might think 'Well, this is awesome! I don't have to eat, drink or sleep again! I can just go mental all the time, and if I die? Bleh! I'll just be back doing the same thing tomorrow!' that changes as reality dawns on them. I want to make that clear distinction. Dieing is not nice, even if you are reborn again shortly afterwards.

A side story came to mind regarding an average day in the life of a normal reborn. It was seriously depressing, but would make good side material to flesh the world out. I can put up the rough gist of the synopsis in the writing / roleplay forum if it's of interest.


Looking up some composition stuff though... Looking... very.. complex hehe