Nisaren's Art - New WIP - Updated - 2/10/13

[nisaren]

Thank you all for your input. There's definitely much to be done. Both of you confirmed that there is a lot that I need to fix to allow easy understanding. Perhaps, I am trying to do too much too quickly. Either way, this is just a rough first draft. There will be many revisions I am sure.

Edit: In re-reading the post I did want to clarify one thing. The girl is the same person in each panel. The first panel has a close up of her overlaying a distance shot of her. It's not two different people. It's not clear because it's a rough draft and I didn't spend time trying to make things perfect. I just wanted to get a basic concept down. In the finished draft it'll hopefully be obvious.

I plan on adding a couple other sound effects and maybe a little more dialogue to make things clearer. If that doesn't help then... maybe it'll just be back to the drawing board.