Reply With Quoteo.o I think Mistrus's stuff is awesome....<_< I better not be alone in that opinion cuz if I am...>_< well thanks
Here are a few poems I wrote when I was I think 17 so two year ago.
The Rhythm
SPOILER! :
I’m Scared
SPOILER! :
No
SPOILER! :
Don’t
SPOILER! :
Strings
SPOILER! :
Cursed
SPOILER! :
I know some of them make me want to roll my eyes and grimace but I wrote them and I can't erase that fact. It keeps me humble.
Last edited by Mistrus; 01-17-2012 at 02:11 AM.
o.o I think Mistrus's stuff is awesome....<_< I better not be alone in that opinion cuz if I am...>_< well thanks
For every two minutes of glamour, there are eight hours of hard work."
I actually agree to that, not because I'm trying to save your arse, but because I actually thought that it really was good. And I may as well post a new poem (And don't laugh! I'm not an ass-kisser, I just write like one.)
Mother
CoffeeAdict16
My mother is the goddess of light to me,
She makes me happy, when she smiles,
She puts up with me, even though I tend to tick her off.
She loves me lots, she knows me well,
I love both my parents more than anything in the world,
But I love my mom more than you can imagine.
She’s the greatest cook, making delicious stuff.
She always put in her love and effort to make me happy.
When I was little and sick she was a super mom,
When I was hurt, she came to my rescue,
When I was in trouble, she made sure I did the right thing
These are just a few of the reasons why I love my Mother.
Guys those poems aren't good and you should stop being a hugbox
EDIT: and the poem above is not very good, it's just prose formatted differently, it makes no use of anything resembling poetic structure or technique and uses the language in completely the wrong way - no rhythm, no structure, no imagery, no emotional impact - and to top it off it's sentimental and expresses nothing unique or even particularly creative.
This thread could use more constructive criticism, and if you can't give constructive criticism then commenting on people's poems is a pointless exercise. Saying 'it sucks' or 'it's great' are equally useless, and the only purpose to the latter is to massage egos. Please don't defile the noble poetic tradition like this
Last edited by Delphinus; 01-20-2012 at 06:47 PM.
Originally Posted by Fenn
You forgot your F in Modesty.
Del could word things a bit nicer (do watch it) but yeah. I myself am a sworn enemy of meter and rhyme, and generally am not a fan of poetry, so I'm not really able to help much, but I can recognize some of these poems could definitely use some work. I am certainly not in a position to go about helping, but I imagine Del might be able and willing to help if anyone is willing to listen.
Just sayin'.
Del, I know the poems aren't the best however those two seem to like them. We can't change that. Could you tell me what you found wrong with my poems, just general curiosity and maybe a bit of masochism on my part but lay it out there for me. Tell me exactly what you think is wrong with them.
I know the rhyming is simplistic and a bit childish and the structure is awkward and strange but still go ahead! Tear it apart! lol I need a good lashing critique. Keeping humble and what not.
Last edited by Mistrus; 01-21-2012 at 12:53 AM.
I am a bit disturbed by Mistrus' post but xD who cares. And as for the poems that have no meter or rhythmic scheme, well aren't fucking experts, Are we? And how the fuck are we gonna remember each scheme or meter? I aint gonna be remembering that crap while I write a poem. I use creativity, which in someone's somewhat realistic and somewhat annoying, isn't the way to go. (Of course, it aint but...) Anyways, I'mma shut up now X.X
For every two minutes of glamour, there are eight hours of hard work."
I liked you poems Mistrus, my favorite being Scared.
Don't take life to seriously, no one ever makes it out alive.
I don't think you're thinking about this the right way. Meter and rhyme are tools; they give poetry a repeated structure. You write prose in sentences and paragraphs, and in a similar way you write poetry according to a meter and rhyme scheme. Now, there are types of poetry that abandon both of them, but, according to Robert Frost, a famous poet: ""Poetry without rhyme is like tennis without a net". The same applies with meter. While neither rhyme nor meter are necessary in writing a poem, it's probably best to learn the formal structures before attempting to deviate from them, in the same way as with visual art and realism: you have to learn the rules before you can break them.
In regards to "not being fucking experts", if you want to write good poetry, you ought to read and study it. Which would make you an expert. Not as much of an expert as a literature professor, but an expert nonetheless. It doesn't seem like just writing poetry without paying attention to other poets would make you improve at all - you'd have nothing to judge yourself against, you'd have to be the progenitor of dozens of techniques that have already been invented, and you'd be unable to use cross-textual references to evoke particular images.
You forgot your F in Modesty.
Generally I think poems need a strong rhythm and meaning behind the words.
I'm no expert and I haven't studied (I'm busy studying the ocean at the moment) but I really enjoy poety.
Don't take life to seriously, no one ever makes it out alive.
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