Reply With QuotePredator vs. Prey
Black Night
Cold Air
Silent Flying of the Owl
Predator verses Prey
Watch for the Night Owl
Little Mice
Watch for the Night Owl
You could be his in one fell swoop
Black Night
Cool Air
Silent Flying of the Owl
Preditor verses Prey
Had I seen you face
I would weep
Had I felt your love
I would weep
Had I heard you voice
I would weep
Had I learned to love
I would weep
Sorrow
Sorrow is what fills me
It is not until I find you
That I could learn to love
Last edited by Kenzieroo; 10-10-2011 at 11:12 PM.
Predator vs. Prey
Black Night
Cold Air
Silent Flying of the Owl
Predator verses Prey
Watch for the Night Owl
Little Mice
Watch for the Night Owl
You could be his in one fell swoop
Black Night
Cool Air
Silent Flying of the Owl
Preditor verses Prey
POEMS - SO EMO THAT I'LL POST ONE
Near the oregano
Under the octopi
An aged king will cry
His bearded face of woe
Dripping chocolate delight
And lighting up the night
EDIT - ANOTHER SENSATIONAL PIECE
I wrote a dozen poems
Each worse than the last
Then tired of emo hymns
I raised a silly mast
It made my vessel float;
This is the poem I wrote.
EDIT 2 - I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PUT MORE NAUTICAL IMAGERY INTO THE OPENING LINES OF THAT SECOND ONE
Last edited by Delphinus; 10-20-2011 at 12:30 PM.
Originally Posted by Fenn
You forgot your F in Modesty.
I like you're poems.
Black Fog
Zero Vision
Tears falling as red as the cold blood that flow from my friends
Deep is the red river
Dark is the sky black fog filled
Red Yellow Orange
The new grass
Trees
Flowers
Flat are the cars
Silver leaves cover the roads
Crumpled Mountains
Fallen Sky
Sunken Oceans
Black Fog
Zero Vision
Tears falling as red as the cold blood that flow from my friends
Last edited by Kenzieroo; 10-20-2011 at 06:10 PM.
Baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby
Baby baby baby baby baby
I really love iambic pentameter.
I feel this is the best work I've ever produced.
Last edited by Delphinus; 10-22-2011 at 09:47 AM.
You forgot your F in Modesty.
Are you responsible for Friday?
Of course I'm not, I write formal poetry, not free verse.
If we analyse the lyrics of Friday we find that it lacks any semblance of formality and is written in no classically recognised metre. Take the chorus, for example:
SPOILER! :
Firstly, we find it follows a AABAAB rhyme scheme, where the rhymes are created by simply repeating the word that came before. Certain literary critics would claim this makes the rhymes somehow inferior to a more varied rhyme scheme, but I disagree. While it could be argued to be laziness on behalf of the writer, it doesn't necessarily render the rhymes clumsy or inadequate.
Now, onto the metre of Friday. I'll highlight stressed syllables in red and leave unstressed syllables black. I'll also insert dashes between syllables in polysyllabic words.
SPOILER! :
As we can see, the pattern of red is irregular. Compare that to my verse, and you'll find that each second syllable is stressed (from the first syllable, making it technically trochaic pentameter) in much the same way as in Shakespeare's work. I'll illustrate below, first with my poem, then with an excerpt from Shakespeare (who uses iambic pentameter, here ending with a weak final syllable).
SPOILER! :
SPOILER! :
Last edited by Delphinus; 10-22-2011 at 11:39 AM.
You forgot your F in Modesty.
Here's one that I wrote.
Loveless
Because the world does not love.
It sheds no tears and cries no rivers,
It does not gaze calmly at the night above,
But instead emits briefly its sullen shivers.
The solemn sky erodes to sickness,
Its puttering spits gnaw the lonely life,
The eyeless stars becomes no witness,
To the empty world`s loveless strife.
The blatant black sea closes its mouth,
Its tranquil waves abusively shove,
And all shall whimper, scream, and doubt,
That the world does no longer love.
Beauiful. Well done.
Omg, best poem ever.
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