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Thread: Poems

  1. #21
    Three Trio Tres Member Kenzieroo's Avatar
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    Had I seen you face
    I would weep

    Had I felt your love
    I would weep

    Had I heard you voice
    I would weep

    Had I learned to love
    I would weep

    Sorrow
    Sorrow is what fills me
    It is not until I find you
    That I could learn to love
    Last edited by Kenzieroo; 10-10-2011 at 11:12 PM.

  2. #22
    Three Trio Tres Member Kenzieroo's Avatar
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    Predator vs. Prey

    Black Night
    Cold Air

    Silent Flying of the Owl
    Predator verses Prey

    Watch for the Night Owl
    Little Mice

    Watch for the Night Owl
    You could be his in one fell swoop

    Black Night
    Cool Air

    Silent Flying of the Owl
    Preditor verses Prey

  3. #23
    Super Senior Member Delphinus's Avatar
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    POEMS - SO EMO THAT I'LL POST ONE

    Near the oregano
    Under the octopi
    An aged king will cry
    His bearded face of woe
    Dripping chocolate delight
    And lighting up the night

    EDIT - ANOTHER SENSATIONAL PIECE

    I wrote a dozen poems
    Each worse than the last
    Then tired of emo hymns
    I raised a silly mast
    It made my vessel float;
    This is the poem I wrote.

    EDIT 2 - I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE PUT MORE NAUTICAL IMAGERY INTO THE OPENING LINES OF THAT SECOND ONE
    Last edited by Delphinus; 10-20-2011 at 12:30 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn
    You forgot your F in Modesty.

  4. #24
    Three Trio Tres Member Kenzieroo's Avatar
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    I like you're poems.


    Black Fog
    Zero Vision

    Tears falling as red as the cold blood that flow from my friends

    Deep is the red river
    Dark is the sky black fog filled

    Red Yellow Orange
    The new grass
    Trees
    Flowers

    Flat are the cars
    Silver leaves cover the roads

    Crumpled Mountains
    Fallen Sky
    Sunken Oceans

    Black Fog
    Zero Vision

    Tears falling as red as the cold blood that flow from my friends
    Last edited by Kenzieroo; 10-20-2011 at 06:10 PM.

  5. #25
    Super Senior Member Delphinus's Avatar
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    Baby baby baby baby baby
    Baby baby baby baby baby
    Baby baby baby baby baby
    Baby baby baby baby baby

    I really love iambic pentameter.

    I feel this is the best work I've ever produced.
    Last edited by Delphinus; 10-22-2011 at 09:47 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn
    You forgot your F in Modesty.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Hamachi's Avatar
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    Are you responsible for Friday?

  7. #27
    Super Senior Member Delphinus's Avatar
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    Of course I'm not, I write formal poetry, not free verse.

    If we analyse the lyrics of Friday we find that it lacks any semblance of formality and is written in no classically recognised metre. Take the chorus, for example:

    SPOILER! :
    It's Friday, Friday
    Gotta get down on Friday
    Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
    Friday, Friday
    Gettin' down on Friday
    Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend


    Firstly, we find it follows a AABAAB rhyme scheme, where the rhymes are created by simply repeating the word that came before. Certain literary critics would claim this makes the rhymes somehow inferior to a more varied rhyme scheme, but I disagree. While it could be argued to be laziness on behalf of the writer, it doesn't necessarily render the rhymes clumsy or inadequate.

    Now, onto the metre of Friday. I'll highlight stressed syllables in red and leave unstressed syllables black. I'll also insert dashes between syllables in polysyllabic words.

    SPOILER! :
    It's Fri-day, Fri-day
    Got-ta get down on Fri-day
    Every-bod-y's look-in' for-ward to the week-end, week-end
    Fri-day, Fri-day
    Get-tin' down on Fri-day
    Every-bod-y's look-in' for-ward to the week-end


    As we can see, the pattern of red is irregular. Compare that to my verse, and you'll find that each second syllable is stressed (from the first syllable, making it technically trochaic pentameter) in much the same way as in Shakespeare's work. I'll illustrate below, first with my poem, then with an excerpt from Shakespeare (who uses iambic pentameter, here ending with a weak final syllable).

    SPOILER! :
    Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by
    Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by
    Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by
    Ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by ba-by


    SPOILER! :
    To be, or not to be, that is the ques-tion:
    Last edited by Delphinus; 10-22-2011 at 11:39 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn
    You forgot your F in Modesty.

  8. #28
    Here's one that I wrote.

    Loveless


    Because the world does not love.
    It sheds no tears and cries no rivers,
    It does not gaze calmly at the night above,
    But instead emits briefly its sullen shivers.

    The solemn sky erodes to sickness,
    Its puttering spits gnaw the lonely life,
    The eyeless stars becomes no witness,
    To the empty world`s loveless strife.

    The blatant black sea closes its mouth,
    Its tranquil waves abusively shove,
    And all shall whimper, scream, and doubt,
    That the world does no longer love.

  9. #29
    Fenn
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Kyokatsu View Post
    Here's one that I wrote.

    Loveless


    Because the world does not love.
    It sheds no tears and cries no rivers,
    It does not gaze calmly at the night above,
    But instead emits briefly its sullen shivers.

    The solemn sky erodes to sickness,
    Its puttering spits gnaw the lonely life,
    The eyeless stars becomes no witness,
    To the empty world`s loveless strife.

    The blatant black sea closes its mouth,
    Its tranquil waves abusively shove,
    And all shall whimper, scream, and doubt,
    That the world does no longer love.
    Beauiful. Well done.

  10. #30
    Three Trio Tres Member Kenzieroo's Avatar
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    Omg, best poem ever.

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