yeah lol, don't know about narrators, actually i never read a manga or a comic with narrators. so it might just be me.
There is always a narrator, the difference is that in one, the narrator tells what is happening and in the other the narrator SHOWS what is happening.
...Okay, firstly, isn't there a rule about gratuitous txt speak somewhere? This is just ridiculous.
You obviously have better grammar and typing skills than what you show in your posts, because you are fairly literate in the pages, so why not use that in at least the title? If you want people to take your request for help seriously, try typing in a more professional manner. I can hardly read what you're saying.
Now, onto your request... What use is good art when you're making a comic? A comic is a perfect blend of art and storytelling... It is not just art. If your art was Takeshi Obata level, no one would read if they couldn't understand what was going on!
Good art is for illustrators... Even then, they need other skills as well. A person standing there looking at the screen is boring, no matter how nice the art is.
You really need to work on your paneling. It doesn't flow with the actions at all... And some panels are randomly connected inside bigger panels, which is just awkward. Look at the negi page ram posted before- every separate view is a separate panel, some of which are intersecting (because that's okay, though shonen likes to stay away from diagonals and intersects often).
Also, they need neatening. They're a little unclean.
Then, this is really lacking the action it needs. You need more emphasis lines... When he moves out of the way of the bullet (or it misses him, I can't really tell, I'm going off the not-surprised facial expression), there needs to be something that shows HIS movement at this time. His hair, motion lines... The bullet itself is done well, though.
But when it's shot, that really needs a lot more emphasis.
Also, when he notices the bullet, rather than a large exclamation mark, maybe... Well, using the Negi page again, the creator uses a small spiky bubble to represent eyes/head suddenly flicking to a location. Generally, subtleties are better than obvious dialogue. You could still put an exclamation mark there, but it may be better as a small dialogue bubble.
Speaking of dialogue, you might wanna do that in Photoshop with a nicer font (anime ace, action man, there's quite a few "for comic" fonts around). You have Manga Studio, so maybe dialogue boxes in that, and text in Photoshop? I'm not familiar with the functions of each, but the bad quality bubbles and text kinda weird me out. Be sure to plan in the bubbles while drawing, by the way, they're part of the art, too. They can't cover anything important and it must be easy for our eyes to tell which one to go to.
The sound effects aren't bad. Not bad at all.
The backgrounds are okay, but sometimes randomly disappear when they could still be there.
as for your art, all I can really say now is study, study, study. Proportions and anatomy are a little out of whack.
Sorry for the textwall and bluntness. OTL
EDIT: Bolded parts for easier reading.
Last edited by Halo; 10-05-2011 at 08:08 PM.
WHAT !!!!!! m dead ... may be i am rushing blindly. WORKING ALONE IS TOUGH WORK ....
what is MANGA if it is not understandable....
MAY BE I SHOULD DRAW SOMETHING BY LOOKING SOME videos nd SNAPSHOT THOSE ACTIONS nd represent it in a page. this might help....
m planning to make a page from a video i think this might solve every problem that u have mentioned.
till then wait..............
I actually meant to at some point compare it to a movie in regards to techniques, so that wouldn't be a bad idea if I'm reading that right.
But next time you post, I swear I will ragequit if I see a three letter word spelled with one letter.
Looking forward to the next page to see how you go~
movies won't solve your problem in paneling though, try referencing some manga panels. and try comparing it to yours, why is that manga so easy to understand and so forth.
haven't read that many manga, but there are a lot of manga out there who doesn't care about manga size panels.
this one time I read ao no exorcist and it's hurting my eyes where the creator put useless scenes in one big panel, and put a very important scene in one small panel. D:<
correct way would be something like this
big panels should be to those who are bigger scenes and small panels should be at some just extra scenes or some scenes that are just about to make a fire or something.
back AGAIN TO MY NOOBNESS
its been long since the last one so i turned out really bad within 2 months
so here another page
jst want to know
what else can be more done
and more importantly am i doing it correct ...........???????????
Just a suggestion, but you could really streamline your process by focusing more on grasping all that Manga Studio has to offer. I literally just got it, but as I've found out, it has quite an extensive dialogue box folder chock full of patterns that are adjustable(you can even create your own). The program itself is all inclusive. It has tons of shading options, dialogue options, background option, etc. It really makes it a faster process. The only hold back is learning it all.
You could make good use of line weight in this, as is will lessen the clutter and get the focus where it needs to be.
My only other suggestion is to hit up a manga website and read a few. Kind of get a grasp on the style and how the panels progress from one to the other. You can pick up some really good ideas from it.
Otherwise, you seem to be doing well. Keep challenging yourself and drawing.
umm.... i dont have those shading options and background options ... because its a demo version of manga studio ex 4 .
whenevr i draw a page it seems always incomplete to me ...because of the same.
Try and get it. It really is a big help and I got it on Ebay for $80, which is really good for a $300 program. Otherwise, if you're looking for a good program with a bunch of features, download Gimp. It has the pressure sensitivity option and offers a basic wide range of tools.