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Thread: A Pirate's Life For Me (Ugarit)

  1. #21
    The hairy, ape-like creature whos face was firmly planted into the splintered table, sturred at the sound of raised voices. His thoughts were a trickle of sense weaved between a bombardment of numbed, drunken bullshit. Ale had always been good to Groh, but the ale in this place was too flat and watered down. After seventeen, they had finally done the trick and after a few hours he regained enough conciousness to take in the world around him and found he was sitting at a table with four others who were arguing about being catpain. He could almost remember why, but a barricade of liquir blocked his thought process. Fuck it.

    As he lifted his head with his forearm he smelt the four day old vomit that had now been ingrained in the dark fur that covered his body. He through his head back to get a view of the people around the table but could only make out blurs and colours. Fuck it.

    'You know what you people need is a Captian with bollocks!' he yelled, before taking another swig of warm, watered down ale. 'A captian with bollocks so big you could choke a whale with only one.' On the belt around his waist was a pouch of tabacco, inside which were several dried out leaves. He grabbed one and began to roll a bad impression of a cigarette as he spoke. 'I've sailed on many ships since I was only a lad. Since a time when my bollocks were only pebbles, sure. By fuck, you should see them now.' He took a match from another pouch, struck it on the table and held it too the end of his make shift cigarette, not really caring weather anyone was listening to him or not. 'But those captains were afraid of the seas. Do ya hear me talking!? A fucking Captian afriad of the bastard sea he is sailing on! Oceans left unseen. Treasures left unlifted. Virgins left unenlightened. All because they had no bollocks.' He took a long drag and exhaled it in the face of someone nearby. 'Well fuck that game! My bollocks are ready to scurge the seas for it all! All booze included.'

    The hadozee seemed to find this very funny and held back the vomit in his throat as he laughed.

  2. #22
    One Thousand Member Regantor's Avatar
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    "Smell'a what? Smell'a delicious? Smell of tasty, tasty fishes?" The first bit was completely straight faced, but it degenerated into a sputter of childish laughter when she realised her words rhymed. Probally a good thing, seeing as she was not above starting a fight with the infamous, rather imposing man. "...What... do better?..."

    Sort of forgetting what she was doing, the merbarbarian hung onto Zach's chest rather closely now. Fishy thing had zero sence of personal space, but at least she was now distracted by Blackpool and thus not making any more advances.

    Then... Then came the hadozee... web-armed... chimp thing. Her eye luridly questioned his existance, whilst the upper rearmost fin of her tail sort of nudged against his furry forearm uselessly.

    "...He's... What?... Buy me a booze, some one, I... I can't think... hairy?..."
    Last edited by Regantor; 08-16-2011 at 09:50 PM.

  3. #23
    Sir-Mass-a-Lot Sylux's Avatar
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    'Scary...' Thought Lacia... "Back to business: You know, merbarbarian, being in charge of the booze means you can do whatever you want with the booze, whenever you want."

  4. #24
    "You and you're bollocks should be comedians" Zach Figured he had won over enough votes to be captain, so didn't bother trying to convince the new guy.
    "So are we going to vote for real now or what?"

  5. #25
    Fifty Fifty Member Evil_Cake's Avatar
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    As Blackpool walked passed, Amanda twisted around in her chair to yell after him. "I wouldn't mind seeing those boats of yours!" Her eyes were shining with joy for having the chance to not only see, but to get talked at by such an infamous pirate. She stared off into the crowd his entourage formed, with thoughts of gaining such infamy for herself someday soon.

    When she turned back to the table, a giant gorilla was up and talking. "WHA-?! Err..." It took some self control to calm herself down in order to look more dignified.

    "Anyways... if this fish gets control of our booze, we're not going to have any left after the first hour at sea..."

  6. #26
    Sir-Mass-a-Lot Sylux's Avatar
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    "I suppose that would be best, but you must understand that I don't wish to inhibit a certain one's sensibility from happiness. Since I trust the endless booze will be quite appealing to the merperson, and I've become so captivated (read: forced) into thinking this person the best, my vote is on Zach," balloted Lacia.

  7. #27
    The fin of the half-fish slapped into his forearm, the odour of the residue left behind met Grohs nostrils, recoiling them in horror. 'By fuck, my fishy friend, you smell like my sisters pussy!' He let out another wail of laughter, this one much more high pitched than the last. He clearly thought this was a good one.

    After he controlled himself he added 'But use better not be letting a anyone in charge of the booze. Booze is for all. What kind of shite-headed captain would suggest such a thing?'

  8. #28
    Fifty Fifty Member Evil_Cake's Avatar
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    Amanda lit up at the ape's words. "Yeah! This guy has a good head on his shoulders! This... umm.. what are you exactly? Other than big and strong..."

  9. #29
    'I'm a hadozee, young lady. We fight, we fish and we fuck. My name is Groh'

    He smiled and took a large drag on his cigarette and blew it in the middle of the table.

    'At your service, my dear.'

  10. #30
    One Thousand Member Regantor's Avatar
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    "Y-....Y-Yeah!" It took serious effort on her part to tear her eye away from the awakened gorrila-thing, but once she did, Jang ethusasically jaunted her body onto Lacia's lap with ease. Totally curling her arms around his head in a motion that was probally supposed to be a hug, she just smilled and nodded repeatedly. "Zach is captain and Jang control all I drink, yeah! That's how it goes!"

    "First freind would let drink, so woman not a first freind, no, a liar!" She said everything like it was a pearl of wisdom, sticking her nose up. The pussy thing she didn't understand, and the fish thing she already seen as a positive, so.... Negotiation time? "Listen, Orangulation Grouhe.... I share booze nicely for nicely person, not a worry. Good time always with someone who enjoy likour. I drink too much, and you steal away, see? Zachy should be a captain, he has a face fur also, hear?..."
    Last edited by Regantor; 08-16-2011 at 10:19 PM.

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