‘I knew it!’ Colin bellowed right in Michaels face ‘I knew you would pussy out! I’ve wasted my whole fucking afternoon to see you stand there in your underpants shaking your head like a god damned retard. What the hell, man?’
Colin turned his attention over to Kayleigh, Jane and Markus who all stood there chuckling, all in obvious agreement. Colin threw up his hands in a questioning gesture, then turned back to Michael.
‘You’re a faggot. End of story.’
‘I’m not a faggot, you prick!’ Michael snapped back. ‘It’s just that now we’re out here and I’ve seen the size of this damn place, I know I ain’t gonna do it. Comprehend? I mean, come on man, a professional swimmer couldn’t do this.’
‘Then you should have kept you’re skinny Irish mouth shut then, shouldn’t you? I could be back in town right now watching the Cannack’s on that new big screen TV in Barry’s, but instead I’m standing here listening to you make shitty excuses.’ He rolled his eyes and shook his head as if to say ‘typical’. ‘You’re one big disappointment, Mickey. You really are.’
‘Fuck me? I don’t need to make bullshit daredevil-tri athlete promises, that I pussy out on anyway, to try to get laid. Do you honestly think any chick would be impressed with this? Do you honestly think Jane thinks your anything more than a cowardly douche?’
Michael went bright red. Oh, Colin…You asshole.
They’d been best buddies since grade school. Neither was particularly smart or funny or popular all the way through high school, but when they both got accepted into the University of British Colombia; Michael became Colin’s whipping boy. It wasn’t so much bullying, as such, but Colin would always put Michael down to make himself look better, normally in front of girls or the ‘cool kids’. Today being only one example. Colin knew Michael really liked Jane, naturally, most guys would. She looked like Jasmine Bleeth in her prime in the first series of Baywatch. She wasn’t pretty, she was beautiful. Naturally beautiful too, none of this two hundred tons of make up and a bad UV sun tan stuff. She was the real deal. Also, she was a really nice person too, funny and smart, but she was only human and having Colin ridicule and embarrass him like this was only going to compound the notion in her mind that he was indeed a loser. Which he was, he’d admit that openly. But not to Jane, he wanted Jane to think he was more than he was. Michael knew what he was about to do was stupid, dangerous, damned near suicidal, but he needed to do this. A guy does strange things when he’s trying to impress a girl.
‘Alright. I’m gonna do it.’ Michael announced proudly.
‘You’re gonna what?’ Colin questioned, squinting slightly.
‘I said I’m gonna do it. Are you deaf as well as tiny dicked?’
Colin blushed slightly, and the quick witted put-down bought a smile to the face of Jane. He had to do it now.
‘Well, maybe you’re not such a pansy after all, but I’ll believe it when I see it.’ Colin opened his arms towards the edge of the lake and gave Michael a sarcastic grin. ‘The stage is yours.’
Michael gazed over to the faces of the other three. Kayleigh was chewing her gum at that annoyingly high volume like she always did, and twiddling with her blonde shoulder length hair, in some poor attempt to look seductive, like some Detroit city whore at the start of her evening shift. God, he hated that girl, but he had to put up with her constant presence because Colin wanted to get in her panties. That fact that he had been working on that task for 2 months proved how useless the guy was with women.
Markus. Typical, pale, boring, emo Markus. The guy could make a funeral look like a party. He wasn’t a particularly bad guy, just a dull one. The sort of guy you try your best not to stand next too at a party, or else you will have to listen to him talk about his parents cat or some other utterly uninteresting crap for two hours, before you gave up the need to be civil and just walked away from him, leaving him to talk to an empty space. That was probably what pissed him off the most about Markus, he didn’t care if you were listening to him, and he just liked to talk at you for hours on end. Some people just have no social skills.
And then there was Jane. The wind caught her long brown hair and carried it high enough to reveal the beauty of her face. He wanted her more than air to breath. He thought about her a lot in the shower and just before he went to bed at night, normally concentrating on the memory of when Kayleigh dropped ice cream cone down her back one day on the soccer field in campus, making her jump up and her right tit popped out of her skimpy top. That memory had been called upon numerous times when he was alone, and it never seemed to lose its appeal.
Micheal smiled at all three of them, but focused the longest on Jane, before turning to Colin and saying; ‘You’re about to see something really special.’ And with that, he leapt into the water.
It was one of those random suggestions that you think at the time is really stupid, but for some reason everyone else seems to think will be an awesome way to spend a Sunday afternoon. It was Michael’s idea, of course. Only he would have the lack of common sense needed to even contemplate something so half-baked. But everyone else was up for it. Really up for it. So it was up to shit-scared-of-everything little Mickey to put his money where his mouth was and drive everyone up towards Lake Aparen, about 40 or 50 miles north of Vancouver, in a region of Mount Seymour Provincial Park that almost nobody had been before. It took about two and a half hours, including the lunch stop, where Markus, uncharacteristically for him, lead the conversation. He explained an entire episode of ‘CSI: Miami’. A whole episode. A bacon double cheeseburger had never felt so long to eat.