One Thousand Member
Just gonna point this out, Rei. I may redline later if I have the time.
The boy has some very flat shoulders. He needs more downward slope in them for them to act more like the human bodies does. Also, with that change made, you'd also need to bring down the angle of the collar bone. His neck also looks really old due to the boldness of the lines for the clavicle(? Sorry, really tired at the moment.). I'll probably redline him when I get some time (After I sleep most likely.) and figure out anything else that is wrong with him.
999 Knights Member
Super Senior Member
Hey, Rei, good to see you again! :> I was really excited to see you get a thread up.
First lemme say that I really like this piece as far as mood and composition go. The poses are very expressive. I love the boy's face and the maternal mood that the other figure encompasses. It does seem like you ran into some anatomical hiccups, though.
I think you need to take a little sketch break to study how collarbones work. Right now you express the neck and collarbone in a very 2D way with lines. It works fairly alright with lineart, but it's pretty impossible to color/shade once you think about it. The forms are too undeveloped to support shading. In my redline I tried to keep that heavy definition you tend to utilize in your work in the collarbones. I like to draw them that way, too.
For specific suggestions on this, I would suggest that you "push" the collarbones together so that gap in between them isn't so wide. Also try to avoid extending the line of the collarbone out all the way to the shoulder. Anatomically, collarbones literally do wrap around the shoulder, but it is a little hard to see and shouldn't be defined with line. As for the neck, don't connect the jaw to the center of the collarbones with a single line! There is a complex working of muscles in the throat/trapezius area, and I think there are hundreds of ways to stylistically define them! Your current method is causing the throat to seem flat and almost hollow in your coloring. You definitely don't have to be as detailed as I tend to be with necks (which is just out of habit now, orz), but I really do think it would benefit you greatly to experiment.
The woman's lower figure seemed to be conflicting with her upper figure. In order to have breasts that big, a body has to have some weight on the bottom to balance things out, right? So truly all I did was add some fat on the edges. I also rounded out the shape of the breasts so they were more natural-looking. As a side note, leave some room for the deltoid and pectoral muscles--basically, just try to avoid extending the lines from the chests in your figures so close to the shoulders. The closer the armpit line gets to the shoulder, the more 2D the form looks.
I also just gave the boy a less boxy figure so it didn't conflict with the fluid shape of the woman. I disagree with Jai's shoulder critique for him because it looks like he's scrunching his shoulders upward, am I right?
Lastly, with her face, I just lowered the eyebrows and pointed the chin to make it work with the downward-pointing perspective you have going on. It makes her face look a little more organic, in my opinion.
Also, sorry for my poopy lineart, haha. You've told me before that my sketching style is really wispy and soft, so I just put a sharpen filter over it so it didn't argue as much with your existing lines. XD
Also, forgive me if none of that made sense. OTL
Last edited by Celestial-Fox; 07-29-2011 at 07:25 AM.
Dude, your linework has gotten craaaaaazy off the chain, I'm envious!
999 Knights Member
When sparky says that he is envious of your line-work you might as well call Chuck Norris a pussy!!!
Originally Posted by GunZet
Wow, I so want the same 2006-2010 chart as you.
How much did you draw during that time frame? What books did you use? How did you get so FRICKING good?!
Thank you for the crits everyone, especially Seef D:
And @Leannah: I drew pretty much every day, and hounded people for crits on the old MT. I used no books, i just copied people who had stylistic things that I wanted. Its not that amazing OTL
I can't figure out how to continue coloring this, so... If someone out there can help, i would be grateful.
Ruler of the Seventh Empire
I'm not the biggest color person, but I can toss a few tips on it. There's that large body of water that makes up a good percentage of the background, so you want to put some extra attention on it. Meaning toss in some more detail, get rid of those black lines, and replace em with darker blues or highlights. Speaking of highlights, add more highlights, use some ref pics if you have to. That also goes for the tube Tei is in, give material a bit more thought. Judging by the upper background, it's sunny out, so do more with lighting the skin and everything, that'll bring it out a lot more, along with darker contrast on the characters.
That's about all I have to say, just unflatten the water, and add some better contrast with deeper colors and more highlights.
101 Dalmations Member
But you are a "person of color" ;D -drum roll hi hat-
Originally Posted by GunZet
@Rei: Like Gunz said, add more highlights. The picture in general is pretty dark, and the light that IS there, I cant really tell which direction its coming from. MAKE THAT WATER SHIMMER!
A color redline (lol):
The main thing is that there isn't enough contrast and highlights. Also try being less monochromatic with colors. Don't be afraid to try different color combinations to shade.
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