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Thread: Son44's "Cool stories, bro!"

  1. #1
    Regular Member Son44's Avatar
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    Son44's "Cool stories, bro!"

    So I've been thinking about posting here for like... half a year, but I've been too sporadic when it comes to writing (and drawing).

    Good news is: from now on I will try to post something every day. Just outlines of ideas, short stories, my thoughts (about different stuff), possibly essays etc.
    Ofcourse this means that quality will go up and down from time to time.

    So to start off, here is something I wrote a little while back

    SPOILER! :

    The swatter hit its target with deadly accuracy. The hunter had struck its prey; the bomber had delivered the payload on target, the marksman hit an inner 10. Was it pleasant to look at? All of the gooey shit that used to be the body, smeared all over the place like someone had unexpectedly imploded. Yes, but for all he cared he could have won the Olympics with 5 milliseconds to spare, cured cancer, aids and tumours pemanently, achieved world peace or just received a raise.

    He sighed with great relief, but what now? Someone had to remove the fingerprints, clean up the blood and dump the body in a safe location. Sweat poured down his forehead. He masterfully navigated the transportation device into position and found some paper that was lying in the vicinity. “Should be able to get rid of it...” Carefully pushed the body onto it and lifted off.

    He flew slowly, but steadily forward through the air. The floor of the transport was full of square shaped holes and by god; he didn’t want the body to drop through one of them. The dumpsite was right up ahead. Beneath him the rugged city terrain disappeared and soon he was soaring over open terrain, Mother Nature. Free to do what he loved, free to practice his hobby. He smiled with relief, almost laughed! “Finally! Who’s a pain in the ass now?!”

    The body was out of the picture, but the crime scene was still a problem. He walked quickly into the bathroom; found some soap and two pieces of cloth. Half a minute later he was back. “Still no police or feds in sight...” The wet cloth, soaked in all sort of chemicals, swept over the scene. He used his long years of training, remembering to sweep in circle, wet the cloth regularly and to leave it so that it would dry. He went back into the bathroom and disposed of the equipment.
    He sat down and dove right into the pages.

    Something was wrong. There was a small...buzzing sound? Turning his head he saw the replacement, charging at full speed directly towards his face.

    He went for the swatter.


    I posted this on a while back
    SPOILER! :

    “Taxi!!” He plunked into the backseat. “Let’s see...” He fumbled around in his brown, wet pockets and said; “Take me to Spiegel Street.” He searched anxiously through his jacket and trousers, but the only thing he found was an old receipt, a long thin thread and some sellotape.

    “Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t have any cash so...” He leaned forward. “I can pay you when we rea...” The rest of the sentence refused to take off from his lungs. In front of him was an orange balloon with a taxi driver’s cap on. Slowly it turned and a pair of crudely drawn eyes, a mouth and something that resembled a nose appeared. He fell backwards and tried to reach for the door.

    “Don’t” said a mild, but strict voice, “You’ll just upset him and even make him feel worse...”

    “Huh?!” He turned his head. Right next to him sat a small walrus. It was dressed in a black suit, design shoes and had a black fedora on placed on his head.

    “Just relax” said the walrus, “You should just pay him with what you have”
    “Are you su...” he was cut off.

    “Yes. The sellotape and thread should be enough. Isn’t that right Paul?”

    The balloon nodded slowly. Suddenly the cap fell off and the balloon launched into the roof. “Hold on!” The walrus leaned forward and taped the thread on the balloon and tied it to a small crotchet shaped thing that had been put into the seat.

    “...There we go” said the walrus. The crudely drawn face changed and a rather awkward smile appeared. Slowly it turned forward and the taxi stopped.

    “Seems like you’ve reached your address” said the walrus and leaned backward.
    He turned his head and indeed, he was outside his apartment. He hadn’t notice them starting in the first place.

    “Didn’t I tell you? He’s a hell of a driver!” said the walrus and guffawed. Meanwhile the balloon had turned and displayed a huge, but crudely drawn grin.
    Last edited by Son44; 08-11-2011 at 04:54 PM.

  2. #2
    Regular Member Son44's Avatar
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    So, I forgot to post yesterday (lack of sleep and I forgot it)

    Here's a "brain drain" I did a couple of minutes ago. Trying to work more on dialouge. I'll post something better tomorrow :P

    SPOILER! :

    …..
    ”No, no, never”
    “Who’s supposed to do it then?”
    “Not me, because I have a serious problem dealing with it”
    “So? You’re older than me. You have more experience than me.”
    “And you’re younger and you need the experience”
    “Jesus Christ, why won’t you do it?”
    “You really want to know the reason why?”
    “Try me”
    “Right, it’s because I know that if I walk in there I’ll be swallowed whole by the freaking establishment. They’ll do things to me...”
    “Ok... Like?
    “First of all they’ll force me to behave like want me to and if I try to move forward or do something unexpected I’ll be asked to leave. Secondly, if I manage to follow, behave and do nothing unexpected I’ll still be guarded on four sides by those fucking Nazis that’ll keep on talking, breathing and most of all sweating. “
    “That’s it?”
    “When I do arrive at the destination they’ll start asking me personal questions, like: “What do you want? (I don’t actually give a damn). Large? (You’re gonna need it, fatso!). Anything else? (Too bad we haven’t spat in that one!) Outside or inside? (Like you’ll get out of here alive!) “I just can’t take it!”
    “Jesus man, I had no idea...”
    “... Hey, look! There’s a flying unicorn...”
    “Aw... How cute...”
    ....
    “So, are you going?”
    “... Jeez, fine! I’ll do it!”
    ....
    “Hello!”
    “H-hi... I-I’d like two ch-cheeseburgers, please...”

  3. #3
    Super Senior Member Delphinus's Avatar
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    ^ I liked it. It was quite clever.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn
    You forgot your F in Modesty.

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