oh!! that's a long prologue,,
i could throw in some few more critique.,. i won't crit on the prologue since it's your old drawing,, so i'll just go with the new ones
page 4: right foot of the girl,.,
page 5: bottom panel guy on the left side has it's elbow meeting
page 6: risk and hand of the guy... the one taking the money or apple(i don't know)
i hope you get what i mean, well i could crit some more but i have to put some type of red lines or put some example,, but i hate doing those stuffs cause i'm lazy..
although i really like your stuffs!!