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Thread: Secant : Page 2 arrives

  1. #11
    Regular Member
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    Nice work! Very cool artwork... wish I could pull that level of detail off :P

    I'd recommend centering any and all text that you typeset - it tends to fit better in bubbles and boxes and look better... and to be honest, I'm not a fan of Courier - it's too thin and serif-tacular.

  2. #12
    101 Dalmations Member Scarletlight's Avatar
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    Tsig - I am glad you enjoyed it, there will be more, hopefully of better quality soon.
    Nyarla - Ah ok, I will centre the text from now on. Still playing around with the fonts so bare with me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fenn View Post
    Visually, it's great, stunning even, save the woman in the last panel. ect..

    Looking good, keep it up!
    Thanks for crit on the girl, I needed it because I often struggle with that kind of pose from behind.

    I'm happy to PM dialogue to you for editing, you have been helpful thus far and it will mean easier to read pages!
    Thank you alot. I will seperate script out from the Novel version and PM it to you later on today. Don't feel there's any hurry for it because it takes me a couple of days to get the art work to a standard that I'm happy with.

    *pokemon narrator voice* And sooo it seems like scarlet has enlisted the help of Fenn on his quest to create a webcomic.

    more soon everyone. Thanks for reading.

  3. #13
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    Try everything in Uppercase.
    Try different fonts for bubble text and title text.
    The Close up Panel its fuzzy (if this is intended to show movement, I don't think fuzzing is the way to go).

  4. #14
    101 Dalmations Member Scarletlight's Avatar
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    Some good suggestions, Will try both out.
    Nope it's not meant to be fuzzy at all, but I have to use a camera to get the original art work onto the computer before editing, so it takes away from the resolution a bit sometimes.
    Thanks

  5. #15
    101 Dalmations Member Scarletlight's Avatar
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    As promised, heres the second page. Thanks to Fenn, my new editor !
    The pillars are thinner than they really should be.. they looked fine in the original art work..but on this toned version..not so much..
    I completly forgot to try the uppercase thing too, next time.


    Any crits appreciated.
    Last edited by Scarletlight; 07-19-2011 at 05:47 PM.

  6. #16
    Fenn
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scarletlight View Post
    As promised, heres the second page. Thanks to Fenn, my new editor !
    The pillars are thinner than they really should be.. they looked fine in the original art work..but on this toned version..not so much..
    I completly forgot to try the uppercase thing too, next time.


    Any crits appreciated.
    It's hard to critique just 1 page, but I'd say you would have benefitted from a more dynamic angle on the head of the mutant at the bottom of the page.

    Also post here to let me know when you send the next page(s) for editing.

  7. #17
    Palindrome Member ClockHand's Avatar
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    Angles Angles Angles.

    You need to tell me the story according to angles and image. The impression of a character in his side face as if I only see his face covered with the shadow of his own head (light coming from above). Impact in a scene is everything and you need to tell me the story manipulating the image which had to work with the composition of the page.

    In this case think the comic as a movie, when you see a movie the camera tells a story that should intensify the emotion or the action of the characters. Think how bad would be the scene of Odyssey on the Space, if the camera didn't made a focus on the hand of the monkey graving the bone, this is because that moment was made with a delivered intention to focus the audience in that little thing, and the scene would have a complete different connotation if it were a wide plane.

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