D' Reign ~ Manga storyline, any suggestions?
Alright guys, I'm fed up with dreaming about this manga idea I have, and I'm about ready to begin drawing it again. Some of you guys may remember it from the old MT (I'm Flaming-Pencil) and I've worked out alot of the details for the beginning, but want to know what I can change for the entire storyline.
The basics of the story are...
Setting: Fantasy like realm with advanced technology that is rarely used due to the near apocalyptic times. Many towns and even countries are in ruins, rarely any urban areas except for the few that are properly fortified.
A boy wakes up one morning in his home village, and is told by his preacher that today is 'the day'. 'The day' refers to when every boy in the village is sent into the 'sacred pond' populated by leeches that lack the ability to die. These leeches have been known to drain blood of their 'hosts' and based on that blood produce a specific ability, and the power of said ability is reliant on the leech itself. For example a boy with blood that grants leeches the ability to produce explosive saliva, would be forced into the village's mines for the remaining time of his life. These children have no concept of 'father' or 'mother' due to the fact that they had been kidnapped at such a young age and raised to obey the rules of the preachers.
The main character 'Chad' (may be changed) goes down to the village's pond and is told to walk in. A relatively weak leech (later nicknamed 'Stache for his moustache) attaches to Chad, and is overwhelmed by the will to eat objects like stones and stray metal. After hours of the preacher shaming Chad for not having 'special' blood Chad walks outside to his leech and jokingly displays his true emotions of murder towards his preacher. The leech produces a sword for Chad, and the preacher walks outside, realizes that Chad's ability is the greatest of all, to have any object he wishes be dispelled from his leech's stomach granted the correct materials are provided.
His preacher, shocked and greatly satisfied immediately orders Chad to work with the blacksmith, tailor, builders, etc of the town. Chad refuses to move, and is asked what he wishes to do. He replies 'fulfill his dreams' and turns around to behead his preacher and runs away from the village. Chad promises 'Stache as much blood as he pleases, provided that 'Stache memorizes and produces various weapon designs that Chad will soon begin to sell.
Years later when Chad is in his early years of adulthood (18-20ish) he is constantly being hunted by members of his village, members of villages similar to his, the black market, and attempts to figure out why the world seems to be collapsing in on itself. Since he left the village and has been on the run from such a young age he has absolutely no skill regarding fighting. He relies on 'Stache to make virtually unbeatable swords, and yet he still is at a disadvantage, so he cheats by whipping out his collection of assault rifles :D. He does try to learn though, and prefers swords/knives/bladed weapons over guns.
He's grown rather depressed and has taken on the phrase "You/It/(s)he/we would have made a good ____". For example after killing one of his former friends from the village that was sent to kill him he says, "It's a shame, you would have made a good travelling partner" and after being forced to kill a master swordsman he say "It's a shame, you would have made a good teacher"
Leeches are defined as well 'Leeches' or 'L' For short, and the person providing the blood is defined as the Host. The abilities that the leeches have are chosen by the type of blood they receive, but the power of the ability is dependant on the leech. Oh yes, and all leeches are immortal. There are other types of 'L's though. (BTW I'll be giving these different races of 'L's different names)
For example there are Plants, or 'PL', which drain water either from the host's body or from the land. The power and type of ability the plant has is completely based on the plant it merely needs water as a 'bribe' they are mortal, but plant seeds that they can easily retreat to.
There are also birds, or 'BL', which feed off of the energy found in music, their hosts are the providers of the music, for example a musician or even a speaker if the bird is naive enough. The power and ability is defined completely by the song. They are also immortal.
There are also 'solo' 'L's that have non-human hosts. For example there is the Dragon, who's host is the weather. It's abilities are all based upon what the weather around it is, but it's power is always great. It is mortal, but does not have a limited lifespan, it dies only if killed.
The last 'L' I plan to introduce is the Golem. If you don't know what golems are they're pretty much... 'monsters' that are formed from rock/land/something along those lines. They're hosts are... time. They grow stronger and are provided new abilities as time goes along, but that takes a long period of time. For example an average strength golem is over 3000 years of age. They are mortal, but like the Dragons, can die only if killed, and if provided enough time could prove to be impossible.
Alright, now that the details surrounding the concept are layed out, let's get into the BASICS of the storyline.
Alright these are the main things that happen from beginning to end.
Chad and 'Stache are brought together in the beginning which is explained above, 'Stache goes along just for the blood, and the amusement (being immortal gets boring as he says)
Chad has made the decision to destroy all of the preachers and end this sick religion and way of life. He goes to several villages, most of which contain normal Leeches, but others contain birds or plants. He is forced to fight several former friends from the village he was raised in. His main objective however is to find out a weakness in his home village D' Reign as it has become the most fortified village since his 'departure'.
During this time he began to catch wind that an enormous leech was devouring the earth from the inside out, which is revealed to be true when the story quickly switches to another person's perspective. This character has the same ability in his blood as Chad, but just so happened to be paired with the earth's most powerful leech. His intention is to have the earth devoured and create a new earth in his image.
The blackmarket has kidnapped Chad and 'Stache inorder for 'Stache. The blackmarket is informed of Chad's power after Chad makes a deal with the blackmarket's current 'leader' to create a prototype for a new gun the 'leader' had designed. Chad manages to escape after have his blood drained and being left with only enough to barely survive to produce more.
Chad runs off into the mountains beside the blackmarket's 'factory'. He is left with only one sword which just so happens to be made of wood. He has no choice but to train in the mountains and hunt for food, and after weeks of doing so has become more skilled in fighting, rather than just shooting like before. At one point he comes across a young Golem (about 500 years) and fights it until the Golem is amused enough to find respect for him.
Chad goes back into the blackmarket secretly, and steals a hand made katana. He has to kill the store owner with it in order to get away. He reaches 'Stache and ends up having him create his favourite sword, that until now he had no idea how to use. He uses his new skill to fight his way to the main exit of the 'factory'
He is confronted by the leader and after some stalling the leader confronts Chad with a deal. Apparently the leech was the cause of his first born child's death, having his home collapse and his child crushed under the rubble. The 'leader' makes a deal with Chad, that until the giant leech is destroyed, Chad can have access to whatever materials, services, or money he desires.
Chad begins his hunt for the leech and heads to areas of the earth where earthquakes have been reported most recently. He ends up in a town, that he unknowingly praises birds and all their power. He walks in on the middle of an huge 'concert' in which the town is surrounded by extremely deadly birds, even without the spell that is about to be cast. The song is essentially death metal, and the speakers playing the music are places all throughout the town. The song's intent is to destroy all forms of life on the continent, as the cities surrounding this city refused to provide any help in these near apocalyptic times. He ends up defeating some of these birds, leaving them damaged, but still alive (they're immortal) and stopping the music by killing the DJ at the center of town.
He then has to cross a desert and ends up coming across a dragon in the middle of a huge heat wave. The dragon uses the weather to produce massive flames. The desert then receives it's only rain in months, which makes the dragon produce ice. And then a lightning storm begins granting the dragon unimaginable speed. At this point Chad is nearly dead and cannot fight anymore. He drops to his knees and say 'It's a shame, you would have made a good pet". He tells 'Stache to leave, but at this time the giant leech (I will find a name I swear) erupts from the ground and picks the Dragon out of the sky only the go immediately back underground without noticing Chad. Chad tries to shoot rockets at it and then the man under control of this leech floats down on a cloud, and is amused by Chad's similar blood ability. He explains his actions and tells Chad to end his misery jokingly. Chad passes out from blood loss and exhaustion.
Chad wakes up in one of the blackmarket's 'hospitals' and sees the 'leader'. The leader explains to him that Chad had been followed by his minions and was brought back here by them. He also explains to him that the giant leech was seen several times supposedly moving towards them. They leave to confront the giant leech and the 'leader' demanded several trucks of soldiers and weapons be brought with them. After they cross paths with the leech, Chad is dropped off via helicopter to fight the man controlling the giant leech on a mountain top, while the 'leader' and his soldiers try to take down the giant leech. When Chad begins to attack, it is revealed that the man controlling the giant leech is rather weak having to give up increasing amounts of blood to keep his now uncontrollable leech satisfied. He cannot fight, but he is covered in armour formed from the world's diamond collection so Chad cannot damage him. After Chad does some cheesy talking about how the Earth as a whole doesn't deserve this the guy gets out of his suit and tells Chad that he can't control the giant leech anymore. He then jumps off of the mountain killing himself.
Chad climbs back down and finds the 'leader' and his soldiers still fighting the giant leech. The leech is fed up and begins to swallow the land around them. The 'leader' begins to laugh and hands Chad some papers. He explains that these are the location of the man who started this religion and slavery of children. He tells Chad to run away and that the trucks are all full of explosives. Chad runs away and they are all swallowed and end up exploding within the giant leech, killing it.
Chad finds that the location of the man who started this religion is in D' Reign to his surprise. Chad returns 'home' and with the help of some blackmarket soldiers kills most of the guards and reaches the man. They fight, and it is revealed that the man actually has no ability, but is a normal man with an obsession with people who do have the abilities of people like Chad. Chad has a blackmarket helicopter fire a grappling hook that pulls the man out of his castle and they fly, but don't land. Chad ends up telling the man that he never wanted to create weapons, what he really wanted was simply to create, and that now that people know of his power he can't live a normal life. Chad pulls a grenade's pin out and asks 'Stache if he really is immoral. 'Stache re-assures Chad, and tells Chad that he isn't though, jokingly. The man looks up at Chad and tells him, "You would have made a good son" and explains that none of the people he sent to kill him did it with such efficiency, regardless of their abilities. Chad looks back and says "It's a shame, you would have made a horrible... 'father'" and throws the grenade to the man's side of the helicopter. The grenade explodes and the force throws Chad into a wall and knocks him out. The helicopter is seen plummeting to the ground.
Chad wakes up and 'Stache reveals that he had just the right materials in his stomache to make a parachute to save Chad's dumb ass. Chad said that he can't live making weapons for the kind of people he hates. 'Stache replies, that Chad never had to say yes. They build a home, by hand, in the mountains.
Alright, so I really don't know what I should change though. I will obviously be giving out some cool names so people aren't going to be saying 'leader' and 'giant leech' and I'll try to keep the saying of 'leech' to a minimum.
Could you guys add some input, suggestions, anything and everything is greatly appreciated!
Whoa.. I just realized how much I wrote... hahaha maybe I should do the same for my school work xD