There are entire web sites dedicated to Chuck Norris jokes.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris donated blood to one man. He's now known as Superman.
Every night, children check their closets for the boogeyman, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris . . .
. . . and Chuck Norris checks his closet for Shion Sonozaki. >>Higurashi joke<<
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he pushes the world down.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Just Google "Chuck Norris jokes" for more. There are thousands. Some suck, some are actually pretty funny. Funny thing is, the real Chuck Norris is actually a pretty nice guy, while the jokes depict him with no emotions and no mercy.
Dude! Mitch Hedberg was my hero...but like all my heroes, he died of a heroine overdose.
Speaking of which, here's some of his jokes I like:
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
03-11-2011, 08:33 PM
Hey, did you guys hear about the incident at the hospital yesterday?
Three old ladies were sitting on a bench in front of the hospital and were flashed by some young dude... TWO of them had strokes.