Shari was confused and felt a little pained by Kai's reaction, as much of her own fault as it may have been. Why should I be? I'm saving him from being hurt, aren't I?... Her heartbeat was rolling over heavy and slow. Shit. What should I do in a situation like this?... If I just get myself assigned to another team, that would just look like cowardice, wouldn't it?...
Shrugging deeply after a pause, the stony woman just gave into her new-found guilt and sat directly behind Kai. Weighty, warm hands embraced his shoulders softly, and then began slowly messaging out the tense knots of muscle along his back.
"It's alright, through... If nothing else, I think we have proven we can take it."
The process had her shooting a slightly embarrassed look at Rin, but Shari looked down in order to continue anyway.
Talk about mixed signals.
This was... nice. Warily he allowed himself to relax and enjoy it, closing his eyes as he leant into her touch. Her rough hands were surprisingly gentle and he began to remember how her hands had touched him earlier in the day. She was bloody confusing and downright mercurial in her moods, but whatever. He could roll with it. "I hope so." He frowned slightly, mind drifting back to all that Rin had told him, "Rin, do you think the Mind Flayer had control of Yagyu? It would explain why everything he was doing was so out of character."
Rin shrugged. "Dunno. If the Illithids are controlling Shingen I would imagine that the one you killed was not the one controlling him. It seems uncharacteristically clumsy of them to leave someone controlling someone so important in such a vulnerable position. If he is being dominated, odds are the Illithid responsible is somewhere in the palace. Or somewhere else safe. Hells, it could even be in the Underdark."
She gave another shrug and paused for a moment. "Hey, let's have a threesome!"
"Um-" Kai blushed and tore himself out of Shari's grip regretfully, "with respect Rin-" didn't he just explain that femme people were never on his to do list? "I think I'll pass." He stumbled to his feet and pulled on his hair bashfully. "Thank you for you time Rin, but I think... I'll... um maybe see you back at the inn, Shari?" He bowed hurriedly to both of the women and made his way out of the room.
Shari's hands seized up at the request, then slowly lowered. "I...I-I... I don't feel that good..." Was the rather lame excuse that stuttered through her mouth. Her pink-tinted cheeks refused to lie, however, and her hands had to be removed from Kai's back in an attempt to quash the heated sensation. "Not that I would insult you by refusing your request, master, only I... I..."
This is just cruel. She thought, crossing her arms tightly. The truth was that even if sleeping with Kai for the first time whilst Rin was there wasn't weird at all, sleeping with Kai alone put far to many stones into the pit of her stomach. Shari couldn't help but think there were just too many reasons why neither of them should want to be in a five hundred foot radius of her.
Thankfully Kai left rather briskly and the situation was semi-resolved, but that somehow didn't make her feel any better about the future.
Rin gave a frown. "Oh, you're both no fun." She said with a little laugh. "I'll just have to fuck one of the guards, I guess." She said with a sigh before rising. "I'll see you all later. I'm also going to have Chiyo up the security around your place, just in case. Later, loves."
Shari raised and moved to leave prompty, but paused and looked backwards at Rin with a look of honest affection.
"Rin... I.... Th..."
An unnatural feeling boiled in her chest and she couldn't finish, but her expression remained. Rather than freeze in place, Shari chose to just keep walking and hope Rin understood.
Kai made his way back to the inn.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 02:33:57 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
If the solid monk's face had been sombre previously, the events of the mission had only chosen to worsen her mood moreso. In contrast with her earlier lusting attitude towards Kai, Shari's affection had too become cold. The smell of exertion flowed about the room from her, but she did little other than sit on the bed and gaze at the opposing wall blankly.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 02:48:25 AM] emizizi:
Kai stood aimlessly in the room, unsure what to do. Shari was being markedly cool towards him and Kami- who the hell knew why. He stalked into the bathroom, suddenly irritated. Since working for Rin it seemed that nothing they did was good enough. Their various enemies- and wow, what a list they were racking up- always seemed to be a step ahead of them. He untied the sash at his waist and dropped it on the floor, kicking it behind him into a crumpled heap and letting his top gape open as he splashed water onto his face. He pulled his ponytail loose, silky hair tumbling around his shoulders. He was getting old. Sighing, he re entered the bedroom. "Shari," he said softly more as a way of breaking the silence than because he had anything much to say, "if you want me to sleep on the floor then I will. You don't have to put up with me and you don't have to explain yourself." He was thinking of Mio as he said it. She would kick him out of bed often enough when they were married. She had her reasons.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 02:33:57 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
Shari looked at his face and then his exposed chest with her glazed-over eyes, before arcing her eyes quickly back along the floor and towards the oppisate direction. "...You didn't tell me before... and... I couldn't have even..." Her voice was coarse and unfeeling, typical for when she was trying not to expose something. "This is really fucked up... No, no, that's wrong, I really fucked this all up... and I did it smiling and all... I can't..." Still sitting crossed-legged with thumbs held point to point, she considered the ramifications of everything she wanted to say to him. Bodily pain was always welcomed because she felt it could make her stronger in the future, but this kind of emmotional turmoil just reminded her of how pathetic she had been in the past. Kai's eyes were like needles. The idea that she could cause guilt in him was a thing that ate away at her stomach like nothing else. Springing to her feet, Shari suddenly marched to the doorway before stopping just adjacent.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 02:33:57 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"..I...I don't know what I'd do without your affection... but..." The monk spoke in a low, sour tone with her back still turned. It was deeper and more raw than she had ever exposed to him previously, to the point that her shoulders were quivering under the weight of some hideous knowlage. "It's just so... wrong... It's selfish, but I just can't do it."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 03:14:18 AM] emizizi:
"Shari... I don't understand." He spoke softly, and placed a hand gently on her shoulder, absently stroking the back of her neck. "You're not making any sense. Can't do what?" He stepped closer, wanting to use physicality to explain what his words failed to communicate. "What on earth could you possibly say to make me feel any different about you?"
[Fri Dec 17 2010 02:33:57 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
Feeling his rough hands against the vunerable area of her spine had her convulse for a pace, then turn around and slap his offending arm away. Before the cumbersome lady could add anything, however, her sharp eyes welled up and she reflexively placed both her hands onto the center of his rippling chest in an immediate appology. "...You should have listened to Rin. She was absolutely right." "When you said before about your upbringing, and I agreed?... I'm so full of shit... and..." Taking a moment to whipe the mounting tears from her face, she dropped her hands and went onto her knees, in a fashion she thought was more appropriate for her position. "Don't deserve pity. I hate that I like you so much... That I was in the pay of the Orochi so many times before I met you or even Rin... that's something I did willingly."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 03:51:55 AM] emizizi:
Kai froze. He stared at her, kneeling on the floor, and shook his head slightly. "I don't-" he cut himself off with a choke and turned away abruptly, moving to the bed and sinking onto it, his back to her. After a while his breathing returned enough to normalcy that he could address her. The bedclothes twisted under his grip as he tightened his fists. "Shari. You might want to say that again and try to expand and explain the circumstances around that." His voice was as strained as his hands; his knuckles turning white. "My early life was not even as serene as I made out to Yoko." Biting sarcasm cutting through for a second. "Orochi turned my 'parents' into the pathetic creatures they are today." The hatred and contempt he layered on the word 'parents' was almost tangible. "Orochi forced them to sell me to my master," he reflexively touched the knot of scar tissue on his abdomen, before pulling his clothes around himself and slowly shifting to face her, perching on the edge of the bed. "So please, if you have reasons, state them."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 04:07:56 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"...My... My parents gave me up to a monastary rather than hand me to the Orochi... It was a differant city-state but basically the same story... Only, I... I... hated my parents and myself so much that I..." She paused for a moment to whipe the tears from her eyes again, feeling it out of line to contest any pity she might garter from Kai. The urge to crawl towards him and somehow sooth his ripped flesh was inconceivable, but that too seemed like it was giving herself too much credit. Shari really had no idea if she actually cared for him, or she just couldn't stand the idea of loosing someone who she had exposed herself so throughly to. "I hated those fucking weak-souled villagers so much that I wanted to be anything but them." Her voice was doing it's best to sound angry, devoid of self-pity. "And I killed a hell of alot of people that probaly had no bad dealings. I don't even feel bad about it now. It's all become the same twisted, hideous face I'm using to talk to you now."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 04:09:58 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"You can kill me or torture me or fuck me up... There shouldn't be any pity. I made my choices... and there is no one I'd rather do it than you, Kai."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 04:31:48 AM] emizizi:
Kai stared at Shari dispassionately, his eyes blank with unreadable emotion. "My parents sold me to a master that beat me, cut me, marred me and got off on my pain because if they didn't I would have starved to death. My town was ransacked by the Orochi, our livelihoods burned. My parents were too pathetic to raise an objection to the hell I went through at the hands of that sadist. They comforted themselves with the idea that starvation and Orochi was worse. I despise them. They are beyond contemptible to me. But I believe them. Orochi are worse. Mio, my master's other slave, can attest to that. Her parents were taken, her siblings killed and eaten, her town raised to the ground." He stood slowly, his body shaking and betraying the total fury that engulfed him. "I am going to leave now, Shari. I am going to go and get very very dunk, and hope that I forget what you are." He moved to the bathroom doorway stepping over her as if she weren't there. His movements sluggish and liquid as if in a dream. He paused in the doorway, but couldn't look at her. "But first I am going to try and wash off your stink. I do not pity you. I am repulsed that I could feel any human emotion toward you at all."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 04:55:50 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"You are in every way... right...." She had a dispairing, ruinous smile on her face that spoke of a total agreement, cheeks wet with running tears that she no longer cared to remove. "My only regret is that I let you become so close. And... and when I said you also had no soul... it's wrong. So wrong. You've kept everything so strong that I gave away freely..." Getting to her feet with a lumbering gate, she just grasped one of Kai's own knives from the disorderly cabnet at the side of the bed, and then pivoted to place herself on the end of the matress. "I have nothing to repay you with but blood. Please tell me something... anything to do... I'll do it. Without thought." Holding the blade of the knife to the center of her solar plexus, she just solemly unbounded the tattered red shawl from her chest and eagerly welcomed his answer with a desperate glance.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 05:38:25 AM] emizizi:
Kai was suddenly at her side, hardly seeming to move at all in his speed. He placed a hand lightly on hers around his kukri. "Shari-" his voice cracked, grief spilling through and ruining his mask of emotionlessness. "Fuck! Shari, I'm not vengeful. You don't have to repay me." He couldn't help himself, running his free fingers lightly over the scars on her face, down her neck. "I told you once that I don't believe that who were were says anything about who we are. I still believe that. I have to." He growled in frustration. "But- for fuck's sake. I need to not be in the same room as you." He pulled on his kukri, away from her skin. "I don't need to forgive you. Fuck off, forgiveness is not mine to give. They weren't my families you slaughtered, my children you enslaved. I need time to accept this. And then see if I can stand to be around you anymore."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 06:04:54 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
She couldn't see why he wasn't considering it. Aside from vengeance, even dealing out something that was supposedly deserved was generally enough motivation for her. Very frequently, it was -all- she understood. Slowly, her hand lost it's willpower and allowed him to take the knife away from her. Only just realizing her marred bust was exposed now, a few of Rin's notions took her hands to his chest and felt the curvation of his hardened stomach. Only after she had done it did she realize how cruel the action really was. "....I would have done it." Was the only answer she could give, now looking into the floor and speaking with a voice vastly empty. She opened her mouth to compare him otherwise, but no suitable combination of words arose. "You should go... I knew this would happen, but I had to say it. I owed you that much, sir."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 06:34:05 AM] emizizi:
Kai flinched, but didn't look away as she touched him. "I know you would. If that makes you strong..." he shrugged helplessly. His mouth tasted sour. Insane, conflicting emotions battled for supremacy inside him. He wanted nothing more than to grab her words and push them back inside of her, forbid them from coming out and spilling the black bile truth all over him. Instead he did nothing. "I lied when I said I was repulsed." Kai leant forward and kissed her forehead, feeling the bitterness of the gesture. He tilted her head up gently, kissing her mouth fiercely, almost viciously. He broke away and pushed his forehead against hers, hard, echoing the fury of the morning. "I feel so many things. Loathing, hatred, anger, pain, betrayal, even. But not repulsed." He pulled away completely and stood up. "How fucked is that."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 06:55:41 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
Shari held onto Kai's parted shirt tightly as she was kissed, and held back a pained whimper. Childish, needy actions were brooding to the surface and it was difficult to stop them all. "You should be." She gasped lightly. "But... for what it's worth... I think I was wrong about -this-, even. It seems I do care for you. I know because it hurts me that you're with me, of anyone. That... guilt... it's not something I'm supposed to feel... but now It's not something I can pull out..." Her arms feeling empty, she bundled them now and hunched forward, clutching her shoulders. "It would have been nice, through. With you as my karma.,, Something worthwhile could have been taken out of this life, perhaps... Something sweet, even..."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 07:07:02 AM] emizizi:
Kai turned slowly, shocked out of his self obsessed pain. "You feel... guilt?"
[Fri Dec 17 2010 07:17:13 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"I don't understand it. Not at all. But you have something..." Shari sat upright slightly to make eye contact again. Her lower eyelids were red with some kind of conviction. "Something similar enough that I can relate to, but uncorrupted... does that make any sence? I had discarded it, but you make me want it back... and that's unique. Something I'd follow always."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 07:32:25 AM] emizizi:
Kai nodded, and slowly sank back down to the floor. It was inevitable, really. "It makes sense. I had someone worth trying for- someone who held me up to a higher standard than I could hold myself. Someone, well, close enough to relate to, but infinitely different, too. I wish you could have met, she would have liked you." He paused, and shrugged. "Of course, she would have killed you tonight. I suppose it's ironic that it's because of her I couldn't." He reached out and almost touched Shari, but pulled back at the last second. "You're saying you want, what? To change? If you mean it I'm afraid I'll hold you to a higher standard than you believe yourself capable of." He shrugged wearily. "You told me to be your karma- here I am. Your atrocities weigh me down- it's your job to pick me up."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 07:41:19 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"I'm too selfish to really understand people, I admit that... But if I could find a way to stay here and not hurt you... Loyalty to something I beleive in, that was never one of my flaws..."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 07:41:19 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
Shari stood up without unbundling her arms, and moved to place her face on Kai's shoulder. "I don't know if it's wise to compare me to such a woman, but... She sounds really great. Like someone I should miss." The harsh woman added softy.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 08:02:37 AM] emizizi:
Kai put his arms around her. It hurt, but then, he knew how to deal with pain and anger. Squish it down and deal with it later. "I used to think I didn't understand people. Unfortunately I've discovered I'm far more useless- I've got a terminal case of empathy." He sighed, and nodded. "The comparison is fair, Shari. Mio is- was, perhaps, by now- best described as hard. Tough. She had little time for niceties; the world was not fair to her. So she decided that she would take the hand she was dealt and shove it up fate's ass." He smiled sadly in spite of himself, his smile hardening. "If she is dead, it will be at the hands of those twins. If I get the chance, I will show them a few tricks my master tried out on me."
[Fri Dec 17 2010 08:19:27 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"Killing them would have alrea-...." Shari shrugged and cut herself off early, unsure what emmotions she should really be encouraging. She hated the twins, it was true, but then again, she hated alot of people... "Even Jian didn't diserve that... or Hei, not really... So I guess it's okay to want to mutilate them, right?..." Finding the hug with the slightly shorter man awkward, she arced an arm around to the back of his head and ran her fingers through his flowing hair instead. "I'm glad you hung on to your empathy, through... I think it's that spark of human flavour which puts you a world apart from people like me..." Taking care to arc forward instead of pulling him in, she angled her head and kissed his lips passionately.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 08:38:07 AM] emizizi:
"I don't know. This is one of those situations where, frankly, I can't pretend to be a good person. I'm not. I want to hurt those women. I think doing so would give me no small measure of satisfaction; killing them wouldn't be enough. I just... try damn hard not to be a bad person, either." In some respects she reminded him of Mio- in others of certain old flames. He was always happier encircled by beefy arms than doing the encircling. He leant naturally into her embrace, returning her kiss.
[Fri Dec 17 2010 08:57:58 AM] Dhomo Chevski:
"Even so, that you're asking such a question..." She leant her brow against his, and smoothed out the hard contour of his jawline using her free hand. "Considering what the kind of shit those bitches are obviously after... It's a sour taste..." Thinking back to the previous night had her tense up her muscles for a second before relaxing again and placing her other arm over his shoulder aswell... Such robust shoulders, and a tighter neck... Considering the regular breed of men and women she had slept with during jobs, his honed, wirey body came in somewhere else... it seemed more combfertable to be entangled with, somehow. "...Mister Haru was trying pretty hard the other day... I think we can still trust him to stop us going too far, can't we?..."
"Mmm," He agreed, his hands feeling the strong contours of her back, then flowing down to her waist. He sighed. "I hope so." Nothing about this was right; not after what she'd confessed. But still he held on, like a drowning man to a raft. Stupid, Kai. He pressed himself closer to her, her hard muscled unyielding under his pressure, her body still seeming to fit to his. What a mess.
After a hesitation, he arched his head up to hers and kissed her again, before gently pulling her towards the bed, his eyes seeking consent. He didn't want to think anymore.