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View Full Version : Have a storyline,etc...just needs to be more develped!!!???



tag654
06-10-2011, 12:21 AM
anyone want to help me with some questions i guess that i can ask myself...to know if the manga storyline is good enough...is defined enough? or something,...help period XD

Evil_Cake
06-10-2011, 12:34 AM
okay

DrPumpkin
06-10-2011, 10:49 AM
Sure.

tag654
06-10-2011, 08:32 PM
so...now what...you guys want to see it or..?

Outcast
06-10-2011, 11:49 PM
Sure.

BozeSG
06-11-2011, 01:07 PM
Why not...

ClockHand
06-11-2011, 04:18 PM
I don't know. Can you gave me like a month to think about it?

tag654
06-12-2011, 02:40 PM
nvm

neogenstru
06-13-2011, 06:49 PM
is that your plot?

Evil_Cake
06-13-2011, 07:05 PM
go to hell with ur idea that u wont show

tag654
06-13-2011, 11:56 PM
new one is below!!!:D

"go to hell with ur idea that u wont show "



woah,It was just i had to re-upload,calm down.....OWO'

tag654
06-14-2011, 12:01 AM
"is that your plot"

yes,that is the plot.....but please be specific to what you mean?

there are many subplots that I have also came up with,so yeah!ask away!OFTo

neogenstru
06-14-2011, 01:01 AM
Ah quite a formidable wall of text you have built yourself. But I can decipher some great potential from what I've been able to read. A few questions: 1. How does she escape, does she just like run out of this secret facility without opposition or does she use her powers? 2. What are her powers? 3. Why wouldn't the scientists just treat her at their facility if she was part of such an experiment? 4. Can you briefly summarize the events after she leaves the hospital(been up all night and can't really read these text walls too well XD )?

tag654
06-14-2011, 11:53 AM
no,she escapes using the window......the window is a typical slide window like you would see in a hospital - like room......though there are alarms when someone opens the window....thats the itimidation factor....but during the time where she's having her reaction nothing really makes sense to her right now....



later on in the story she finds out she has physhic abilities(it really would be better if I re-edited) it with all the new stuff I came up with(This is like the VERY first draft,and I printed it and wrote my new ideas and ad-ons on the 4 full sheets....so yeah...tell me if I should....


They didn't treat her because at the time...she's already considered failed.....You see,if an experiment has a bad reaction to the serum,then they are pretty much considered failed and not needed for anymore(meaning they would have to make better serums).....and 2. Yumi fell and is unconscious- in coma(state)...that being said,She is failed and has no use(and shes in a coma which can takeYEARS,and they are very impatient people):D


well im going to work on putting my edits in a text document and organizing it,then ill post the newer version...but for now you can still analyze,etc!!!

tag654
06-14-2011, 02:32 PM
Sorry guys cant copy/paste it for some reason....The only other way I can do it is like this....:

http://www.mediafire.com/?ep1fdmhs8303b5y

tag654
06-15-2011, 11:22 PM
Anyone find it any better than the last?

neogenstru
06-18-2011, 12:29 PM
Sounds like some ambitious plans you have there are you willing to do all that on your own (20+ story arcs, 9-12 main characters, etc.) or are you trying to get a team together?

tag654
06-18-2011, 03:02 PM
yes,but its very hard!XD

to find the right people...that is!

BlueExorcist
06-20-2011, 03:35 PM
... ... well, from what i understand, i like it... ... and i may be able to help.