PDA

View Full Version : I opened a fortune cookie today but there was no fortune inside



jubeh
05-02-2011, 06:39 PM
So what is my fortune mt?

Hayashida
05-02-2011, 06:43 PM
You will encounter a man named michael and he will be like where are all the white women at

Ozzaharwood
05-02-2011, 06:43 PM
I opened a fortune cookie one time and it said "Eat more Chinese food and you will have a better fortune."

Fml.

Hell_Baron
05-02-2011, 07:01 PM
Confusious says: "man who buys drowned cat, always get wet pussy"

Byakuran
05-02-2011, 07:43 PM
He did not say that.

Yur fortune is

' The Tomorrow will become today, when you want it '

Bacon_Barbarian
05-02-2011, 07:48 PM
Except in bed.

Byakuran
05-02-2011, 07:49 PM
That doesnt even make sense, Bro..

Bacon_Barbarian
05-02-2011, 07:59 PM
Nah, you see you just tack it on to the end of a fortune. See, I just googled Random Fortune, went to the 1st site that came up and got "You will reach the height of success in whatever you do."

However, the real fortune is:

You will reach the height of success in whatever you do, except in bed.

Byakuran
05-02-2011, 08:36 PM
No. but it didn't make sense when saying after mine... but you still used it

F-A-I-L

jubeh
05-02-2011, 08:37 PM
Its from this old sketch. I think it was upright citizen's brigade?

Anyway they would play this game where you add "in bed" to the end of your fortune. And this dude kept getting fortunes like "You are terrible" and a picture of a thumbs down.

Bacon_Barbarian
05-02-2011, 08:42 PM
That doesnt even make sense, Bro..
I wasn't even talking about yours. I just said it as a general statement.


Its from this old sketch. I think it was upright citizen's brigade?[/n

Anyway they would play this game where you add "in bed" to the end of your fortune. And this dude kept getting fortunes like "You are terrible" and a picture of a thumbs down.
No clue where it's from. All I know that it's popular and that adding "except in" in front of it is even more funny.

See: Good fortune awaits you at the end of the day, except in bed.

lol

jubeh
05-02-2011, 09:05 PM
Yeah it was ucb. Found it.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9m22L1XllRg

ClockHand
05-02-2011, 09:06 PM
Maybe it was a Meta Fortune Cookie. And it's telling you that the fortune come from your inside.

Evil_Cake
05-02-2011, 09:17 PM
whats worse than no fortune is getting the same one twice

its like ur fate is sealed

jubeh
05-02-2011, 09:19 PM
Maybe it was a Meta Fortune Cookie. And it's telling you that the fortune come from your inside.

Maybe but after I ate I read my mail and this insurance company is wanting me to give them 4000 dollars so it was a shitty inner fortune.

Sylux
05-04-2011, 12:57 PM
You will fall victim of a parting action that places a great chasm between yourself and your mother in which you'll be forced by discomfort to return the chair you received as a birthday celebration gift.

GunZet
05-04-2011, 02:26 PM
I opened a fortune cookie yesterday. It read "A Jubeh you know will find his fortune cookie is not so foretelling".

Hol shit....it was true.
Also there was no cookie in my fortune, wtf.

Psy
05-04-2011, 11:30 PM
I have never to my knowledge recieved a fortune from a fortune cookie. It's always some bullshit advice or common sense sort of thing. "Friends make life worth living" " The mark of a good man is honesty" shit like that. I should sue some one.

Sylux
05-06-2011, 01:32 PM
Fortune cookies are an immense success - they promote general happiness and encouragement in a naive and underactive mind who simply accepts the fortune as a truth without giving it any intensive thought, though that would be pointless, as only sociopaths cannot relate to the foretellings on the slips.

goggy
05-06-2011, 07:15 PM
"All your friends think you have a small head."

Delphinus
05-06-2011, 07:19 PM
Fortune cookies are an immense success - they promote general happiness and encouragement in a naive and underactive mind who simply accepts the fortune as a truth without giving it any intensive thought, though that would be pointless, as only sociopaths cannot relate to the foretellings on the slips.

engrish is much adored by chinese members of the generality of china and compatriots of their breast!

jubeh
05-07-2011, 12:13 AM
"All your friends think you have a small head."

Its weird because I have a large head

Hayashida
05-07-2011, 12:34 AM
If you think you have a large head, and your friends think you have a small head, does that mean you actually have a normal sized head

jubeh
05-07-2011, 12:42 AM
Its possible but Im p sure my head is too big for my shoulders.

ClockHand
05-07-2011, 12:50 AM
or maybe your shoulders are to small for your head

jubeh
05-07-2011, 01:07 AM
That could be the case I guess but hats dont really fit me very well.

Fenn
05-07-2011, 02:22 PM
Once I opened a fortune cookie and the fortune read: "About time I got out of that cookie."

Sentient paper. Great.

goggy
05-08-2011, 06:18 AM
"Your fortune is in another cookie!"

Byakuran
05-10-2011, 04:56 PM
" You will not be able to eat pizza today "

Bacon_Barbarian
05-10-2011, 06:49 PM
That could be the case I guess but hats dont really fit me very well.

What's the circumference of your head? Mine's 2 feet, which is the largest the prop department at my school's ever seen.

Byakuran
05-10-2011, 07:01 PM
What's the circumference of your head? Mine's 2 feet, which is the largest the prop department at my school's ever seen.


Why is your head so big? It's not like there is anything in it...



jk, Cheesy old joke but :'D

jubeh
05-10-2011, 07:16 PM
No numana noooo

Byakuran
05-10-2011, 07:17 PM
I CAN DO THIS JUBEH I CAN HANDLE THIS!..... Trust me...

Bacon_Barbarian
05-11-2011, 03:53 PM
No numana noooo

No, but really, do you know your head's circumference?

jubeh
05-11-2011, 05:03 PM
Oh yeah dude I measure my head all the time its all I ever do

Gerzorz
05-11-2011, 05:28 PM
WAIT, THERE ARE PIECES OF PAPER INSIDE FORTUNE COOKIES?

FUCKFUCKFUCK

Bacon_Barbarian
05-11-2011, 07:14 PM
Oh yeah dude I measure my head all the time its all I ever do

You said hats don't fit ... You should know your hat size, which is pretty much the same thing.

Sconethief
05-22-2011, 11:26 PM
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE FORTUNE COOKIES.... I have no idea where I'm going with this.

Evil_Cake
05-22-2011, 11:27 PM
u gave up too soon that could of been a good joke maybe

Byakuran
05-23-2011, 06:26 AM
Meh it was getting cheesy :/ but it couldve have been a oke-joke :/

Also:

' Do not chase away the flies on your friends forehead with a axe '

Anaxx
05-23-2011, 02:59 PM
that is hilarious. x

jubeh
05-23-2011, 03:28 PM
Man you are totally a bot Im calling it

Hayashida
05-23-2011, 03:46 PM
I'm sure he just is a normal guy who finds those sorts of things funny.

Rio
05-23-2011, 03:48 PM
Mine said, "Never spit against the wind."

Byakuran
05-24-2011, 07:09 AM
True knowledge.

also mine is a chinese saying i believe..

BozeSG
05-24-2011, 01:12 PM
Mine said: "DIE, MORTAL!"

So i opened another one...

jubeh
05-24-2011, 04:29 PM
Im just waiting for this bot to make his next move

ClockHand
05-24-2011, 04:44 PM
Hey man, do you remember that time when you open a fortune cookie and there was nothing inside, so you did a thread about it and some bot answer you?

Man, those were good times.

jubeh
05-24-2011, 05:16 PM
I dont recall that

Byakuran
05-25-2011, 08:00 PM
Is this.... MEMORY LOSS!? -dramatic chipmunk move-

jubeh
05-25-2011, 08:09 PM
Where am I.

Who am I.

Sylux
05-25-2011, 08:14 PM
あなたは殺し屋。

Hayashida
05-25-2011, 10:48 PM
性交か。!何か。!

BozeSG
05-26-2011, 02:50 AM
あなたは最悪の悪夢だ

Hayashida
05-26-2011, 12:56 PM
肛門を食べなさい

Evil_Cake
05-26-2011, 02:34 PM
get that crap outta here

BozeSG
05-26-2011, 02:58 PM
My next fortune cookie said:"never use google translate for anything you want to say...."

Hayashida
05-26-2011, 03:48 PM
sometimes you just gotta eat that anus, BozeSG.

BozeSG
05-26-2011, 04:04 PM
:monkey_suicide:

Sylux
05-26-2011, 09:15 PM
Boze doesn't have to eat anus because he's not poor.

BozeSG
05-27-2011, 02:46 AM
:cat_cryincorner:"never ever post in threads without making sure what you're saying is clear enough, specially if it's related to morality and ethics..."

Rio
05-27-2011, 11:00 AM
Oh man, they kicked your ass huh? Yeah, we have some hardcore debaters here.

I found some of my old fortunes. Here's one: An artist is not paid for his labor but for his vision.

Sylux
05-31-2011, 11:29 AM
Here's a great one I actually got once: "Have a nice day come again thank you! ☺"