View Full Version : Unnamed and Uncontinuable Project

03-31-2011, 09:05 AM
Name: I can't make a name for this story, but most probably The Call of Ernie.
Rating: R/NC-17
Ernie - American junior high school student. 14 years old. Plays electric guitar with a bit of overdrive and Moog synthesizer. Writes songs, but his lyrics are unviolent and peaceful. Drives Nissan Skyline. Neko.
Nick - Singaporean high school student. 17 years old. Plays electric guitar with lots of distortion and drums. Writes songs, but his lyrics are objectionable and violent. Drives a 1960 Ford Falcon. Human.
Chiisa - a common Japanese elementary school girl. 7 years old. The cutest in the class. Neko. She is very weak and nobody can protect her, but she beleives that Chiike will protect her.
Chiike - a common Japanese elementary school boy. 8 years old. He is also cute, but not as cute as Chiisa. He defends Chiisa, but had a lot of failures. Human.
Hana - a Japanese junior high school girl. 13 years old. She is very happy and she can't imagine her life without sunlight. She draws very good and has three gold medals in swimming and a Grand Prix in computer graphics and web design. She has claimed Ernie to teach Chiisa and Chiike some computer graphics and web design and when they will be good at it, they will design a forum for elementary and junior high school students worldwide. Human.

The storyline I can't imagine fully, but the first chapter is about that Ernie finds an advertisement that Chiisa and Chiike are lost and Nick wants to find them and force them for opening doors, cleaning bathrooms and sharpening kitchen knives without any rewards. Ernie has decided to prevent Nick doing this. Nick said that Ernie must win a bit of races and guitar battles before Chiisa and Chiike will be his. On the first two races Ernie failed, and he asked for help. Hana claimed Ernie, and said that she will be a vocalist on the guitar battle. On the next three races Ernie won and got some money. Ernie spent them on upgrading his car. Then there was a third event, and Hana claimed Ernie illegally. Hana borrowed a Mazda RX-7. Nick called for backup, and arrived one racer on supercharged 1969 Dodge Charger. When last race began, Hana blocked this racer (see NFS Carbon Blockers) and gained first. Ernie tried to catch up Nick, but he arrived second. So when Hana said to Nick that Ernie is a winner, Nick disagreed, because Ernie finished second. But when Nick has decided to not count Hana, Ernie is first because actually Hana finished first. So, Nick gave Hana and Ernie a prize. Nick allowed Hana and Ernie to access Chiisa and Chiike, but not claim because they need to win a guitar battle. When guitar battle began, Nick's metal band entered scene first. Public was too scared and they didn't applause. Then Nick's band has played else three songs, but public was more scared. Nick's band left scene. Then Ernie and Hana enteres scene illegally. They played five good songs, and public smiled. They have gained a second prize and claimed Chiisa and Chiike. So, since that Ernie and Hana are allowed to protect Chiisa and Chiike from Nick's forcing.
The second chapter is about that Hana and Ernie are earning some money by taking Chiisa and Chiike to school and spending it by learning them web design and computer graphics.

03-31-2011, 09:38 AM
I am rather confused. What sort of setting is this. I mean the tone, style, and mood. Is a logic defying world, where weird things like 17 year old boys enslaving missing children is common? What is this contest that allows Hana and Ernie to get these children? Why would Nick agree to participate in such a contest if he knew he could lose his child-slaves?

03-31-2011, 10:25 AM
Nick is not yet enslaving, he is going to enslave them (in future). But Ernie wants to intercept Nick and prevent children from enslaving. Nick has only seen those children twice and has thrown insects and larvaes in a tea, but children evaded and are not on the street yet. Nick is only searching for them for enslaving. But, as I said Ernie wants to intercept Nick and defend children from Nick.

03-31-2011, 07:00 PM
Why does Nick want to enslave these children in particular? Is slavery even legal? Why is Ernie so invested in protecting these kids? Or does this world operate according to Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World logic?

04-01-2011, 02:44 PM
Nick wants to enslave these children because he has in past throwed in children's tea some beetle and mosquito larvaes. Children were unpleasant and since that time they aren't out there and they have been counted as lost. Ernie has decided to intercept Nick and protect the children from Nick, because he wants to do it voluntarily.

04-01-2011, 03:30 PM
What is this. I don't even.

04-01-2011, 03:53 PM
Wait...what does putting bugs in the kids' tea have to do with anything?

04-12-2011, 01:54 AM
This story obviously isn't made to be realistic. Nick appears to be your average bully picking on (and enslaving) little kids. Ernie on the other hand appears to be the good guy who just doesn't like seeing others get pushed around. I'm guessing Nick is cocky and overconfident, which is why he agreed to challenge Ernie and put up Chiisa and Chiike at stake. When you think about it, the only thing outrageous are the challenges, which seem to require a number of unique skills. I can't tell for sure what direction this was headed, but it looks like it was meant to be episodic with Nick as a recurring villain, rather one continuous story.