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Altiel
03-13-2011, 12:29 AM
This is for Rising stars competition on Youtube. (can't get in thanks to corporate google =-=)
Its been post translated so it reads right to left. My other comic, Zero-Reign will be western style.

(warning for mild language)

Crime is being controlled by the two largest criminal empires in Tokyo but due to a new law passing suddenly, the crime syndicate was forced to constrict selling cartel to only a few ports in Tokyo, dim down prostitution and set prices higher on illegal weapons. A new age is approaching as the police task force is sent to rid the underground world completely. But why?
Two youthful, ruthless crime lords are in control of underground Tokyo but become interrupted by a dangerous force. Their lives are threatened, dubbed as undesirable by the government and set up for treason by a mysterious group; Arashi. They join hesitantly with a similar goal: To destroy Arashi and its Boss and subordinates. It won’t be easy since they are also targets by the controlled smaller gangs in Tokyo. However, with the two of them being polar opposites, how can they bring Arashi down together?
Instead of one traditional ruler in Yakuza culture, I present two as it will be far more interesting( i hope ;3; ) and ironic. This will show how difficult and rewarding it can be to work with another.

this is the summary for extended manga which should equal to two volumes at most.

one shot will just be about them putting differences aside.

i don't want it to be very accurate, and not complicated or ill get a huge headache. Yakuza hierarchy is very complicated but interesting.

main chars:
Hideaki Zelig- The German-Japanese crime-lord who rules north Tokyo, his eccentric mannerisms , Bloodline and way of dressing often makes even his own people think he’s a bit too flamboyant and unworthy of ruling the north. He often portrays himself as nice guy, even to his enemies in battle. His nickname is the steel-fang because he has a habit of biting off a traitor/foes throat and being slightly Sadistic with a happy demeanor. He loves cats and often donates to his favorite local pet-shop. The owner, Ms. Reika is somewhat like a mother figure to him and helps him stash illegal guns in her shop.
Hair color: Maybe Blonde but he forgot (he changes it often)
Eye color: light green
Height: 185 cm
Weight: 80 kg.
Gun of choice: Manurhin MR73 .357 Magnum revolver, or Broken lily Magnum
Weapon of choice: his own body or his short-blade Mephostophiles
Wears mostly: high priced business suits, out-dated fur coats and dark attire.

Keisuke Hawatari(Asato)- Kei is known for his foul mouth and crude fighting. He dresses in regulatory western styled suits with his Japanese gang insignia, and street style with wild hair and tense demeanor. As far as he knows, he is the only child(which is not true) Kei has a diverse group of thugs, drug dealers and hit-man. Kei changed his name given to him by his father because his father was ‘ a good for nothin’ liar and a cheater’. Kei’s home place is Okinawa and carries strong accent. His handsome features do not fit his outward attitude at all and his apparent likeness to have a ‘sailors tongue’ often gets him in trouble(Hideaki thinks this is why he has the scar on his face). His nickname in the South part of Tokyo is Akuma no inu or Demon dog. He enjoys starting fights and writing poetry(although he hates to admit this). Once a year he visits his grandmother to give her birthday flowers. He has no knowledge of his father’s whereabouts.
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Crimson
Height: 172 cm
Weight: 75 kg.
Gun of choice: Beretta M9
Weapon of choice: any weapon he can find.
Wears mostly: street clothes(including punk clothes, hip-hop inspired)



http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/2kingscov1.jpg

http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/2kings_pg_1_by_cookiefiend801-d39i63b-1.jpg

http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/2kings_pg_2_3_by_cookiefiend801-d39i685-1.jpg

http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/2kings_pg_4_by_cookiefiend801-d39i6cp-1.jpg

http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/page-7.jpg

http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/2kings_pg_6_by_cookiefiend801-d3a1j0f.jpg
http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/page-6.jpg
http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/page-5.jpg
http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/page-8.jpg

it not mandatory to remember this, but i made a chart for the yakuza hierarchy in 2kings universe. i made this mostly so i wont forget the higher ups. most of them are in this oneshot briefly, but its important for over-all manga.

http://i1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/th_YakuzaHierarchy1.jpg (http://s1238.photobucket.com/albums/ff495/Orgasmic_Spock/?action=view&current=YakuzaHierarchy1.jpg)
a couple vids on how i tone manga. i hope this is ok ><

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umew1NRj9Qw&feature=channel_video_title


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBIvUiEGLUg&feature=channel_video_title

thank you for viewing

Gedeon
03-13-2011, 08:57 AM
so frickin AWSOME!!! Your like a pro at this right!? ...i envy your panel organaising and bg skillz......more please!

GunZet
03-13-2011, 12:38 PM
Really good stuff, lots of effort put into this.
I especially like the first panel on the first page because the environment is so put together.
Also, wassup with the "tha" or is that meant to be that way?
Either way, looking forward to more stuff.

Altiel
03-13-2011, 01:14 PM
Really good stuff, lots of effort put into this.
I especially like the first panel on the first page because the environment is so put together.
Also, wassup with the "tha" or is that meant to be that way?
Either way, looking forward to more stuff.

Thank you very much :) i hope to keep this up until the very end.

Oh yea, Kei has a bit of an accent. He's From Okinawa and wasn't particularly raised with the best of grammar : p

Regantor
03-13-2011, 06:28 PM
Seems alright. The art style is certainly of a very high standard, with clean lines and impressive anatomy; Alrough if I really had to pick up on something, I'd say the consistancy of Asato's face does seem to wobble a tiny bit on page 2 and the first pannel of page 4. Other than those tiny niggles, it's a very pretty work indeed. :3

The plot... Seems a little at odds, if I'm honest. I can imagine that bishonen yakuza lords would appeal very much to teenage girls, but I'm confused on exactly how you'll fit the apparent job-related hyper violence into such a thing... Unless it isn't very violent, in which case... Yeah... What is your target audience?

All that said, the winners of the previous rising stars competitions have relied very much on art strength alone in the past, so you'll probally do fine without regarding that last point completely. It's up to you, comrade. ;I

outlaw1422
03-19-2011, 01:31 AM
Reg has a point. What's your target audience, and just how violent are we talkin' here?

Better yet, how would you rate the violence on a 1 to 10 scale, 1 being Care Bears, and 10 being the manga Gantz (OMG GANTZ IS SO FRAKIN' VIOLENT).

Not to be redundant, but the art's rally nice. May I ask how do you get those lines so crisp and dark?

Altiel
03-19-2011, 01:57 PM
@ Regantor thanks :) ah yes,, Kei is more challenging for me to draw then any of my OCs lol. I am going to edit his face to keep up with consistency. shōjo, but it won't be exclusively limited to that. Guys can read it too. Think of the general audience of Naked Ape's Switch and Chrono Nanaes's Vassalord : p It would be in that range as far as violence goes.

Oh it isn't that rising stars competition. ( i would get eaten alive lol) Its the rising stars manga competition on youtube run by this guy called mngapro : )
thank you very much for commenting.

@outlaw1422 On a scale from 1-10 as ten being OMG Gantz Violent? ( God i love Gantz ) id say i 6 1/2 : D for this oneshot at least. The series itself will most likely be higher. I dont want my Ocs to be pansies of course lol.

oh no not at all thank you. I just import them on photoshop and mess with the levels and contrast a bit. not too high though or the tone will look weird.

Hayashida
03-19-2011, 02:03 PM
Hey sup double posting is bad. What you should do is just edit your previous post rather than posting twice in a row

Umber_the_kid
03-19-2011, 03:39 PM
Ok, first off gorgeous work. Gorgeous, gorgeous, work. The only thing that I could see being a problem with Tokyopop is your lineart. Although it's top notch, at times it doesn't have that professional flair to it that the artist at Tokyopop have. The good news is that I only see that in 4,5, and 6. your lineart really ups the ante after that.

Yakuza stories aren't really my cup of tea but I hope you do well in the Rising Stars competition!

outlaw1422
03-21-2011, 01:06 AM
6.5? Cool, that's a good number. The manga that I'm drawing (which I'll bring over from the old MT site someday) is around a 7, I believe.


oh no not at all thank you. I just import them on photoshop and mess with the levels and contrast a bit. not too high though or the tone will look weird.

I see. Thanks for putting those videos up too! I'll have a look at 'em when I get the time to sit down.


@outlaw1422 On a scale from 1-10 as ten being OMG Gantz Violent? ( God i love Gantz )

Lol, and that's all the reason I need to send ya a friend request. Good luck on your contest too, and keep those pages coming!

Son44
03-23-2011, 06:33 AM
I'm just curious, are you from Japan? If you are, then it's no problem. If you aren't then you should have put it somewhere closer or even in your own home country.

Art is pretty good, but the heads seems like they are squashed (third panel page 4 and 2nd panel page 5). Also, is the first image in the manga a stock picture? I'm wondering because the quality of the Bg dropped from being really good to flat office buildings with few details.

The accent thing should be mostly used in Kei's dialouge , rather than thinking boxes or you should make it clear that Kei has a strong accent before cutting to the thinking boxes.

Most of the things im pointing out are too late to change unless you want to go through the trouble of changing everything. Other than that it's an interesting manga

Hayashida
03-23-2011, 01:46 PM
I'm just curious, are you from Japan? If you are, then it's no problem. If you aren't then you should have put it somewhere closer or even in your own home country.

Why? This advice was given a long time ago on the old old site and everyone seems to just regurgitate it for every manga people make that's set in Japan. If they want to set it there, why not? If I made a manga and set it in Belarus, people wouldn't tell me "Are you from Belarus? If not then you shouldn't put it there". You guys (Not Just you Son, because a lot of people tend to say this) just say this for when people place their story in Japan. I have probably more of an understanding of the culture of Japan than I do that of Belarus.
tl;dr: That advice should really only be given if the manga has a lot to do with the culture of any country. If the country in question is more of a backdrop than anything else, let the creator use any setting they want.

outlaw1422
03-23-2011, 11:44 PM
Hayashida = THE TRUTH

DrPumpkin
03-24-2011, 12:22 AM
I think this advice is just generally there to be a weaboo filter. But I generally agree with what you're saying Hayashida.

Although I think what Son meant was that you just get a better manga/comic if you set it in a familiar place.

Hayashida
03-24-2011, 01:40 AM
Although I think what Son meant was that you just get a better manga/comic if you set it in a familiar place.

Fair enough, but it just seems like any time any member here sets their story in Japan there's like three or four people who all say they shouldn't do that.

Son44
03-24-2011, 12:30 PM
Fair enough, but it just seems like any time any member here sets their story in Japan there's like three or four people who all say they shouldn't do that.

I'm sorry if it sounded like I have something against people setting their stories in another country.
The only reason I ask is because it's easier to put it in the country you live in and such (less research on culture, history, language etc.) so yeah, Drpumpkin is spot on.

I think its one of the things that make comics different from other mediums. Being able to set it on the moon, under the ocean etc. Altough you have to do a lot of research and thats where some people fail

+ As I mentioned in the original post, its probably too late to change most of tue stuff i suggested