View Full Version : Mr D's manga

03-05-2011, 07:40 PM
Boring introduction


I'm Mr D and I wan't to make a decent manga that has the same quality of a professional manga (as good as possible), but to do that I'll need help. That's why I'm posting here, so you guys can give critique and advise. I'm sure you can help me a lot, because from what I've seen on these forums, I can say a lot of you really know much about manga, so please help me :cat_shiney:

I have to say that this manga will develope pretty slow, because I just don't have the time to do this fast. I'm putting a lot of thought into this, but I'm at my first year of university so I have other 'priorities' XD

Characters (Contains spoilers, skippable):


A girl around the age of 16. She's been a test subject for her entire life. She's also got no memory of anything in her life. She's missing a part of DNA that makes the neurons in the brain to produce a certain neurotransmitter that allows people to 'remember' things. Other genes have also been modified, added and deleted, but telling those now would be too much of a spoiler ;D She's also partial albino because of mosaic gene expression, so she has to wear special protective clothing when she goes outside.

The professor/Oh noes, I can't come up with a good name D= :

He's kinda a bad person that act's friendly. Age: 48 A biologist specialized in cell division and cell cloning. Not as well-known as his friend and much younger. He’s very talented though. He is now head of the team that researches the life span of cloned animals. The research has had several setbacks, but is close to ending.

The professors friend/Patrick J.:

Dead like a brick (or not O.O) Age: 59
He was a researcher and head of the human gene research department at the university. His most brilliant studies included the development of several techniques of very specific manipulation techniques involving certain dna-fragments. Those studies were stopped due to ethic aspects. After that he got several functions, most notable being the head of dna-specific disease studies, such as aids. But most of his research was unsuccessful or of less importance. A few weeks ago he died of cancer.

The story (Read Left to Right!):

Here starts the story. I will place all pages here and at the place where new pages will come, just have text of what's happening during the story, with the dialogues I will use in the manga already roughly sketched.


1needs work

2needs work



Coming soon ;D


Okay, that's it for now, I hope it's kinda original, lol, because I really want to make it original and not something that has already been done a thousand times :ascii_noes:

Suggestions for a title are welcome too ^^

I'm not really sure about what's going on next, so you can also give me some suggestions on a good plot and maybe I can make it fit into what I have already? :D
Thanks for looking at my thread :cat_bye: I hope you liked!

03-05-2011, 09:31 PM
Whew, so much to go over xD. But I'll try and get to most of the questions.
And so it begins.

I read all of that. But I have to say it seems like it's kick starting a bit too fast, maybe take a bit more time to explain some things in a bit more detail. You jumped from one place to another, one action to another in a reaaaaly short time lol.
But it seems interesting so far, even if I don't get what's going on.

You should keep it left to right for sure.

For tones, I don't know. Most tones I use in my manga are made of little dots, but see, when you apply them it just looks simply gray depending on the density. Unless I choose a really low density tone.
If you haven't already, I suggest downloading the Manga Studio 3/4? trial version and using that for a while.
You can also shade normally, it all works the same.

03-06-2011, 02:08 PM
Hi, thanks for the reply and sorry for the long text and stuff xD hahah

Now that I read it all again, I see I made some bad transition between 2 and 3, so I'll try to add a scene between that or something. I was kinda scared to have a really boring dialog. Also, when I make it in manga form I kinda expect all this will 'unravel' a bit slower. But it's just the beginning of the story ^^ much can still be changed at this point.

About the tones, it's gonna be a few weeks before I can use my tablet again, so I'll see what I do with that. Thanks for the tip on manga studio, I've never used it and I hope it's not too hard to learn xD Right now photoshop worked fine, except for those tones. I'll google some stuff first before I say more, lol.

Anyways, thanks a lot for the comment! Bye ;D

03-07-2011, 08:36 PM
I'll keep this short since the forum ate my last version of this post. :/...

The plot is reasonably unique, alrough it would be a massive turn-off for me personally if you went down the whole "evil professor accidently creates super hero and they become rivals" route. The art is definately enough to stand out from the crowd, at least; It's pretty decent. :o

If you want a pure black and white images (which is what proper toned images actually are), you can always make them massive and them save them as a 2-colour gif in photoshop... Most of publishers will accept greyscale just fine anyway, through. >_>

03-08-2011, 09:16 AM
Okay, thanks a lot! I've been working more on the story for a bit and kinda rewrote everything I had starting from point 3 lol. And about the plot; here's what I have in mind, for short. These are spoilers though ^^:
Okay, around 20 years ago a researcher realises he could make himself kind of immortal by using the correct techniques and knowledge. He needed a clone of himself with his own adjusted dna inside this clone. And also needed a brain transplantation afterwards. He could do the dna-thing himself, but he needed someone to help him with the clone. That's where the other professor jumps in, the one who finds this girl from the story. The other professor doesn't know about the altered dna or the test subjects, though, he thinks he only wants to clone a younger body.

Anyway, for short, he needed test subjects and he had to try three times before making a good subject. The last one, the girl, should have been a 'perfect' human in the eyes of the researcher, so he added a few failures to the girl. Some of them being memory loss, albinism (very sun sensitive) and other stuff like that. The final test would be to transplant a brain from a clone from the girl into the body of the girl from the story, be he died too soon. (sorry if it's complicated xD)

Now, for how the story will end, I'm not sure yet, so... But the story will follow the girl, who wants to find out what happened to her. She's known noone in her life except for the professor, so she loves him like a father. So, eh, I don't know yet what happens xD but there's enough material to make something nice, I think :p

Tell me what you think, lol, if you can think of some better motives and such, please tell me ;D
Also, thanks about the tone thing, I'll probably just use some grayscale shading, if it's not too much work xD

03-18-2011, 03:55 AM
Heh, Belgium. That is far, for sure...

So, yeah! If I can also give my two cents. I think you're off to a good start. I agree with Regantor (Hey, Reg!) on the cliche he mentioned. But, like he said, the storyline's fairly unique, and there are a lot of different directions you can take.

Although you haven't showed much, your art's really badass. Not only do you draw well (proportions, aesthetics, overall character design, etc.), but your lineart is freakin' CRISPY. Jeez, I almost feel bad that shadows and what-not will be added lol

03-19-2011, 09:59 PM
Hi there outlaw ^^
Thanks a lot for the reply, I hope I'll take my story in the right direction, hahah! (and warn me if I'm not xD)

I also added a second page and an intro page, I hope you like! :D

03-19-2011, 11:33 PM
Spice up the first page, dude. So much white space makes it boring to look at.

03-20-2011, 10:34 AM
I'll do some changes to both pages, but I want to keep the contrast between page 1 and 2
Thanks for the reply ^^

03-20-2011, 04:49 PM
That's cool, a little more hatching would keep the black and white contrast but still keep it visually interesting.

03-21-2011, 01:50 AM
The intro page is beautiful, but I feel it's lacking in, well, introducing.

Everything about it is top notch, but the two (main?) characters on the cover are waaaay in the mid-ground. They gotta be more in your face--KAPOW! MY NAME'S ELLEN!

In short, make the girls the focal point. The same poses, but more zoomed in might make it work.

The second page looks nice. I think the last panel should have more emphasis on the random-ass destruction. Motion lines, variation in, lighting, etc.

Good job so far!

03-26-2011, 09:16 AM
Hi outlaw, thanks for the helpful comment! I'll see what I can do with the first page, but I'm afraid it'll look more blurry if I scale it up. I already worked on a smaller sized canvas than usual and it was half finished before I realised that xD Maybe I'll just scrap the page xD

The last page definitely needs more work, so thanks ^^ I'm still trying to figure out how far I'll go with the lightning, because if I start with highly detailed pages, I'll need to keep that up in the entire story, hahah, but expect some improvement soon ^^

04-15-2011, 04:47 PM
Sorry for double post, but I uploaded a nex page on the front page: page 3

I added more detail and shading. I also downloaded mangastudio trial, but I really don't like the program :/ the only useful thing in there is, in my opinion, the speed lines and that stuff. So I guess I'll stick with photoshop ^^

I'm also trying to find a way to add decent speed lines and stuff to page 2 and both page 1 and 2 will get more work :D

I hope you like up to now :p