View Full Version : Yo mama/chuck norris/ anything else that might be funny thread.
The_missing_username
03-04-2011, 03:09 PM
Just nothing to break the rules, Ok?
I'll start us off.
A chav and his girlfriend are walking down a mall, his girlfriend is like oooohhh ooohhh I really want them shoes. So he gets a brick lobs it at the window and gives her the shoes. Then his girlfriend is like oooohhh ooohhh I really want that handbag. So he gets a brick lobs it at the window and gives her the handbag. Then his girlfriend is like oooohhh ooohhh I really want them necklace. So he sais WTF? Do you think I'm made of bricks?
GunZet
03-04-2011, 03:13 PM
A Mexican man walks into a bar.
Please note that he's the *only* Mexican person there and all the other guys are white.
Suddenly one of the white guys walks up to the Mexican guy and says...
"Hey you! Colored men aren't allowed, much less welcome here!"
Then, the Mexican guy turns around and says to the white guy...
"Hey pendejo... When I was born, I was brown!"
"When I grew up, I was brown!"
"When I am sick, I'm brown!"
"When I'm in the sun, I'm brown!"
"When I'm in the cold, I'm brown!"
"And when I die, I'll still be brown!"
"But on the other hand you, pendejo, when you were born, you were pink!"
"When you grew up, you were white!"
"When you're sick, you turn yellow or even green!"
"When you're in the sun, you turn red!"
"When you're in the cold, you turn blue!"
"And when you die, you'll turn purple!"
"And you have the nerve and the balls to call me a "colored man!?" Ha ha!"
Found that on Urban Dictionary.
The_missing_username
03-04-2011, 03:15 PM
LOL! that's a good one.
Hayashida
03-04-2011, 03:42 PM
Your mother is so fat, she finds it hard to breathe while doing strenuous activities.
bam
jubeh
03-04-2011, 03:55 PM
Your mother is so hot that...listen, could you just tell her to return my calls?
Hayashida
03-04-2011, 05:46 PM
Your mother is so upstanding that she doesn't have any points on her driver's license taken away and she regularly recycles.
GunZet
03-05-2011, 12:06 PM
YO momma's so fat
http://www.fugly.com/media/IMAGES/Amazing/giant-sinkhole-behind-house.jpg
Yo momma's so fat, when she walked past me her shadow broke my foot.
Apparently that is funny. I don't get these jokes.
Ozzaharwood
03-05-2011, 01:21 PM
Lmfao Lucy. I don't think I've laughed as much as I did just then in my life. (at both comments XD)
I got one... Yo' momma's like a vacuum cleaner; She sucks, she blows and gets laid in the closet.
Delphinus
03-05-2011, 08:37 PM
Would telling the aristocrats break the rules?
PWhit
03-05-2011, 09:52 PM
Would telling the aristocrats break the rules?
Anyone can tell it, but who can tell it the best....?
Anyway, your mothers are like bricks. They're flat, heavy and get laid by men that are just as fat and hopeless as they are.
(Use this joke on your friends and see if they will kill you! :o)
Evil_Cake
03-05-2011, 10:30 PM
but all my friends' moms are really skinny
GunZet
03-05-2011, 11:40 PM
All my friends don't have moms.
PWhit
03-07-2011, 09:51 PM
Lies.
and
Ouch.
Byakuran
03-08-2011, 07:57 AM
Chuck Norris doesn't need to bath. Dirt doesn't even dare to get close to him.
Blue_Dragon
03-08-2011, 09:24 AM
I heard Chuck Norris tears can heal cancer.
Too bad he never cries.
(mm...not very good.)
ClockHand
03-08-2011, 10:12 PM
Not even a Sheng Long wish can kill Chuck Norris.
Outcast
03-09-2011, 10:33 AM
In Soviet Russia tree climb into you.
It isn't an earthquake Chuck Norris just got laid.
A boy comes home from school and his mom asks
"what did you do at school today"
he replies "I had sex with a teacher today"
his mom shock and horrified tells him to go to his room.
His dad gets home and his mom, crying, tells his dad what happened
the dad goes up to the kid's room and says
"son your mom told me what happened and I'm supposed to yell at you but i'm proud of you, I wish I had the guts to do that when I was your age so I'm going to buy you a new bike"
the boy replies "Uh, thanks dad, but my ass is still sore"
GunZet
03-09-2011, 10:38 AM
Win.
Sylux
03-09-2011, 01:00 PM
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/032010/1268049933_macys_sale.gif
Can't post the image cuz school won't let me on the site.
GunZet
03-09-2011, 01:36 PM
Lmao, wut.
There are entire web sites dedicated to Chuck Norris jokes.
Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
Chuck Norris donated blood to one man. He's now known as Superman.
Every night, children check their closets for the boogeyman, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris . . .
. . . and Chuck Norris checks his closet for Shion Sonozaki. >>Higurashi joke<<
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he pushes the world down.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Just Google "Chuck Norris jokes" for more. There are thousands. Some suck, some are actually pretty funny. Funny thing is, the real Chuck Norris is actually a pretty nice guy, while the jokes depict him with no emotions and no mercy.
GunZet
03-09-2011, 03:20 PM
Chuck Norris shaves his beard with another beard.
Byakuran
03-09-2011, 08:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7auvTMm47uM
It's gets better later so don't worry about the first jokes
Terry Creeeeeews <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCl5uyn5K7k PEHPEHPEHPEHPOWER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQhLLCUgFIg I love this song
Blue_Dragon
03-09-2011, 11:02 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7auvTMm47uM
It's gets better later so don't worry about the first jokes
Terry Creeeeeews <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCl5uyn5K7k PEHPEHPEHPEHPOWER
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQhLLCUgFIg I love this song
Dude! Mitch Hedberg was my hero...but like all my heroes, he died of a heroine overdose.
Speaking of which, here's some of his jokes I like:
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
Ozzaharwood
03-11-2011, 08:33 PM
Hey, did you guys hear about the incident at the hospital yesterday?
Three old ladies were sitting on a bench in front of the hospital and were flashed by some young dude... TWO of them had strokes.
The other one couldn't reach.
GunZet
03-11-2011, 09:40 PM
Oh....man....
Outcast
03-11-2011, 10:31 PM
You know you like it.
Kodos
03-11-2011, 10:43 PM
http://img847.imageshack.us/img847/1190/pxweb.jpg
Thread over. Good night everyone.
Blue_Dragon
03-11-2011, 11:59 PM
^That reminds me of the plug in Evangelion....
Outcast
03-12-2011, 07:28 AM
Failed for fact of being posted before.
Byakuran
03-12-2011, 05:37 PM
the one of the lamest lines in advertisement imo:
' Money doesn't make you happy, So choose this opportunity to get rid of it! '
Delphinus
03-12-2011, 07:24 PM
the one of the lamest lines in advertisement imo:
' Money doesn't make you happy, So choose this opportunity to get rid of it! '
That's not lame, that's genius! O__O
Blue_Dragon
03-13-2011, 01:11 PM
Failed for fact of being posted before.
Dude! Did you see RE:Death? I never claimed it as mine (that's where I got it.) It was AMAZING!
Outcast
03-13-2011, 09:07 PM
I was referring to your mother's dildo.
GunZet
03-13-2011, 09:58 PM
More like the canister of your mother's douche AMIRITE!
Byakuran
03-18-2011, 06:45 PM
http://www.imgzzz.com/i/image_1299766512.jpg
Yo mama so fat even Naruto couldn't believe it.
Outcast
03-20-2011, 01:23 PM
Old but I like that one.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.0 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.