View Full Version : A Real Adventurer's Log (A Runescape Blog by Peter Whitney)

02-02-2011, 11:37 AM
Yeah there are all sorts of games out there but.... Runescape.... The only MMO I vexxed for a long time since it was really just plain stupid. I know it's nerdy to even do such a thing but what the hell, I may as well say it anyways.

Let's see, I remember that I played this game before and quit since it got crappy, but my nutball friend just told me (I quote from verbatim): "OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY BROUGHT BACK PVP AND FREE TRADE, PETER! GET ON RUNESCAPE NOW!" WHen peer pressure set in, I just said "Fine... damn."

Now let alone, I literally forgot everything about Runescape even my account and password. I only remember the basics. You hit something and you are rewarded with STUFF. Very simple right?

I started to register my account yesterday. When I told my friend, I have to make a new account, he's like "LOL K" and just moves on with his... whatever he does on that game.

I make my character, and they don't give too much leniency with the attire you can choose and wear. It wasn't very hard to create the character at least, so I picked the set with the most B/A, named stuff I could find.

After I made my character and his name (classified :D) I found my guy all the sudden in a storage room. Common place to come from right? BUT WAIT there's more! I was actually trapped by a Fire-Breathing Dragon with a Knight fending himself and his squire off from the attacks! The squire gets vaporized by the dragon's fire and a goblin is out to loot the Knight's stuff.

Now I think automatically: "Holy SHIT! This is AWESOME! Even if the graphics are barfed from an N64, this is really still pretty fucking cool!"

The knight calls mt to wear the squire's armor and kill the goblin trying to loot his stuff. I obviously killed the goblin then talked to the knight on what to do next. He tells me that there is "drugged meat" that I have to put in the Dragon's Food Bowl and then I can put it to sleep. I automatically groaned at how damn lame it was.

Of course, in order to advance, you have to do exactly what he says. Even though the wall was low enough to climb over, I still had to put a plank on a section and walk over it THAT way, even though I was in clear eyesight of the dragon. Again, extremely lame...

Then I put the drugged meat in a food bowl, and the dragon seems to find its way over and I magically disappear from the dragon's sight. I don't question it, since I am not dead.

After that, the Knight says to destroy the support beams by setting them on fire simultaneously. It was easy to figure out since a fourth grader can just click on what to make next... lame!

We set the support beams on fire and kill the dragon! YAY! I am a dragon slayer now! I guess... Then some old man comes out of a closet. ... Ha ha, but he really does literally come out of a closet. I have no clue why. He gives me two options on escape, mine through the rubble blocking the door or... chop the vines blocking the door. I chose mining out, but then when I try to do it, it blocks me saying: You need a level of 2 Mining to clear this path.

I know what you're thinking: That's normal in an RPG. However, I still call bullshit because you wouldn't practice on other rubble to get out of the doorway, you would just hit the damn rocks and get out of there!

After all that was said and done, I handed back the armor the squire dropped upon death to the knight. Why? It was to mourn his death of course. Still I was pissed since I earned the armor by helping Sir Talksalot escape the Basement of Doom...

Well, I got up out of the dungeon, being some idiot's basement and I walked out of the door and completed the very first quest of the game. Now I found myself with NOTHING in my inventory to get more XP. Well now this didn't sit well with me, but then I soon found stores gave free samples of everything they had to offer. Huzzah! I can go out and KILL!

I ended the day by killing helpless chickens in a chicken coop and getting level 5 of everything.

And that was it, that's all I really did. I decided to go to bed since it was boring. Today may behold something different, who knows!? I will get in some screen shots today for some visuals!

Here is my question of the day: Would you loot the squire's stuff after he got incinerated by fire (had you the choice to tell off the knight and say "It's mine bitch!")?

02-02-2011, 02:29 PM
Go catch some lobbies lolbbqzomgcowsrofl

02-02-2011, 07:30 PM
[Uses Quickchat:] My Fishing Level is 1.

02-02-2011, 09:51 PM
When I was training on chickens, I decided it got really boring since they always ran away. So I went to a cow pen. This was really funny because there are no farmers in the giant landscape I was on. The only NPC contact I found was the stupid milker. There was no real clear reason why she was there since there was a bucket not too far away from the cow you could milk and get it yourself.

Now between you and me, I sometimes question why people didn't really talk as they made a slaughterhouse out of a free range pen until I saw this.


I didn't match it to anyone's user, but damn... this training thing HAS to be boring if you need to masturbate in order to stay awake for the rest of it.

Now mind you I was just starting this inevitable madness of clicking on a cow and hoping in vain I would get some good XP's out of it. Well, I don't know where any of the logic applies here but look what I found!


and I didn't happen to kill this cow, but it wouldn't surprise me if it actually dropped that as well anymore.


This game doesn't hesitate to tell you how good you are doing! In fact, they love telling you! They want you to know how insignificant levels make you a superstar!!!!


I was leveling up and doing so well! I swear I got 24 attack and 20 range and blah blah blah... then all the sudden Ironman came to town! NO wait Ironwoman! No wait, ROBOTS! Oh my god! Actually no, they were just bots that use auto trainer for cows. Of course, I really don't need to ask why they would need such a thing. I was very sure it was against the rules so I reported them. That REALLY didn't do a thing so I didn't bother reporting any more bots...


Well that's all for now... Damn... this game is obnoxious about training... In world of Warcraft, all you needed to do was commit massive genocide.

Question of the Day: How many dead cows would it take to fill YOUR doghouse?

02-03-2011, 06:33 AM
I remember training against those cows back in my Runescape days, back when I was nerdy.
I think I got to level 70, and then quit when you couldn't mine rune essence for free anymore.

Edit: I just logged back in.
Says I haven't logged in 698 days, lol.
That must have been when I last checked to see what changed in the game, because I haven't played in 4 years.

02-03-2011, 08:31 PM
Don't think I can blame you dude. I don't think you missed a lot other than WTF drops from a COW....

02-04-2011, 10:44 AM
Lol, I'm level 74, maybe I should go to the wild, and pwn some newbs

02-04-2011, 02:06 PM
Have fun. :o