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BunnyVoid
10-19-2012, 01:36 AM
A hikikomori is a person who likes to cut himself/herself from society.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori

I happen to have high tendencies to become one.
For me this occurred ever since i felt like I have lost hope in reality in general. Especially in the different constructs society works. I feel like humanity's bound to be doomed at some point with this reality.

Are you one?
Just wanted to know if this condition is common among artists, gamers, geeks and "otakus" in general.

ClockHand
10-19-2012, 01:49 AM
I guess I would be one.

I hate going outside, I feel that the outside world is extremely aggressive and judgmental, that if you even look someone they might get angry to you just because you stare them (something I can't stop doing because if I see someone with special features, I try to remember those to draw them later) and is even worst if you try to talk or being nice (it has happened to my a lot, I have tried to be nice and people just want to fight you), and lets not even talk about urbanism on the city, I just feel depressed on how things are and how going outside is a struggle.

And I have developed a dislike for social activities, I can't handle to be around people, I hate malls or shoppings, and I can't go to parties, even more when friends invite me they tell me to be nice, because they know for fact that I get frustrated in parties and I canalize my frustration, depression and anxiety on the first ass hole who does a stupid comment.

Also I have this weird believe that there is no place for my outside, as I can't socialize with people, everyone is angry and you need to do such stupid things to be liked, I just find it easier to stay home and draw, at least I can get better in that and I enjoy it.

weird thing is that when I used to go to the psychologist he always tried me to go outside and be social. The deal is that I can be social, but there is no reward on it and it doesn't make me happy either, and he also told me to stop canalizing my problems on drawing because I do it soo much that I don't do it socially. weird.

Sutari
10-19-2012, 02:40 AM
My mom was worried i would be one as a kid, and my dad didn't mind since he thinks most people's idea of having fun and being social involves hurting themselves in some way. Which is kinda right if youre talking about the general masses.
I agree with bunnyvoid saying humanity will probably doom itself, but we'll still be here cause we saw it coming :P

I dont think i am hikikomori, i still walk/ride my bike through crowds if i have to, and go shopping and take trains. I still am disgusted with the mindless society, but i keep it to myself even in public!
The internet people are more quality friends than irl people most of the time, not even joking.

Online friends who can draw are even better, cause its like sharing whats in your head with whats in other people's heads. an un-creative friend isnt a friend worth having IMO *fist in the air*

ClockHand
10-19-2012, 02:49 AM
You know what is crazy, that its extremely hard (at least for me) to find people who draw in real life.

Rubisko
10-19-2012, 04:12 AM
You know what is crazy, that its extremely hard (at least for me) to find people who draw in real life.

I agree, that's why I really want to get to an art school :/

I don't think that I'm one, I do find myself somewhat cut of from society right now because drawing is very solitary work, but I don't like it at all and have actually been loosing weight because of it. I think that if somethings wrong with society you will only do it and yourself a disservice by cutting yourself off from it. Society depend on human interaction and produce ideas chewed on between people with different backgrounds and needs, and that makes you a part of it all. So cutting yourself off from it only makes you a cancer tumor on it, and if you think it's doomed it's probably because of tumors.

If you wish to make it as comercial artists you will also need to be able to respond to the needs and views of society. Internet doesn't contain all the things there is to real life, only real life does. Friends that doesn't completely share my interests or views are my most valued friends, because they can provide input on my ideas that I wouldn't be able to see on my own. To prove my point, most of what I have written here come from outside sources; I think that if I didn't have those wonderful friends that don't think like I do and yet they manage to put up with me and talk to me, then I would be in real danger of becoming a hikikomori

BunnyVoid
10-19-2012, 04:27 AM
Yes I agree, it is hard to find artist friends in real life. If ever I do find one, its so hard to get along instantly because we artists have our own protective barriers which we have to break before we could share the same one. Also, there are multiple factors which people consider and may well be neglected in the online world.

Its not that I hate humans in general. I have lots of friends who I can hang out, go drinking with, and etc but at the end of the day, my relationship with them suddenly feels empty. Sometimes I think people are blinded by this "reality". I cannot really word how this grudge of mine works but you guys get the idea with what you said.

Ironically, the system we're living in drains the life out us. (By system I mean the way society works) I just don't like it.




I don't think that I'm one, I do find myself somewhat cut of from society right now because drawing is very solitary work, but I don't like it at all and have actually been loosing weight because of it. I think that if somethings wrong with society you will only do it and yourself a disservice by cutting yourself off from it. Society depend on human interaction and produce ideas chewed on between people with different backgrounds and needs, and that makes you a part of it all. So cutting yourself off from it only makes you a cancer tumor on it, and if you think it's doomed it's probably because of tumors.


I like that metaphor you used. The cancer thing has been used over and over to explain certain diseases in society. Its not that I don't want to work with society. Its even the opposite. I badly wanted to change this society but I can only do so little things that don't effect into anything worthy. This is the reason why i went to architecture. So I could do so much more with my art. I hate society so much because I want to change it and I can't.

I don't know how to explain. It might be good to note that the country that I live in has so much experience of immorality and social irresponsibility.

Maybe I'm too idealistic. Maybe I'm too ambitious and unrealistic. Maybe I believe in a reality far different from what I see and experience. All these things cause me to shy away from society, because I'm hopeless.

I'm just relieved tho. Its rather enlightening to know what other people think of being recluse.

Sutari
10-19-2012, 04:54 AM
I agree with Rubisko too, but in my experience, trying to help people that don't want to change and think you are crazy for being different, isn't going to get you very far (they think the wrong way is the right way). Other people learning or changing their habits at your expense, then blaming you if they can't handle what you tell them, is my biggest peeve. Maybe my opinions are too unpopular.
Of course not everyone does this, and I do have good friends in real life from when we were kids.

I think theres a difference between being paranoid, hating society, and just being timid and generally not wanting to be social. Its just that you can do all of those things at the same time, and maybe they are all percieved as hikikomori.
Sometimes it is just too stressful/annoying to try to mix it up with people, and I always end up leaving and wanting to do my own things.

If there was no internet, i think being a hikikomori would be pretty hard.

Outcast
10-19-2012, 05:46 PM
People are shit. Fuck 'em.

ClockHand
10-19-2012, 08:58 PM
I think that if somethings wrong with society you will only do it and yourself a disservice by cutting yourself off from it. Society depend on human interaction and produce ideas chewed on between people with different backgrounds and needs, and that makes you a part of it all. So cutting yourself off from it only makes you a cancer tumor on it, and if you think it's doomed it's probably because of tumor.

Are you calling people who might have a problem and are not able to integrate to society as expected, tumors?

Regantor
10-19-2012, 10:51 PM
Eh. Cutting yourself off hardly helps the situation, but you can hardly call shut-in people the route of the problem.

Society is full of alot of self-brainwashed sick puppies. People who think that getting drunk and busting out some kids is the only thing worthwhile to do with their lives. So it's a perfectly sane conclusion to come to, that you are surrounded by people who's life goals are completely inferior to your own.

The tricky party is, how do you know which ones are just acting like goofballs just to fit in, just like you are? How can you judge if a freind's strange, alien thought paterns are better or worse than your own whilst this barrier remains intact? How can you judge the intentions of your own family?

Even with an internet connection in every household, is seems every man is still an island.

Rubisko
10-20-2012, 02:48 AM
Are you calling people who might have a problem and are not able to integrate to society as expected, tumors?

No, I'm just using it as an analogy. Society exists because of people, if a person shut herself away from society she will cease to do her part for society, but society will not cut her off. That's very much the case of a cell in a body that is afflicted with cancer. I didn't think about the very negative attribute of the word itself, and it is not my intention to make people who have trouble fitting in feel like they are cancer.

However, if we find it difficult to integrate and communicate with the people around us, and we come to the conclusion that it's probably so because they don't understand us, just remember that Ockham's razor suggest that the fault lies with us. Neither is it a matter of pretending to be something other people like, it's about changing yourself until you are something that both you and other people like. Because yes, to tie into BunnyVoid's initial post, I think that people that have artistic pursuits are more in danger of becoming secluded than people with more social interests, and if we as artists can't understand other people, how are other people going to appreciate our art?

Outcast
10-20-2012, 07:34 AM
I don't think it it matters if one gets recognition from another.
Actually you're coming off as one of those people who only seek to be "accepted".

Rubisko
10-20-2012, 01:02 PM
To be honest, I have a hard time imagining that there would even be people who "only" seek to be accepted. All the people I know seek to live a happy life, but surely that cannot be achieved without the acceptance, love, respect and sense of belonging that you can only get from other people? Actually you can cross out that question mark, because it is already proven to be true. The name Abraham Maslow should probably be a good one to check out if you don't believe me. If that doesn't satisfy you continue with Frederick Herzberg, and if you are still not convinced go on to Harry Harlow. Although, things are getting really disturbing at the Harlow level, at least I think so. You might of course be of another opinion but I start to cry by just reading about his research.

Outcast
10-20-2012, 06:07 PM
All the people I know seek to live a happy life, but surely that cannot be achieved without the acceptance, love, respect and sense of belonging that you can only get from other people?

Already got that from my grandmother no one else really matters.

erikamae
10-22-2012, 08:56 AM
Hikikomori seems like my kind of jam.

Black_Shaggie
10-22-2012, 11:34 AM
I think that a lot of people actually fit the description of a hikikomori than they realize. Imo...society on a whole are gradually gravitating away from 'normal' types human social interaction. Take this forum for example: here we are discussing this topic anonymously without too much fear of ridicule, judgment or rejection...but how many of us here would feel that they could honestly voice their opinions of this subject IRL? Not to say that anybody here's a punk or anything...but what I'm getting at is that society is gradually become more introverted.

How much of one's day is spent communicating via the web or cell? How much of one's PERSONAL time is precisely that: time personally spent with the entire world shut out while that person escapes into whatever fantasy that floats their boat?


I'll admit that I am a recluse. I really make new relations & the old ones I have (including family) I keep distant because when someone else's shit coincides with your own, you have to deal with extra shit and a lot of people really just can't handle too much shit.

Can a person outside of society's norm contribute to said society? Yes. I can't quote anyone else thoughts on this, but just because I don't follow the herd like everyone else doesn't mean that I can't contribute to that herd without following them all to the slaughterhouse.

I'm rambling here but if were supposed to have free & conscious thought...humankind...doesn't it make sense that people who have thought about society today (or whenever) & decided that they rather not follow that trend doesn't mean that they cannot find their own way based of the choices that they've made.

Rio
10-22-2012, 12:49 PM
For me this occurred ever since i felt like I have lost hope in reality in general. Especially in the different constructs society works. I feel like humanity's bound to be doomed at some point with this reality.Is this because of the selfishness that society promotes now? Of the "me, me, me", everything is your fault but not mine, "makes for good TV", etc kind of behavior? If it is, then I'm not surprised. The boundaries of society has become such that anything and everything is pretty much accepted now-a-days from rude behavior, speech, attitude, and so on. It doesn't help when they are egged on as well from media and media-related outlets.

With that said, society as a whole is not full of nasty people. You may unfortunately have access to and interact with people who are like that in RL but you can always change that. Don't hang out with those people. Find others who are like yourself. Instead of focusing on the negative of people's words and actions - why not remember those who have been nice or at least positive instead? In my opinion, it's all about your personal attitude and whether or not you have a thick skin and can brush any insult or slight that comes your way. At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide your life. And let me tell you - you're better off getting rid of whatever prejudices, hurt feelings, bottled emotions, misunderstandings and whatnot because those things are just going to drag you down until you get rid of them. <-- personal experience

Anyways, I don't think hikikomori's are new. Hermits have been in existence for centuries. Most of the common ones would be monks who cloister themselves away from society so they can attend to the spiritual without the influences of the outside world. If you become a hikikamori though, I suggest you get a pet (preferably a dog). I bet that pet will tide over the loneliness you'll feel every now and then.

Black_Shaggie
10-22-2012, 02:02 PM
What she said

Sylux
10-27-2012, 03:15 PM
If you are all partial hermits then what the hell are you doing on a social forum.

Hayashida
10-27-2012, 09:24 PM
Hmm well you see the great thing about online forums is that you can interact with peeps without having to leave your chair. Ain't that great?
:bunny_chuckle:

Evil_Cake
10-27-2012, 11:44 PM
theme song of da thread


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKY-smJ6aBQ

whenrabbitsattack2.0
10-30-2012, 04:28 AM
I'm not a hikkomori, but I can see thge reasons for either considering yourself/becoming one

most of my friends IRL just think I'm weird. I've never really managed to click with anyone completely becuase I have a kinda odd outlook on people and socialisation in general. I don't find it hard to make what i'd call aquaintances (spelled that wrong >.>) but I've never met someone IRL who actually gets how i see things. I think society is currently extraordinarily self centered because it makes people fell like that deserve reward which in turn benefits business. However, i can't say I've lost fate in society because I can't say whether I'm better then society, and therefore have the right to judge societie's worth. the issue of fairness is more important to me than liberty.