View Full Version : If monsters were real?

10-11-2012, 11:21 PM
Would monsters suffer from the same social, mental/neurological, phobias, and developmental problems that humans do?
Like would there be ADHD vampires?
Down syndrome werewolves?
Mummy's with anxiety attacks?
Zombies with social anxiety disorder?
A Loch Ness monster that was afraid or the dark?
Or any combination of such things.
I'm not sure if that would make them less or more terrifying honestly.

And yes it's stupid but it was something I was wondering. A new spin on monsters IMO.

10-11-2012, 11:24 PM
Hemophobic vampire

10-11-2012, 11:29 PM
Well the real ones at the blood bank are so that's a given. And you just think you are sooooooooooo funny don't you!

10-11-2012, 11:36 PM
Aren't zombies, mummies and vampires already dead? is not like they can have any normal disease.

10-12-2012, 12:13 AM
Aren't they Undead, meaning alive in a sense?

10-12-2012, 04:53 AM
What about a Diabetic Vampire, Warewolves with asthma or Anorexic Gollem?

10-12-2012, 10:34 AM
Aren't they Undead, meaning alive in a sense?

Undead implies that they're firmly in the clutches of death yet still clinging to their mortality by a very very thin thread. It manifests diffrently for the undead to:

Vampires & werewolves (not undead but...) obviously are the most 'human' so they'd the most likely to be mentally & emotionally fucked up....bi polar and schizophrenic werewolves....manic depressive vampires...just fucked.

I think mummies would have alzhimers because they're ancient.

Zombies? Zombies are mindless virus carries without a conscioous thought so even if monsters were real they wouldn't be sentient anymore.

As for the rest of monsters & how society would make sense of it, please watch Rosario + Vampire for reference.

10-12-2012, 10:44 AM
Would monsters suffer from the same social, mental/neurological, phobias, and developmental problems that humans do?
Like would there be ADHD vampires?
Down syndrome werewolves?
Mummy's with anxiety attacks?
Zombies with social anxiety disorder?
A Loch Ness monster that was afraid or the dark?

Just playing off some things that Psy mentioned:

For diseases like down syndrome and other mental disorders, it'd seem that monsters that had once been human but were transformed (like vampires) would still have this mental "retardation". I don't think being tranformed into a monsters would "correct" their genes. I think any animal monster (like the Loch Ness monster) could also be mentally challenged since there are things like Down Syndrome present in existing animals and since these disorders are just mutations in genetics.

Then, there are fears (Loch Ness being afraid of the dark). I think most every monster, excluding the zombies and possibly the mummies, could suffer from fears considering that anything with the slightest emotion or thought has fears (e.g. dogs fearing lightening)

10-13-2012, 10:29 AM
Diabetic Vampire?

As a diabetic myself, I just find the implications of a diabetic vampire hilarious. Would he accuse unhealthy people of having blood like donut glaze? Would he just suck the insulin straight out of people's pancreases?...

I think the best vampire movies are really ones where the vampirism is treated as the affliction in itself, through, really. Case in point; Chronos or Thirst.

10-13-2012, 09:38 PM
haha a zombie with a social anxiety disorder that's hilarious

10-15-2012, 01:02 PM
I guess if you were to really think about it...if monsters were real then they'd probally have the same issues as humans wouldn't they? I mean most monsters are capable of at least ONE conscious thought right? So, they would more than likely be just as mentally stable & unstable as the rest of us right? As far as physical ailments I guess that would depend on the monster & the affliction then.

Earlier I referenced Rosario + Vampire as to what shit would be like, but I think that crappy show UGLY AMERICANS would fit this hypothetical better.

10-15-2012, 01:08 PM
i think the worst part of being a werewolf would be waking up the next day with poo taste in ur mouth, from licking ur own butt

10-15-2012, 01:22 PM
Yup...or even worse you're a werewolf who really just has a terrible memory & organizational skills and just flat out forgets when the moon's full.

Or a vampire who previously had an eating disorder & keep 'purging' everytime she sucks blood.

How about a pixie or a sprite with megalomania?

Maybe a spriggan who has issues with his height?

10-15-2012, 02:06 PM
A mummy with a learning disability

A skeleton with body image issues

10-15-2012, 02:17 PM
Ha! An Arch Wizard with down syndrome.

A children eating witch with chrones (piles)disease...oh! And she actually loves caring for kids more than eating them (but that's all that she can eat)

10-16-2012, 09:34 AM
I never really thought about this question...I think it depends on the level of congnitive thinking the monster had. Like the Blob...had no brain, right? So it wasn't really conscious that it was well, the butt of many people's fat jokes.

But like, "sentient" beings, or ones that are aware of themselves and think, I bet they could have mental issues. Perhaps. Look at Drusilla!


Complete and total side note, Shaggie your avatar is awesome.

10-16-2012, 10:10 AM
Thanks Blue. I'm actually a 7 year old Norwegian boy named Sven.

Oh! Here's more:

A sphinx who just can't tell a joke (or a riddle) right.

A giant who's very afraid of small things.

A roc (that's a giant eagle people) has a fear of flying.

10-19-2012, 11:59 PM
A man who can shrink or expand at will, but has both agrophobia and claustrophobia.

The monster from the black lagoon with serious OCD and cleanliness issues.

Vampires that are immune to being shown the cross, but have a serious fear of the letter "t". :3

10-20-2012, 01:16 AM
Ok so do any of these afflictions make monsters less scary more scary or what about more believable and likable?

10-22-2012, 12:04 PM
More human I think. Seeing as these afflictions are things that remind us of our own imperfections, this stint on monsters would place them into a more plausible & 'positive' light. Thoughts on monsters in general would be that they are not monsters but rather humans & animals with far more issues going on than most.

Taking the mystery out of a situation & shit isn't scary at all anymore, just weird. Hell if this hypothetical were true & I knew that the creature from the Black Lagoon was real but OCD, I'd just make a mess at his pristine lagoon to distract his amphibious ass long enough to save my GF from whatever monstrous designs he may have had for her for example.

I mean folks would obviously be wary of them but not afraid since we'd all share the common frailties of humankind. I've allways felt as if the classic monsters (vampires, werwolves, golems & zombies) were real that their classic weaknesses make them fodder for humanity anyways. With these added issues they'd be no more frightening than a bear in the woods...assuming you don't have your gun to stop that bear from mauling you...

10-28-2012, 11:08 AM
This. This needs to be a comic.


An anorexic dragon. "The townspeople will make my butt look big!"

11-01-2012, 10:54 AM
How about a blind beholder?


I mean I wouldn't ride it though...

01-05-2013, 07:51 AM
My favorite Vampire is Edward! :cat_wahaha:

01-05-2013, 01:12 PM
We define diseases and illnesses as things that are different from the norm. The human norm, ie. the average state of health possessed by the majority of humans. So by definition alone, all humanoid monsters already have diseases.

For instance, all zombies by default have advanced neurodegenerative disease, severe multi-system failure and sepsis, with eating disorder, apathy, sluggish cognitive tempo, disinhibition, etc. Vampires have xeroderma pigmentosum, anemia, heart failure, NPD, etc. And since they already have all these, nothing stops them from having even more! It's tough being a monster, hahahaha.

01-05-2013, 01:32 PM
I don't know, because zombies are by definition undeads, which mean they are, in some extension, dead. And more than having disease, they could port disease. Also the view of zombies as resolute of a disease is something more modern and in the older folklore they were just people reanimated from the graves by some sort of magic, which mean that they were just reanimated people (I remember in a book where they weren't described as rotten corpses, but rather as normal people without will).

I feel that the justification could be anything, a curse, magic, disease, planets, the sun (Heroes), etc. And depending of those you can argue if they are can be both or more. But on modern zombies, they are supposed to be a disease and be dead, so probably they could only have the undead disease and port others. While vampires, if you follow them as the classical offspring of Dracula, they are undead too, so probably they can't get more disease, but they could port. And werewolfs, well, they are a disease or curse, but they are not dead, so probably they could become other things, or probably have their own diseases.

Also, who remember when vampires used to be cool (when they weren't gothic shit nor sparkly shit)?



01-05-2013, 02:38 PM
Hahaha good point. I guess in the end, it depends how broad your definitions are. Maybe being dead is a disease too :P

Also, I actually thought vampires were the coolest monsters of all, and actually quite beautiful as a concept because even when undead, they had a certain mortality/fragility to them. Like burning up in the sun, which is awesome, and I loved Bram Stoker's Dracula. But then Twilight took all that away from me and basically completely ruined the vampire genre. It even ruined the word "twilight". I'm quite bitter :p

So now I'm into zombies. No one can ruin that for me!!!!! D:<

01-05-2013, 02:46 PM
Well, there is going to be a movie about a zombie who finds a girl and feel in love. I guess now zombies are going to get their twilight.

The safest at the moment is keeping with Lovecraft monsters, even so I'm pretty sure there are some rule34 on them, but still no twilight at the moment. Or Pan's Labyrinth.

Man, some of the coolest "monsters" for my are from Nephilim, specially because they are just spirit that posses people.

01-05-2013, 07:17 PM
There's some wretched anime where they make Nyarlathotep into a loli waifu.

EDIT: Even funnier when you consider how Nyarlathotep was sort of the only one of Lovecraft's original pantheon who seemed to be actively malevolent towards man, rather than just indifferent.

01-05-2013, 07:28 PM

You are right.

DAMN YOU JAPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

01-08-2013, 11:35 PM
Well, there is going to be a movie about a zombie who finds a girl and feel in love.

That's not funny. I really hope you're joking. You have to be joking.
That ain't right man. That just ain't right.

Also, lmfao at Japanese Nyarlathotep. That just made my day.

01-09-2013, 12:33 AM

01-09-2013, 01:36 AM
Monsters do exist! I've seen them!